Having Second Thoughts

[^Lolly^ 18]

OK. I think I must be crazy. I've been working toward the goal of weight loss surgery since January. Now that I have my surgery scheduled, I'm starting to second guess myself. Can I do this? Should I do this? Am I ever going to feel "normal" again afterwards? The list goes on. I think I must be out of my mind to do this, but then tell myself that I absolutely HAVE to do this for my health. I've done my research and understand that the first couple of weeks/months are going to be tough, but what if I never feel better. Anyone else out there have/had these same thoughts? Tell me how you got through this.

[thesuse2000 698]

I just had a moment with those thoughts tonight. Was drinking down some milky tea - my evening routine - and had a thought that I won't be able to take big gulps like that soon and thought "what am I doing to myself"?! But I quickly remembered all the reasons why I need this and why it will be better for me overall. But easy is one thing I know it won't be!

[butterfly2014 128]

Yes it will be tough the first couple of weeks but each day gets easier. I am 5 weeks postop and I am eating normal foods now, small portions of course and I get full with small amounts. I dont feel like Im starving and I dont regret the surgery not one bit. The best advice I can give you after you do the surgery is 3 main things, Water, Protein and walk walk walk. You will have alot of gas and walking helps alot.

Good Luck!

Edited May 26, 2014 by butterfly2014

[par1959 470]

I am in the same boat. Three days until surgery. My surgeon’s record is almost perfect. Only one leak in many year doing about 500 per year, never killed anyone. The pre-op liquid diet has made me drop many pounds fast, which makes me think I could do this on my own, but then reality sets in and I know I will over eat. Its just a matter of time. Then I start thinking about all the life style changes I will be committing too. How will I spend my now idle time when food isn’t part of the equation? How do I deal with social interactions without food and beverage? No more alcohol. Ouch

On the bright side getting my health back will be great. Everyone in my support group says you get more energy and feel much better fast. As you said a few weeks of struggle and everything should be better. I have to say everyone I have met that has had this surgery has enjoyed the benefits. Each one seems to have their own set of struggles, but they are content with their decision. It comes down to taking a leap of faith. If I make it though the surgery centers doors on Wednesday I will be asking for some pre-op drugs so that I dont turn and run. This is tough and I am scared.

.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Your "normal" changes and trust me, it's not bad.

I am no longer dominated by the thoughts of mass portions.
I no longer care where and when we go out out to eat.
I can eat a bite or two of whatever the heck I want and I am satisfied.
I make good choices 90% of the time because I am so freaking excited about my new body, I don't want to risk losing it.
I am thrilled beyond all explanation about how I look, feel, and what I can do now.

I may not be "normal" but no one really notices and my NEW normal rocks.

[mentalistfan 189]

I have been going back and forth about my decision...although I thought my decision was final in March...I'm hoping to have surgery this summer, I wish it would hurry so I can get it over with. I have come up with this conclusion, I know I will regret not having the surgery, I might or might not regret having surgery, so having the surgery seems right. I'm tired of eating too much if you want the truth. I hate overeating, I feel bad after I do. I guess it's emotional or out of boredom, who knows. My stomach is big, I hate it, I want it flat! My rant for the day.

Edited May 26, 2014 by mentalistfan

[Harley59 67]

I will share with you that I had the same thoughts and feelings. Started second guessing but then 5 days before my surgery, CIGNA denied me !! I was crying and heart broken. I had to fight to get my approval and I did. April 8th I had my sleeve done. It was in that moment, that I knew win or lose, I wanted to have this done. It made sense to me that my stomach was too big and that is why diets didn't work. I did exercise too but I could never get the eating and exercise together. If I exercised - I was extra hungry. If I dieted, as soon as I had eaten something "normal", on went 3 -5 lbs. Something was wrong with my system. Well, I am 7 weeks out and doing great. I followed all the rules. Only ate what they told me too, when they told me too and now - I steadily lose 2 lbs a week and I don't even feel like I am trying. I walk but nothing hard. That will come in time because I want too be healthier all the way around. Some people don't have an easy time of it but go and look at the posts of people that are 6 months to 1 year, 2 years out. Not many people regret it. I don't think it would be normal if we weren't scared. We are changing are bodies and we know that there are some people that want us not to succeed but I am out to prove them wrong and show that this is the best surgery for people that struggle with their weight. Good luck and I will be watching to see how you make out

