"Food Funeral" a long read but worth it

[Mexicangirl 21]

Since Helenamarie83 and I met our surgeons on March 26th we have been on a strict 1200 calorie diet from our nutritionist. We have not strayed we haven't eaten anything we shouldn't and it's been over two months now. I have lost 35 lbs. and she has lost 30 lbs. When we first started this program we decided that after we had been approved and given a surgery date and have been eating cleanly for a few months we would have a "food funeral". A food funeral to us was not something we planned to eat all of our favorite foods as a goodbye and we shall never meet again thing, we planned it as a lets get healthy and then eat just one meal/day like we used to so we can see just how horrible we treated our bodies and how much and how bad we used to eat.

So the day finally came Wednesday May 28th 2014 we are walking out of our last pre op appointments and we were kinda excited to be going in to our food funeral! I mean who wouldn't be, getting to finally eat all the things you loved and had turned your back on for over 2months?! We had been thinking and dreaming about this day making our agenda of the places we would go and the foods we would eat. We decided that we would eat like we would at a family party. We would go out and have Pasta and bread stick and Cookies and a cupcake and ice cream all the amazing foods that you would find at a birthday party or celebration. Our first stop out the door on our way to run some errands was Mc Donald's because lucky us our city was selected to try the new seasoned fries and I'm a sucker for anything garlic flavored and wouldn't you know it that's one of the flavors. So in true us fashion we head through the drive through all excited and we each get our OWN medium garlic fry and headed on our way. We each made it through a hand full of fires and realized these were not as good as we had imagined them being in fact they were horrible !! So not worth the $6.35 I spent on them!! We decided not to eat anymore and throw them away. As we were walking through the store I kept smelling this horrible smell and realized it was US!! The smell of those dang fries had gotten all over us and our clothes and our hands I couldn't handle it for a second longer. Was this what we used to smell like on the daily when we would stop and eat fast food in our cars driving to work, home,activities, the store?? After our purelle bath we headed out to dinner to continue on our plan. Now before this all started we had pinky promised each other that no matter how ill we felt or how full we got or how much we didn't want to, we had to stop at every place we had on our agenda and eat the same serving sizes we used to because that is what we would have done just two short months ago.

Next up dinner!! We headed to our favorite Italian restaurant where we each got a bowl of pasta with chicken or sausage added to it, breadsticks and a bowl of our favorite pesto ranch. We ordered pink lemonade which was way too sweet we couldn't even drink any of it and ended up getting a glass of Water on the side. The breadsticks came out first and the excitement on our face could not be hidden. We both made it almost all the way through our breadsticks then our pasta came out. At this point both of us are already feeling kind of full from these breadsticks. We put our breadsticks aside and just stare at our bowls of pasta like how in the world did we eat all of this before? It took us probably 30 minutes to get through the bowl of pasta and we didn't even get it all down and we both felt like we were going to explode. At this point we are trying to talk each other out of going to get anything else because we didn't know how in the world we were going to get out of the booth and walk out the door let alone climb up into my truck and drive somewhere else. I am so full I am actually burping which is something I haven't done since I have started eating slow and clean. We manage to get up and pay for our bill and head out the door. We are another $14 each into this horrible plan.

Next stop cookies!! We headed to our favorite gourmet cookie shop which sells cookies the size of a small child and we each order our 2 favorites because again that's exactly what we would have done 2 months ago. We head back to the truck still feeling extremely full from dinner not sure how we're going to get these cookies down. After we Paul Blart it up into my truck we start on our first cookie. I do not remember them being so sweet. My first cookie was so rich it took me so long to get it down and all we wanted to do was throw them out the widow but we knew that it was important for us on our journey to do this. It took us at least 20 minutes to finish the first cookie (remember they are the size of a toddler) before we decided that we couldn't just sit there eating cookies doing nothing. I decided that we should just get this done and over with and head to the next stop while we are eating our 2nd cookie.

