My AHA moment (Don't let them talk you out of it)

[SeaGirl 193]

I was discouraged from telling anyone about my surgery beforehand. At first, I told 2 or 3 people and got some pretty mixed reviews, so at the suggestion of my surgeons coordinator, I stopped telling anyone. I have a huge supportive family and another huge group of friends that have known and loved me for many years. For that I am super grateful. Of my family, I told one sister, and of the friends, I told 3 or 4. My husband was freaked out, but became more and more supportive in the months leading up to the surgery.

After surgery, as the weight started to come off, and people noticed, I started telling people, not only that I had had a surgical weight loss procedure, but that I had gone to Mexico to have the surgery done. I also told people I went alone. I only told people what they asked, so not everyone got all of the story. They all talk amongst themselves, so I figured they would all put it all together, or not. Anyway, I've been very open about the surgery.

Fast forward to now...nearly 10 months later, and I've been feeling a little guilty for not telling all of my loved ones before I headed over the border for a huge life-changing surgery. I have been thinking about how I would feel if my Mom or Dad, one of my kids, or a sister did the same thing. I also have heard the opinions of others, that "she wasn't really that big" or "she really didn't need to do that". I've let it mess with my mind a little.

This weekend it's all come full circle...My husband is laid up after having a knee replacement and we have numerous flower beds and a veggie garden. I've never been much for taking care of them in the past, because it seems like just looking at a rake would make my back go out and make me fully crooked for the better part of the following week. I couldn't get down on all fours and work, then get back up very easily, and I would just get too tired. This weekend I dug grass and weeds, as well as fully dug, tilled and replanted 2 perennial beds. Hubbie was there to help a little, but for the most part it just drove him nuts to not be able to do much. Anyway, I have spent hours this spring in the gardens and finally, all I have left to do this Memorial Day is mow the lawn.

My feet don't hurt, my back doesn't hurt, I can get down on the ground and back up without a second thought, over and over again. I can run and grab something that my husband hints at, because a hint is a sure sign that he's going to go get the tool on his own, and he just shouldn't do that yet. Then I can cook all the meals, clean up, do laundry and all the rest, all in the same day....WOW!!

It took me the better part of 5 years to put on the extra 85-90 lbs. I kept it on for 20+ years. Yes I looked ok, my health hadn't completely deteriorated, but was moving that direction. I look around and I see that having 30 -50 extra pounds is pretty normal for women my age. Still, the negative self-talk and the fear of diabetes, a heart attack or stroke were ruling my life and making me sick mentally and emotionally. Never in those 25+ years could I have known how much of an energy suck the extra weight had become. How while I tried to be normal, riding 50+ mile bike rides, hiking, skiing, playing softball on rec teams, I was working many times harder than the more normal weight men and women around me.

Now I'm glad I took the advise of my coordinator and only told those closest to me. If any of the others had talked me out of doing it, I would have never known. I would be sitting on my porch, looking at my overgrown gardens, watching TV and wishing I had moved forward with the surgery.

Make sure the surgery is the right thing for you, and go for it, don't look back. You deserve to feel great, to look great, and to give your family your very best, which I now know was impossible before the surgery.

[time2 5]

How wonderful. I look forward to moving without pain. My surgery will be next July (insurance 12 month wait). I love flowers but live in OK where the heat is brutal. I do have a very small perennial bed and reading your post reminded me that I need to deadhead some rose and weed a little bit. The flowerbed is elevated and there is no hard bending. I look forward to moving without thinking about it! What a lifestyle changed you are experiencing.

I am not telling my 85 year old dad who lives back East as he loves me just the way I am and would not understand how the sleeve works. He is and has always been a thin person and sees weight loss as a will power thing.

I am spending the next year saving ideas that I have read about what to eat afterward (and what to take to the hospital for surgery). I think my hardest part will be what I have read entitled as head hunger (your stomach isn't hungry but your head tells you it wants to eat). No more food channel shows as I think they prompt me to eat!

Right now I weight 236 (and am 5 ft. 4 inches tall)...with one year to attend nutrition meetings, I have a fear that I might reach 180 and my insurance will not approve the surgery. This is so strange being afraid to lose too much weight in order to get surgery to lose weight!

Thank you for all the words that you are giving to us pre-op folks!

[cejiogu 182]

If anything the surgery helped me lose the weight but will also help me keep it off. I am 13 months out now. I lost 135 lb and have been in maintain mode since January. I thought I could lose the weight but just as easily put it back on. Now I really would have to work to eat wrong and put it back. I can eat anything I want just in little bits. Hang in there and keep up th faith!

[gowalking 10,790]

I loved reading your story. It's all about the little things...or for us, the big things. I was in very bad shape when I got banded. I needed both hips replaced and I had no choice but to lose the weight. I couldn't walk a block without having to sit. I used a cane...and I'm sure because your husband had a knee replacement, you know what it's like to need a sock aid just to put on socks, and to know that you can't get your legs over the tub to get into the shower. No sitting on the floor, no bending down...nothing.

Well, today I am walking...my forum name came true! I can move again, I fit anywhere, I cross my legs, put on my socks like everyone else, I do everything like everyone else. This surgery saved my life and that is my ah ha moment.

Edited May 26, 2014 by gowalking