[sleeversue 93]

It's normal to question your decision, but you will never regret it. I am so glad I went through with my surgery. Once you get through the first three days, things improve every day. I can not believe how great I feel at 5 days post-op. I have fibromyalgia, which causes a lot of fatigue and i have had no problems. I am actually up and walking more than in years. You feel so hopeful!! The important thing... stay calm and try your best to walk in peace. I had a few knots in my stomach here and there, but I would give myself a body hug, take some deep breaths and try my best to relax.

[InfiniteButterfly 438]

I think everyone has a moment of self-doubt pre-surgery. I know I did. The "am I doing the right thing" and "What if I exercise more?" But the reality is, I was doing 10k steps daily, riding my bike, exercising a lot. And all it did was make me hungry. I couldn't get the hang of eating right at that level of exercise. I have been on so many failed diets, and always the hunger got me.

Granted, at 11 days post-op, I am not up to my previous levels of exercise...but I should hit them this week (I'm at 6k steps now). And I'm learning the hunger cues I do have now are generally "Hey Stupid, drink your water!" I don't get the wrenching hunger I used to after walking. I don't get the wrenching hunger at all. Sometimes a little head hunger...but it's tolerable.

I'm glad I fought through the self-doubt and went through with it. It is, without a doubt, the best decision I've ever made, for myself, for my family. The self-doubt hit especially strong a few times during the pre-surgery liquid diet, when I started dropping pounds and got to a lighter point than I've been at for several years. But the reality is, I yo-yo. I wouldn't be able to maintain it without taking a drastic step. And I'm so glad I did

[LivingFree! 478]

It would not be normal if you WEREN'T having these "second thoughts." This is a huge life decision (up there with the biggest you'll ever make). I attend a lot of support groups and the statement that people make most often is that if they had to do it all over again, they would absolutely do it in a heartbeat! Yes, you see and read about a lot of struggles here that many of us go through in the first few weeks/months, but there is a wonderfully amazing, healthy life just around the corner!

You will come to the best and right decision for you.

[snochick2005 172]

I was second guessing my decision right up until they put me under in the OR... Second guessing is completely normal! I had a dream the night before where I actually ran out of the OR. I'm so glad I didn't change my mind! I've had moments where I've thought this sucks or why did I do this to myself... However everything other minute trumps those moments. All the successes and things I can do now that I could before makes me glad I kept my butt on the OR table!

[^Lolly^ 18]

Thanks everyone! It was very helpful to read all of the comments. Thank God for this forum. Still nervous, but this is something I have to do for myself and my health!

[karinbuck 42]

There is a book called The Emotional First Aid Kit. A practical guid to life after Bariatric Surgery. The first chapter is all about making the decision to have surgery. I hope it helps. :-)

[penman53 493]

I remember the day I was going to surgery. I woke up and my wife asked me if I was ready. I told her that I was ready to lose weight so I could be around to take care of her and my family. That I was ready to lose weight to get my kidney and heart functions normal again. I also said that I was ready to get my diabetes under control and be able walk, exercise and tie my shoes again. I was also ready to lose the chronic back and knee pain. So the doc came into my room and asked me "are you ready to have your surgery" and answered him with hell yes let's get this show on the road. I have never every looked back. No regrets just thanks for giving me my life back.

Good luck in your decision, Mark

[ilovenyc 0]

I felt the exact same way. I freaked out the weeks before surgery and my fear got intense closer to the date. The day before I was still not sure if I would actually go through with it. I looked for every excuse not to have the surgery.

In the end, I went for a long walk and decided that I wanted this weight battle and food obsession to end. I made a list of all the diets and all the weight losses and regains and one last list of pro/cons. I decided maybe I could loose the weight on my own but where would I be in five years? Would I regain the weight and more? I decided to just do it. I talked to so many people who didn't regret it and are having great success. It's only a tool but with some good effort you can do it once and for all!

The surgery was really easy for me, very little pain and drinking wasn't hard at all. The first day was hard bur really after that I was fine.