Up next cupcakes!! At this point there is No excitement at all about this. As we pull up to the cupcake shop still trying to choke down the rest of our cookies. We are both already feeling like we are going to throw up and still have at least a 1/4 of our cookies left to finish. We protestingly get out of the truck and both agree that there is no need to finish the cookie especially since we are waddling into this cupcake shop to share a cupcake. Whats that, a glimmer of hope?? The cupcake shop is closed!! We can check that off the list of places we have to go but then we remember our plan! If this one is closed there is another one right down the street. We hop (and by hop i mean roll) back into the truck and start on our way to the next shop. While we are driving there we agreed if they are closed we will just cross cupcakes off of the list and move on to the final stop ice cream. We pull in and of course they are open. Helenamarie83 tries everything she can to convince me she really doesn't love or want a cupcake that much and we really don't need this. I agree but remember our pinky and practically shove her out of the truck. We planned to share a cupcake just like we always have in the past because they are so sweet and have a ton of frosting. Once we walk in just the smell of the cupcakes turned my stomach and all i wanted to do was walk out. We walked in and ordered the first cupcake we seen and asked for a knife so we could cut it in half. We pay $3 FOR ONE CUPCAKE and head out the door. We go around the corner in the parking lot and lean up against a wall and almost in tears split a cupcake. It was so hard to even put this thing in my mouth let alone chew it. After i chocked it down as quick as possible and turn around to see Helenamarie83 holding on to a glob of frosting like she wasn't going to eat it! After a few obscenities from yours truly she shoved it in her mouth and we were on our way to the truck.

As we got back into the truck we realized that eating all the fatty and high in sugar foods is starting to take a toll on our bodies and we are not feeling good at all. We decided to head across the street to the furniture store because they have the nicest bathrooms around that are not very populated As i am speeding across the street it becomes very apparent that i am no longer used to eating like this and we are making some ungodly noises that i am glad no one is around to hear!! As we get out of the truck and are speed walking into the store i am praying that i make it and don't have an accident. I round the corner just in time to see the CLOSED for cleaning sign up in front of the women's bathroom. Because there is nothing else i can do i start laughing which is not helping my situation at all. To take our minds off of the fact that we are about to explode we decided to go walk in our favorite section of the store and give them a few minutes to finish cleaning. Everything is going well we are not thinking about it at all and i soon forget i even have go to the bathroom. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks. I yell at Helenamarie83 to grab my purse and run I've got to go NOW but she was already on her way with the same idea. We are running through the patio furniture section telling our selves out loud "just hold on your'e almost there" all while pinching our butts as tight as possible and laughing at this AWESOME predicament we have just gotten our selves into (i can only imagine what we looked like). We barge in the bathroom like theres someone chasing us and run into stalls and well you get the point. Both physically exhausted and clinching on to the hand rails for dear life we stay in our stalls with out the energy to get up for about 15 minutes all while the toilets are auto flushing every 5 minutes because they cant figure out why there has been no movement for so long . We decided we better not travel far from the bathroom just incase there is a round 2 in our near future so we head to a section in the store where we can lay on furniture with out anyone noticing us while we recover from our traumatic experience. About an hour later we finally feel ok enough to head out (well that and they were about to close) and we are reluctantly on our way to our last stop.

