Banders #6

[MarieMarie 346]

Lovely colours help. The heavier I am the more I stick to black. Love your colourful top

[lisacaron 5,075]

So I spent some time at the hair salon yesterday and decided it was time for some exciting change to my blond locks and decided to add in some {{red}} and some {{burgundy}} low lights!

It's a bit bold...but it's FUN!!! Boy does my hair dresser love challenges and none of them are pink!

I realize that I look pretty darn tired..but hey it was 11 PM I was tired!!

Edited January 30, 2015 by lisacaron

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Beautiful!!! Love the color and the cut!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

I need some emotional support, friends. Going to a friend's mom's wake after work with my own mom.

After that, Mom and I are going to dinner and we will talk. She's been very upset and angry because my divorce discovery process requires me to produce three years of bank statements on all accounts on which I was a signer in any way. This means all the accounts my mom has where I was or am the second signer in case anything ever happened to her. Basically everything she has.

She's furious and lashing out at me because her privacy is being violated due to my divorce. She hasn't spoken to me all week until today because we have this wake to attend.

I called my lawyer to ask again if her account statements were necessary and she said they absolutely are so that I comply with the discovery requirements and am not in contempt.

This is the kind of crap that makes divorce a living hell.

I'm just venting, but some cyber hugs would be really welcome today.

Those of you on the other side --- tell me again that this will someday be over. Please.

[lisacaron 5,075]

@@JustWatchMe {{{{{sending you some hugs!!!}}}}} Yes it will all be over and done with soon...but your ex is a real D-bag for forcing you to go through all this!

The thing you can secure your Mom about is that no one but the lawyers and the judge need to see those statements or information and it should be kept confidential since she did not marry this person he has no right to know her business!

Make sure you secure that with your lawyer and ensure that she shares the information only with the court and protects your mothers right to privacy.

Also make sure the lawyer stresses to the judge that you are an in case of emergency signer and not a part of the account. That you don't contribute to it or draw from it as income in any way.

Tell your Mom to be nice to you, and supportive of your new life as you are of her. If you weren't supportive of her you would not be on her accounts to begin with.

{{{{love to you}}}}

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

I need some emotional support, friends. Going to a friend's mom's wake after work with my own mom.

After that, Mom and I are going to dinner and we will talk. She's been very upset and angry because my divorce discovery process requires me to produce three years of bank statements on all accounts on which I was a signer in any way. This means all the accounts my mom has where I was or am the second signer in case anything ever happened to her. Basically everything she has.

She's furious and lashing out at me because her privacy is being violated due to my divorce. She hasn't spoken to me all week until today because we have this wake to attend.

I called my lawyer to ask again if her account statements were necessary and she said they absolutely are so that I comply with the discovery requirements and am not in contempt.

This is the kind of crap that makes divorce a living hell.

I'm just venting, but some cyber hugs would be really welcome today.

Those of you on the other side --- tell me again that this will someday be over. Please.

that doesn't sound fair about your mother. I was on my parent's account and it had nothing to do with me. Also, I have a mentally challenged brother and his SS check and account are in my name and it does not effect me at all. I hope your mother understands it helps you. Good luck.

Arlene

[Kitt3000 757]

I remember this happening with an account I was a co signer on for my soldier son, I helped take care of bills for him whenever he was away. He was never married but seeking joint custody of his handicapped daughter. I was so happy we never put my husband on that account, he would have been just as angry as your mom. Not because he is hiding anything, but because of the lawyer hours it would have accumulated as well as time of key personnel in his corporation. Wasted money, wasted time. If your mom has not been exposed to the legal system recently, you are her only target. So sorry for both of you. An initial apology to her from you, will go a long way towards soothing a bad situation. If it was in your control, it would not be happening. I'm sure you both feel badly and resent the outside intrusion. Hang in there lady! Some days you just have to listen and let it roll off...

[Julie norton 2,850]

I'm sorry you have more grief. Divorce is painful. Losing an older friend hurts a lot too. But now to have to reveal private info. How dreadful. I like lisacaron advice about the privacy issue. And DO remember why you cannot live with this man anymore....

Sigh. Wish your mom could remember why also. You need some things now from her..... (Love support and documents)Most likely she will at some time need you too down the rocky road of life????

[gowalking 10,790]

Thanks for the advice friends. I saw my PCP today and she agreed that another ounce of Protein at dinner is a good idea. She also has told me that I shouldn't lose any more weight at this point. Some of this is psychological as well. More to talk to the therapist about..lol.

Lisa...your hair looks great. I had mine colored yesterday...same brown as always. I'm not nearly as adventurous as you.

Justwatchme...I'm so sorry this is such a difficult time for you. I hope mom understands and comes around knowing you are doing what needs to be done to forge your new life.

Arlene...I've never heard of Biotin making you gain weight. All I know is that my hair has grown back since I've been on it and I'm so glad that horrible period seems to be over. Not good when your scalp is showing...

