Banders #6

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Zumba kicked my ass. My knees, to be precise. If I do it again it will be the Zumba Gold class instead, which is supposed to be less intense on the joints. And I am hopelessly uncoordinated.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Oh I am in pain today. No more Zumba for me. Knees couldn't handle the twisting and lunging and bouncing. The good thing is one person in the class told me about deep Water floating something or other (running?) at a local park district. You wear a flotation belt and your feet don't the touch bottom of the pool, but you are in motion and working all the muscles. Gonna check it out. Fasting today for Ash Wednesday coincides nicely with my post-fill liquids for 48 hours. Hope everyone has a great day!

[gowalking 10,790]

@JustWatchMe....I swear by deep Water exercising. My Monday Water exercise class instructor does that for the first half hour. She's the one who told me jokingly to gain some weight because the float belt wasn't tight enough because I was too small. I like that she thinks I'm too thin. I'm not, but I like to hear stuff like that. You know my history with the knees and hips and water exercise is the best thing. It's a workout but in the water, you are bouyant and you won't get hurt.

Liz

[lisacaron 5,075]

Thought I would pop in today for a sanity check. I feel as though I have lost my sanity somewhere along the way these last few weeks....I don't think being crazy is as good as being ignorant especially since ignorance is bliss right?

Remember how great it was when you were a kid and you just didn't "know" so you just did and learned? We didn't have stress we didn't have worry life was simple. I miss those days...and I feel the need to make a few days just that. Simple.

Which is no easy feat let me tell you. I am still working out the logistics of how I am going to pull that one off...but I am starting in small increments.

I read an article the other day about Intimacy without responsibility. OK ok NO it wasn't about sex ala 50 shades of Grey get your mind out of the gutter!

It was about being in a relationship without having to take responsibility for the other persons actions/in action. It kind of had me thinking, because I am one of those people who always feel the need to take over, jump in and save the day. I do it nearly unconsciously sometimes I will admit even unsolicited I will stick my big nose in. I realize that sometimes people just want to be heard and validated and not necessarily "fixed".

Then of course there are the abusers, those who can't make a move without being told what to, how to do it, when and where. I think that they are in need and really they are just manipulating me to get things done that they could do themselves and for themselves.

They don't take the responsibility rather they choose someone they can blame and that person (me) now has double the angst from doing work that was intended for them to do in the first place and from the "reprimand" when it's not good enough or worse too good.

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions right? I think I'm on the road (Call the fire house!)!!

So how do you know when you are going too far? When you should allow another to fall so they can learn their own lessons? It's not an easy answer and I find that it's even more difficult when the people you have to let fall and get hurt are your children.

However...at the expense of losing yourself...and all that you could do, might be doing if not for being occupied with someone else lessons...you have to let go.

Yes that means scraped knees, bloody noses, broken bones and worse. (yes I am dealing with worse right now) and I realized that I have to let go.

I have to firm up what I need and right now that is a little more simplicity in my life. That means taking the drama down and reclaiming my space. I realize it's not all going to happen over night but yesterday I made a big step.

I had an awesome Valentines Day, my hubby truly spoils me and I love it love it love it. He makes up for all the disappointment I may have had in the past, and once I let that all go that's when this gem found it's way into my life!!

So...for me it's all about getting back to basics, taking the simplest path of least resistance and letting go!!

How about you?

[gowalking 10,790]

You're awesome Lisa. I have a bit of an idea what you may be dealing with at the moment. Just know that I'm thinking of you and hoping things settle down soon for you and Ken.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Lisa, you're amazing. It's so hard when it's your kids. Day by day with the help of my CoDa group, I'm learning how to let go of controlling everyone around me. It never worked anyway. Why is it so hard and scary? Because we love them. We want to spare them pain. Well we can't. All we can really do is love them and be there for them emotionally. They need to do for themselves. And sometimes fall down.

Ah, listen to me, talking like I've figured it out. Ha. I wish.

[enjoythetime 1,457]

You're not alone on your journey of learning to let go. This is something I've really focused on since the day I got my surgery. It's a daily struggle. Speaking only for myself I think my whole need to be control over everything spiked while I was working on eating my way to the heaviest weight of my life. I found it was much easier to try and control EVERYTHING and EVERYONE around me then it was to control myself from eating. It took the focus off of me and my inability to control myself. Now that I've regained control of myself and my eating I'm struggling to let go of everything else around me. Does this even make sense to anyone????