Our last stop ice cream At this point in time we are trying to remind ourselves why we made this plan in the first place, why we are putting ourselves through all this crazy. We pull into our favorite ice cream place and get out and walk up to what feels like our funeral. This place is PACKED and the last thing i have the energy to do is stand in a long line. We wait for about 20 minutes and finally it is our turn and we both order a medium size cup of ice cream. This size ice cream is something that we normally would have gotten and eaten in just a few minutes. This time however that was not the case. We were both so exhausted and so sick to our stomach it was like torture just being out of the house away from the bathroom let a lone trying to eat our way through our mountains of ice cream. We take bite after bite and yet it looks like nothings even missing from our cups. I never thought id see the day where you would have to force me to eat ice cream. Helenamarie83 is asking me if it would count if she asked them to heat this up so she could just drink it. After i tell her no she starts shoveling full spoonfuls into her mouth and swallowing them whole. I think to myself what a great idea so i try to do the same thing forgetting that i have Oreo cookies mixed into mine and nearly loose my life choking on a chunk of Oreo!! After a what seems like forever but was really like 20 minutes we are finished and ready to go home and die. As soon as i stand up i yell (maybe a little to loud) "Oh my gosh get me to a grassy patch its coming up!" As i am running out the door struggling to keep the contents of my stomach down, i grab my bottle of water and start rinsing out my mouth because the taste of the ice cream is just making it worse. We get to the truck and i lay the seat down and roll the windows down before i climb in. Once we are in the truck laying there feeling like we are going to die i reach over and grab helenamarie83 hand and we are both just so sick and exhausted. As i have tears rolling down my face i look over and realize that she is sobbing as well. Neither one of us can believe that we used to do this to our bodies EVERY SINGLE DAY and not once did we feel sick like this. We then realized our plan had worked neither one of us ever wants to eat like this again and if you think about it we really didn't have an extreme amount of food, nothing more than we would have consumed at a party.

This is a lesson i wouldn't change for anything. It taught me that even with out the bypass these foods are not good for me and i certainly do not like the way they made me feel. I was up off and on all night long feeling like a rotter tiller was making its way through my intestines and just over all feeling sluggish all day from eating so poorly. I am glad that i now know that i am not missing out on anything Well except for gas, the runs, nausea, and fatigue. I would 100% recommend doing this to someone who fears they might miss certain foods after surgery and might not be strong enough to handle life with out them.

[HelenaMarie83 74]

I never expected it to be such an emotional experience for me. As I lay in the truck sobbing, I finally understood how I had been treating myself. I had gorged myself my whole life on disgusting junk food and while, for the most part, I never felt that way before, I could see the toll it had forced my body to pay. I'm fat, I have gallstones, my knees hurt, and the depression that I have experienced has been truly profound.

I feel so sorry for this beautiful girl whom I repeatedly abused with fast food, sweets, and emotional eating. Instead of loving myself, I loved food. Instead of bring my own friend, I confided in French fries and burgers. When I had accomplished something in my life, food was there to give me a greasy high five. What a horrible frenemy food became. As I "rewarded" myself with food, food was digging a deeper (and wider) grave.

I am ready for this life saving operation. I can't wait till my body reflects all these changes I've been making. I'm grateful and blessed to have MexicanGirl to go through it with me.

[DLCoggin 1,788]

Ladies, I've been on Bariatric Pal for quite a long time. I've certainly read thousands, if not tens of thousands, of posts. Out of all of that material, I've never read anything quite like your story. This is an amazing learning experience and one that I'm sure will be repeated by others. Well done and thank you for sharing!

[Baconville 578]

WOW! That was some night and some lesson learned! Thank you for sharing your story. I am only 11 months out from surgery and have found success beyond my wildest dreams. One thing I fear is that it will all be lost and I will fall back into old habits and will one morning wake up where I was a year ago. Your story gives me hope that it will never happen! I feel too good living my new lifestyle to EVER go back to the old one. I have great tools and a support system now that will help me stay here. LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN BETTER!!

Best wishes to both of you as you prepare for your surgeries. Life on the other side just gets better and better.

Carol

[HelenaMarie83 74]

Thanks for your kind words!

We felt sick all day yesterday. This morning I finally felt good. I had a beautifully balanced Breakfast and the difference is astounding. I have energy, I feel good. I'm at work with a pep in my step. I know part of that is from my new found confidence in my ability to change my life. I feel like a bench mark in my new attitude towards food has been reached.

[cutiepieinchi 158]

This is one of the most amazing posts I've ever read on here! I laughed,I cried..I related to it all. Thank you ladies so much for this.

[Mexicangirl 21]

While i was writing this i wasnt sure how honest to be but i figured i better lay it all out there and let people know just how crazy those 6 hours were and what we went through just by eating our normal meals