Have a great weekend everyone. I'm going to my son tomorrow to see ultrasound pics of the baby. April can't come fast enough for me. I just cannot wait to hold my grandson in my arms.

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

My Mother divorced my Father when I was 17 but when it came time to bury his drunk butt my brother & I had to do the arrangements because they were divorced even though she had to pay for everything & wasn't even able to attend because in some papers it said for her not to be there what kind of S___ is that & she still took care of him till the end , hope it gets better , what's the saying it gets worse before it gets better .

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

Thanks for the advice friends. I saw my PCP today and she agreed that another ounce of Protein at dinner is a good idea. She also has told me that I shouldn't lose any more weight at this point. Some of this is psychological as well. More to talk to the therapist about..lol.

Lisa...your hair looks great. I had mine colored yesterday...same brown as always. I'm not nearly as adventurous as you.

Justwatchme...I'm so sorry this is such a difficult time for you. I hope mom understands and comes around knowing you are doing what needs to be done to forge your new life.

Arlene...I've never heard of Biotin making you gain weight. All I know is that my hair has grown back since I've been on it and I'm so glad that horrible period seems to be over. Not good when your scalp is showing...

Have a great weekend everyone. I'm going to my son tomorrow to see ultrasound pics of the baby. April can't come fast enough for me. I just cannot wait to hold my grandson in my arms.

I was at the hospital today for PT and saw my original dietitian and asked her about Biotin. She said that is so wrong about gaining weight. She is the head of the hospital and I believe her. Also i told her I placed my order with Bariatric Advantage and told her I hated the chewable Calcium citrate and was going to try the crystals and she not to, they are not as good. Very interesting. Happy I saw her. I learned more from her than anyone else. My husband was very sick a few years ago and because of meds he had to take 6 insulin shots a day and she taught me about nutrition. So when I went to do WLS, I knew a real lot because of her.

Everyone have a great weekend.

Arlene

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Thank you all for your support. Mom and I had a good calm talk at the restaurant tonight and I started by apologizing for the havoc this divorce brought into all our lives. She was calm and listened. I explained that if there were any other way to do this I would, but I can't. My lawyer offered to talk to my mom and I told her that.

She seems to have mellowed a little bit since yesterday. I think it was going to the wake of my friend's mom and seeing some of my friends she hasn't seen in years. Everyone's older and it tends to bring back memories. Also, she was sitting with me when a couple of people were voicing support for my leaving NSETBEx. Because my friend was one of the besties who helped me move out of the house the day I filed, she had shared my story with her family who hasn't seen me in years. They were being encouraging and supportive, and my mom was sitting there listening to them call me "brave" and "strong". So by the time we left and went to dinner, I think she had a bit of a different outlook.

I also explained that the stress of worrying about this is starting to make me literally sick, and I have to find relief from it at some point or I'm going to go crazy.

I also pointed out that what other options did either one of us have? I'm the only one she could rely on to be on these accounts with her, and I can't stay married to him. So it is what it is. It's also apparently standard discovery procedure in most divorces. Maybe not friendly divorces, but definitely in contested ones.

She expressed her desire to see him "get what's coming to him", and I told her, truthfully, that I've moved past that feeling already. I just want him gone. I don't wish him ill or seek revenge. I just want this over (fairly) and done. God will sort it out in His time. Karma is real and I don't need to carry that around in my heart.

She's going to help me with the papers. We came home and watched Scandal together, and now I think I may actually get a good night's sleep for the first time in two weeks.

Thanks for the kind words and the advice. It really really helps.

[Kitt3000 757]

You just restored my faith in motherhood. No matter what age we are as mothers, we want what is best for our children. With everything banking being on line these days, it was quite simple to do an end of the year print out of all account information in a matter of minutes instead of digging through files. Also, as time goes by, each additional month will be required for discovery, so to save yourself grief, print them out each month until your divorce decree is finalized. Another tip, print out two copies, some lawyers have a nasty habit of "misplacing" documents that you've already given them, thereby delaying, re communicating, and your bill rises substantially . Sorry, they are in it to make money not expedite it. Best of luck to you, so happy you can stop stressing about this particular aspect, you have many good days coming, bad days as well but try to remember, this too shall pass. Hopefully soon, not two years later ( freaking lawyers)

[gowalking 10,790]

Enjoy your football parties today my friends. Eat smart and have a great time. As for me......I've got a date this afternoon. Met a new guy who cares as little as I do for the Superbowl so we're going to stroll around The Chelsea Market (where The food Network films) check out the shops and grab a bite or a cup of coffee depending on how it goes. We've had some very nice phone conversations so I'm looking forward to meeting him face to face.

[Julie norton 2,850]

How nice and fresh your life is turning out walker. What a difference WLS makes. Very happy