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OK, how do you handle these kinds of situations?



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I've been going to Water exercise classes for about six months now. Well, I made a friend there. She's a very nice lady and we get along nicely. So, last night we walked out together and we had been discussing some discomfort I have in the hip area. Most of you know that I've gone through major surgery to replace the hip joints and while I am doing unbelievably better, I still have some residual issues that cause me pain.

Anyway, like I said, we were walking and Barbara says to me that she also has aches and pains and it worries her because she sees someone like me who is thin and still has issues and she is bigger than me so it worries her. I hesitated...thinking what do I tell her? I really didn't want to give her the 'I was morbidly obese' story. Not because I'm embarrased, but because I'm done with the fat me. I buried her even though she still lives in my head (and I'm working on getting her out of there as well).

I finally decided to tell her that I lost weight to better my chances of success when I had the hips replaced. I didn't go into details..and didn't tell her I'm half my size. But I'd like to know how the rest of you handle situations where you have lost a significant amount of weight and you have met people who didn't know you before. I'm not talking about romantic relationships....that's for another thread. I'm just talking about people who you've gotten to know post weight loss.

People see me now and just assume this is the way I've always looked. I like that....it tells me that I've moved on and am leaving the fat me behind. But what do I do when my size does come up in conversation as it did last night?

Anybody else out there who went through something similar and have some advice on how to handle this?

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Hmmmmmmmm.................interesting question ! I think that you handled it very well, and while you dont "owe" anybody a backstory on your former size, it is part of your past journey. Being that your friend was discussing weight and hip problems , and you have that experiance in your own life, I think you could share your past and how you solved some of it with WLS. You are a great role model for others that are trying to lead a healthier life by getting a stronger , healthier body, wheather it was done by WLS or not. As far as people whom ive met after WLS . ? If the conversation warrants it, I say one sentance and drop it. If they are curious and ask a ? or 2, im happy to share. If not, we move on.

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I ran into a similar situation except in my scenario, it was someone I've known a very long time who is a little more obese than I was . I see her bout every 3 - 4 months on special occasions. She always compliments my wt loss and asks me what I'm doing and I give her the spiel about eating right and exercising yadayadayada. Anyway, one day I noticed the sad look in her eyes when she was telling me about how she'd lose just to regain and gain more than she lost and exercise was hard due to her weight and she had no energy and hated how she looked and felt. I told her bout my surgery, swore her to secrecy as I still have no intention of sharing it with my hubby's family and that's who she is close to. She's making plans for WLS in the near future. Made me feel good that my journey might help her.

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I think you did the right thing. That fat girl is a person of the past. Why have new people in your life know you as a former fat person when you have worked so hard?

Sandy M - I think you did the right thing too.

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