Recently Lost a Best Friend Because of My Decision to Get Bariatric Surgery

[SherB 220]

OMG...If she was truly your friend she would not judge you so harshly. Dang...I want to curse but I wont. I am so sorry she is being a jerk. Take care of yourself and make your own decision. Your health is not in "her" hands.

[rose2014 81]

I was in shock when I read your SUPPOSE to be bff's blog. Your friendship should NOT be based on what lifestyle choices you make for your life. WL surgery is NOT cosmetic! Insurances do not cover cosmetic surgery except for some exceptions. Supportive friends is what you need and here you have found. I am 4 days post-op from getting the lap band. The only people I told where the ones I knew would support me in my decision. One of my bff's told me I have encouraged her to do something to improve her health. It hurts I am sure however, you are better off without that type of attitude and controlling issues. Best of luck to you as you proceed to better YOURSELF for YOU!!

Rose

[BigGirlPanties 957]

I have read most of these posts and am in totaly agreement about the type of "friend" she is and that you need to take care of YOU...

that being said... I read this on this sight in articles recently: (summed up)

*************************************************************************************

Obesity was classified as a disease in June 2013 by the AMA (etc)

* multi-metabolic and hormonal disease state

1. It impairs normal body functioning

2. It has a set of characteristics, signs, and symptoms

3. It decreases life expectancy

4. It can lead to harmful conditions, such as type 2 diabetes, hypertension, etc

5. It CAN BE a genetic disorder!

It is the number ONE killer ... so take care of YOU how you feel is best and let her go... you don't need that kind of negativity in your life...EVER... and for her to POST that about you...it leaves me speechless...

Best of luck to you...we are ALL behind you... take care!

[Writerjennifer 107]

I think I feel sorry for the kind of person who would just cut someone out of their life for something they thinks is an idealgoical difference. I have friends of the opposite political spectrum, skinny friends who are not only physically fit but have positive healthy behaviors (at odds at times with my bad ones), happily overweight people, and unhappily overweight people. None of them has expressed anything but support for my choice.

I'm sorry she has reacted this way. It's funny how people preach acceptance, until you have a different opinion from them.

*hugs* You will survive, thrive. She... well she can be happy being unhealthy. And all that B.S about 'body image'... leads me to believe she doesn't even believe it her self. I think she is jealous because she can't have the surgery herself. IMHO.

Be strong.

[ladyd728 106]

See how great this surgery is already. You are already losing dead weight and you haven't gone into the surgery room. She was never a real friend, a friend is there with you no matter what you are going to do. Hopefully she will come to her senses if she wants that title of a friend. If not move on, get over it and focus on becoming a better, healthier, happier person.

[jjinWA 511]

We all have family and friends that support us... And unfortunately we all have family and friends that are 'toxic." No one needs to assure you which category this friend is in. I learned a long time ago that keeping toxic people in my life is certain to cause me pain. Soooooo, since I am captain of my big girl pants ( as your friend so eloquently describes it) I cut the toxic people out of my life. I have enough stress in my life just from the trials and tribulations of normal everyday activities. Why would I voluntarily decide to add to that stress? Basically, deep down this friend is jealous and not at all concerned about you and your health and well being. Yup, sounds toxic to me. Seek those around you that support you and leave the others behind in the dust, and never look back. Look forward to your new healthy life!

[cutlass6521 126]

Yikes!!

Sounds like someone is a little jealous that you are taking control of your life.

Or, maybe, they are just a little shit house rat crazy.

[ekmw 56]

I'm going to be blunt and honest: Your friend sounds ignorant. If I had someone who wrote about me like this, I'd drop them so fast, their head would spin.

Obviously, your friend doesn't want you to improve your physical health, mental health, or life.

You can find a better best friend.

TBH, I can't really say how I truly feel about this, because every other word would be a curse word...

[greensleeve 457]

I lost friends and some family shunned me before surgery. % After surgery some frien% O I lost because I was losing weight and they weren't. The family that shunned me initially wanted the zzz zthers after surgery tell me "i'm too thin now." I am still over weight not by much but I eat and drink like I am supposed to. I got my surgery for health reasons and afor my life and to not die prematurely as , , did ",41 wbeings over weight and there is a long standing of heart issues in my family.

,

She doesn't sound like a friend at all to me, I'm sorry. .

She seems very insecure and selfish. She can go on about how healthy she is but you can't magically take away the stress on your joints. She might be young and it doesn't bother her yet but some day it will. It sounds like she is still recovering from her eating disorder and isn't stable enough to be a good friend.

I'm sorry but maybe you are better off without her in your life.

[ClareDale 2]

Wow, it thrilled me to read all of the responses. I really don't have anything to add; just that I'm glad to see the support that goes on here. I had so much I was going to say, until I read all the great responses.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

She made reddit:

http://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/27tgeu/selfish_friend_got_weight_loss_help/

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Wow. That individual clearly has issues. And she doesn't sound that bright, either. Obesity is a medical condition and complications from it can be life threatening and life limiting. Sorry you had to endure a self absorbed rant your expense. Hope she feels better about her own fat acceptance, now. This individual is missing the boat - your actions in no way are a judgement of her, yet she feels perfectly justified in judging you. I say good riddance. And I almost never say that.

[jamilyne 102668 1,207]

She made reddit: http://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/27tgeu/selfish_friend_got_weight_loss_help/

Her name is "infected scab" - enough said lol

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

Her name is "infected scab" - enough said lol

no, someone named "infected scab" submitted a screen shot of the blog post because its so ridiculous! did you read the comments?

Edited June 11, 2014 by moonlitestarbrite

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

The comments were great !!