For me control also ='s passion, care and fear all in one package. I feel like if I take control of everything it shows everyone in my life how much I care; and the fear is if I don't take control what will happen will it be mistake as me not giving a damn. The only problem regardless of what I'd like to think, is that I'm not in control of anything or anyone. So why can't I let it go?????? I'm really working on it.

Lisa, I can hear how much care and passion you have when you get on this board and offer your honest advice! It's wonderful! You're wonderful!

Should I break out into the Frozen Let it go song now:-)

Edited February 19, 2015 by enjoythetime

[lisacaron 5,075]

Thank you all for the awesome responses! I needed to read those @@enjoythetime I feel very much like Elsa right now let me tell you! I think out of all the Disney Princesses she is the one that is the closest to my personality!!

Yes I can be the Snow Queen, but I do have a very warm heart!! Though I have to tell you I am NOT a fan of this cold and ice, so I can't say that the cold never bothered me it's driving me insane! Though with a nice warm coat and a scarf to cover my face I'm good

How is everyone fairing in this miserable weather?

Edited February 20, 2015 by lisacaron

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

TGIF everyone. I haven't been responding but I have been reading. BOSTON Sucks this winter. The wind chill today is below zero, again. No snow today but it's coming tomorrow and rain Sunday. Weird weather. CG has single digit temps today, too. Maybe she misses living in Minnesota and freezing her ass off. The snow in front of my townhouse unit is over 15' high. When you go to leave my condos you pray you don't get hit because the mounds are over 12' and it's a busy street.

I hope no one lost heat during this deep freeze. I once lost electric for about 1 hour. Living in a condo, we have under ground electric but it was a town thing.

My husband is disabled but helps a friend and drives limo and thank G-d he is driving a huge SUV because the roads are bad every where. It has an automatic starter and that helps. He has a ton of health issues and one is he has no feelings in his feet and lower legs. He can;t tell if he's cold or not there. It sucks. But with his twenty something pills a day, he is alive.

Everyone stay warm and be safe. Enjoy your weekends.

Arlene

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Freezing but ok here in Chicago.

[enjoythetime 1,457]

I'm sooo over winter! The cold the snow, it knows where it can go:-) It took me 3x as long to get home last night because we got a whoppin' 1" of snow. Those poor people in Boston is all I can say.

This cold weather really makes my port hurt(is this weird??) and I can't get warm no matter how many layers I have on. It's crazy. I just keep telling myself 4 more weeks, you can do this.

Ready for sun, fun and 90!!!!

[gowalking 10,790]

Single digits here in the frozen big apple today. I have a friend in Boston Arlene and I know just how bad it's been for you guys. Hang in there everyone. Talked to mom earlier today and it's 45 in Miami. I know that doesn't sound terrible but it's really cold for South Florida.

Went to dinner last night with a man I met online. We had Chinese food and then went across the street to the French Bistro for coffee and dessert. My date kept commenting on how little I was eating and I kept explaining to him that I liked to eat as much as the next person but I needed to limit my intake because I had to keep as much excess weight off my joints as possible. We had a nice time and actually laughed when he said taking me to dinner was a total waste of money since I ate so little. We're going out again tomorrow night to a piano bar he likes to go to. Glad this place has nothing to do with food this time...lol.

[Sharpie 3,306]

I don't like to complain about the weather especially to all of the Northern friends. It is cold here in Fla. too . It was 24 this morning and that is pretty cold for us. supposed to be 18 in the AM. yes I am pretty tired of having to wear layers of clothes but we don't have snow and ice to contend with and I can get out . Liz I am glad you are enjoying your dating life. It's great to have someone to share meals and conversation, etc. Please everyone in these really cold and snowy areas be careful. Have a wonderful weekend if you can.

[Sharpie 3,306]

okay my banded veterans, I am perplexed. I am trying to stay around 1100 calories a day. somedays however I am short in the Protein dept so I'm not losing much at all. I am close to goal but would like to lose a little more than goal. yesterday while out with my granddaughter we ate at Red Robin , I had a half of a blta croissant, and a small cup of clam chowder. Then I made a Protein shake with vanilla Protein powder, silk almond milk and a few strawberries. My Breakfast was a egg and 1 piece of bacon.. so I went over or close to my 1100 calories but had good protein.. I lost 1.5 lbs? how does that happen? maybe I'm not eating enough Protein ? I don't use Protein shakes much but Im thinking it might be good to get enough protein that way.

[enjoythetime 1,457]

@@Sharpie at my last dr. Visit she told me if you want to loss more weight bump up your Protein. I told her I always get berween 60-80g per day and strive for 80, she still said to bump it up if I wanted to lose. So I would start with more protein and see where that takes you. Hope this helps a little!!