Bariatric Bullies--You know who you are!

[Nicey2u 228]

I'm not saying everyone here is a bully! I'm just saying there are those small few that ruin it! I mean for someone to laugh and say mean things because of the way I worded something and call me dramatic is mean! I was really serious and looking for advice! Most here are very helpful but there are some that are mean with their answers! JUST SAYIN!!

Mean people suck! But they are out there and sometimes don't even realize they are being mean! Take it with a grain of salt. The helpful kind people FAR outweigh (No pun intended) the mean ones! ; ) I have gotten so much help during my journey on here!! I am so happy I found this site!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I guess I've missed all this "bullying" that you speak of. In the future, I'd suggest if you feel "bullied", hit the report button and ask a moderator for assistance.

Creating a topic to call names and point fingers is only going to stir up drama and quite frankly, is against the rules of this forum. I'm sorry your feeling were hurt by someone and I hate that it happened to you. You have every right to ask any question you want and I encourage you to continue to post, learn and grow (shrink!?!) but at the same time, starting topics like this do nothing for the good of the community.

Best wishes to you.

[woo woo 872]

Agree with LL 1000% percent.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

I'm not saying everyone here is a bully! I'm just saying there are those small few that ruin it! I mean for someone to laugh and say mean things because of the way I worded something and call me dramatic is mean! I was really serious and looking for advice! Most here are very helpful but there are some that are mean with their answers! JUST SAYIN!!

i guess i fail to see how anyone else can "ruin" anything for me... this is an online forum. there are 100s and 100s of people here. at any one time there will be many people saying things i dont like, for whatever reason. if someone says something i dont like, i move on. people werent put on this earth to act the way i think they should and vise versa. its not my job to babysit anyone's feelings and no one should have to babysit my feelings.... if someone is personally attacking me then i report them. otherwise, no one ruins anything for me... i am an adult, i get to choose how much weight i put on someone else's responses to me (or anyone else).

once i start requiring other people to act a certain way so i can have a certain experience, i am giving away my power and responsibility. i am here to get support, knowledge and share my experience. if any one person isnt adding to that, so what? move on! if you are going to hang out in an online forum, you need a thick skin... people are always going to act in ways you dont like, you cant let them ruin your experience here if the reason you are here is important to you.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I'm not saying everyone here is a bully! I'm just saying there are those small few that ruin it! I mean for someone to laugh and say mean things because of the way I worded something and call me dramatic is mean! I was really serious and looking for advice! Most here are very helpful but there are some that are mean with their answers! JUST SAYIN!!

i guess i fail to see how anyone else can "ruin" anything for me... this is an online forum. there are 100s and 100s of people here. at any one time there will be many people saying things i dont like, for whatever reason. if someone says something i dont like, i move on. people werent put on this earth to act the way i think they should and vise versa. its not my job to babysit anyone's feelings and no one should have to babysit my feelings.... if someone is personally attacking me then i report them. otherwise, no one ruins anything for me... i am an adult, i get to choose how much weight i put on someone else's responses to me (or anyone else).

once i start requiring other people to act a certain way so i can have a certain experience, i am giving away my power and responsibility. i am here to get support, knowledge and share my experience. if any one person isnt adding to that, so what? move on! if you are going to hang out in an online forum, you need a thick skin... people are always going to act in ways you dont like, you cant let them ruin your experience here if the reason you are here is important to you.

Girl. Can you go post this in the "We are all adults here" thread?

[CrazyJaney 775]

Not sure how anyone could not SEE that bullying exist on here. It most definitely does - just like everywhere else on the internet and in life. Bullies are weak, little, spineless people who feel power when they say or do something to make others hurt or feel inferior. Then they use the defense that "I was just speaking frankly". I see that on here often. But I also see heaps of goodness and support. The Eleanor Roosevelt quote that says "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent", applies in all areas of life. There are stupid people everywhere. DONT GIVE THEM POWER. Take the good and leave the bad. This site is chock full of good advice sprinkled with negativity here and there. I get what you're saying though - It's like they have amnesia of the early days.

[Travelmego 235]

Please, someone bully me. I want to verbally kick your ass.

Alternatively, I might kill you with kindness - totally depends on my mood. .

(For the record, I don't start stuff...)

Love that quote @@CrazyJaney "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." !

Edited June 2, 2014 by Travelmego

[Nicolanz 1,484]

I LOVE that quote too!

[jjinWA 511]

I am anxious and even a bit scared of having my surgery on June 17. I had a very complicated surgery when I was 16 and I was not supposed to live. Yup, well I am 60 now so I showed them! Because of that surgery, this surgery will be much more tricky then just doing a standard sleeve. For me, yes I have decided it will be worth that risk. So, what do I do, but read the folder called surgery complications. Big mistake! Scared the bejesus out of me! I posted a comment that now I really am having second thoughts (never mentioned about the previous surgery I had years ago). I was honestly looking for support and encouragement. Nope, I received one post.... "So if you are that worried, don't have it." Nice. So was this person a bully, just rude, or being bluntly honest. I will leave that to interpretation of others. I am still scared to death for this upcoming surgery, but I am not living now anyway. Just existing. I am going to go forward. Here is a quote I live by, when a bully decides to put me in their sight. " learn a lesson from your dog--no matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that shit and move on." That is exactly what I did after reading that reply post. :-).

[CrazyJaney 775]

Good point that people take the written word without thought that there is more behind the scenes. I'm always mystified when that happens. Don't people realize all we see of others online is a teeny-tiny piece of their picture? Our histories and our whole lives are not represented in every post. Sometimes I liken it to AA. There are some sober people who are Enlightened, peaceful and supportive. Then there are others who are righteous, indignant and judgy. Same goes with previously obese people I guess. I love that quote. Dogs are so much smarter than humans.

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

jjinWA,

lol...... love that quote. Made my day.

[jenniferx25 10]

It's funny cuz we all were in the beginning stage! And I very upset because I went to see my surgeon and the nurse that weighting me had the nerve to say, "I don't know why people are doing this surgery, they need to run around in the park and stop depending on a surgery" omg! I got so upset and I told her some people need it for medical reasons, and it's really messed up, I told my doctor I don't want her to help me at all! And he assigned a nice older nurse that understood why we are doing this,

[Nicolanz 1,484]

It's funny cuz we all were in the beginning stage! And I very upset because I went to see my surgeon and the nurse that weighting me had the nerve to say, "I don't know why people are doing this surgery, they need to run around in the park and stop depending on a surgery" omg! I got so upset and I told her some people need it for medical reasons, and it's really messed up, I told my doctor I don't want her to help me at all! And he assigned a nice older nurse that understood why we are doing this,

I can't believe a "professional" said that to you! How horrendous!

[jjinWA 511]

I had that very same thing happen to me. I had to see a cardiac dr for clearance to do the WLS. His nurse asked why I wanted to see the dr and I explained the requirement. She went into a rant about why people just need to watch what they eat and exercise more. No one would be fat if they just followed a healthy lifestyle! I have heard that so many times. That is why I have not told anyone. Too many critics and I just don't need that right now.

[CrazyJaney 775]

The ignorance of the general medical community is mind boggling. That's why I chose not to tell many. I've been a ICU nurse for 18 years. I have way too many in my group who are irritated by the super obese and just don't really understand. Someone else said it - we have to have thick skin to get through this. Sad that the data hasn't (yet) convinced the medical community at large.