What a strange trip this is - surgery 5-29

[hrhlaurie 185]

Every day I think about my surgery and alternate between relief that it is almost here and doubt that I'm doing the right thing. I tell myself that cutting away most of a perfectly normal organ is no big deal and the surgery is pretty routine by now. Then I wonder what my new normal will feel like once I get through my recovery period. I think that is the part that causes the most anxiety for me; who will I be once the majority of the weight loss is past and the novelty has worn off? Will I have some kind of normal life or will I never feel like myself again? Does anyone else feel like this?

Then I kick myself because I've been working towards this surgery since last Nov so I'm going to make it work and try not to worry about possible future anxiety. I dont know if anyone else did this, but during my 6 months of supervised weight loss, I didn't take it seriously at first, and considered it just part of the hoops I had to jump through for insurance. I gained a few pounds here and there and got a serious warning after the surgery class at the hospital where they told us that weight gain at this time could be grounds for a denial. I began my diet and managed to drop 10 pounds by my final doctor appt but I was worried before that weigh-in.

Now I'm 3 days in to my pre-surgery diet and I got a bit of a late start due to work travel. I missed the first 3 days of my diet but have been determined to make it up since the goal is to have a less fatty liver so no cheating during these 7 days. I thought this would be harder but I'm doing pretty well I think. I can't take some of my Vitamins but I'm not as hungry as I thought I'd be. I think I've sort of psyched myself into this liquids and one small meal zone so that food isn't really an issue for now. Feels like that could change any time but I'll take my victories where I find them. Went to dinner with my family last night, an italian place, but I was up to the challenge. I would rather get creative with menu choices than tell my husband no dinners out. We all needed this time to hang out together. I ordered a half-size spinach salad with grilled chicken and skipped the bread and I felt great and salad was good. After surgery I'm taking two weeks off from eating out at restaurants but pre-surgery I have more menu options.

I think this is the point where some might be tempted to cancel surgery because weight loss is going well. Did anyone cancel their surgery less than a week out? This must be diet amnesia because I'm sure we've all been on diets where we lost and gained it back. I know that I couldn't sustain this forever on my own and would invent a reason not to continue with a diet (vacation, stress at work, travel, family issues, etc) I think the success of this surgery is that we don't have to worry about weak willpower and failure. I'm lucky that I don't really have a sweet tooth but I'll probably have a pizza or burrito attack at some point. Right now, I'm living on every type of low or no sugar drinks and Atkins shakes. I like the Atkins shakes but I need to remember to order the powders? utm_source=BariatricPal&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=CommentLink" target="_ad" data-id="1" >unjury Protein for after surgery...

What sustains me are the success stories here where so many have lost weight and feel great. All of the medical statistics in the world can't compete with these real-life stories and I thank you all for sharing. I'm trying to keep up with this tradition and promise full disclosure along the way. My pre-op appt. is this Wed and surgery Thurs. Strangly, after reading other stories, I'm most worried about the gas pains! I wonder how soon after surgery I can drive and will feel like going out. I haven't seen many details so would love to hear what I might expect.

I'm hoping for another significant weight loss this Wed and will share my experience. To those just starting out, hang on, it's a bit of an emotional roller coaster!

[Bufflehead 6,358]

There are some people who cancel right before surgery because they are doing so well and believe they can do it on their own. And you know what? I've been around this forum long enough to see what happens . . . they come back six months later and post something like this:

I'm starting all over with my surgery process. I thought I could do this on my own (or: I got a terrible case of nerves or: a black cat crossed my path on the way to the hospital and I thought God was sending me a signal not to have surgery - you get the picture) and now I've re-gained all the pre-op weight I lost plus put on another thirty pounds . . . I wish I hadn't canceled etc. etc.

Last minute jitters and doubts and episodes of magical thinking of "hey I can do this on my own" (despite a lifetime of evidence to the contrary) are perfectly normal. Keep reminding yourself of why you need and want to have this surgery, and all the positive outcomes you can expect.

A couple of quick bits of advice -- not that you asked -- I would give yourself longer than two weeks away from restaurants after your surgery, and I would order a bunch of different samples and starter kits of different Protein brands so that you can decide what you like after surgery before committing to a particular brand or flavor. Unjury is great and their chocolate Splendor has been a mainstay for me in my almost-year after surgery, but I didn't order a full tub until I tried it after surgery.

Good luck!

[LivingFree! 478]

I applaud you for examining your "second thoughts" about having surgery. I think most of us have those thoughts at least some time along our decision process. This is a huge change in lifestyle and eating habits for the rest of your life. What it comes down to though, is that the sleeve does not do the work, WE are the ones who have to work the sleeve. The sleeve does not give us "willpower." (As our bariatric therapists always say in our support groups, the surgeons operate on our stomachs, not on our brains!) For me, the most challenging part has been learning to change my lifelong relationship with all the unhealthy, fattening food that I ate to comfort me whenever "life" happened. And all of those stressors of life definitely still happen (and more) AFTER surgery, just like before. The BEST part of this process has been the satisfaction that I have CHOSEN to now live my life making HEALTHY CHOICES about what I eat. Yes, the sleeve has helped me do that, but doing the "head work" has also been a big part of this process.

I agree with Bufflehead. You're better off not buying too much of any kind of Protein at first because your taste buds sometimes are a little wacky at first. Same with eating out. You can control what you're eating a lot better when you are preparing your food at home, especially until you get back to eating normal foods (most programs not 'til 6 wks?).

Congrats on your upcoming surgery on Thursday!

[lylabelle 257]

Hi hrhlaurie,

I'm having surgery Friday. I've thought about not doing it exactly once. And remembered that I'm here at 34 and have spent my whole life dieting and I am SOOOO over the roller coaster! There is a group of us having surgery the end of the week over in the pre-op area. Come join us, and it will be easier to have other people going through the exact same things at the exact same time! There are 3 others having surgery the same day as you. There are other nervous people in there too

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/308478-may-28-31st-sleevers/page-7

[hrhlaurie 185]

Thanks for the support and Protein powder advice, it is much appreciated. I hadn't thought much about changing taste buds and don't want to waste money or time. I'll delay going out to dinner for several weeks but when do you think I'll feel comfortable enough to drive or at least go out?

Every day I think of something new I need to focus on, like will I remember to not drink before and after I eat when I'm so used to drinking with my meals? Can I walk several blocks a week after surgery or will I be too weak or in pain? Hard to imagine now but a week from now I will be 3 days post surgery and I'm still trying to imagine what that will look and feel like. Pain meds, gas, tiredness, sleeping, trying to drink enough Water...?

I'll go check out the other pre-surgeries this week, thanks!

[hrhlaurie 185]

I bought some more Protein powder but im drawing a blank on what I'll mix it with... pudding, applesauce? I'm having surgery day after tomorrow and not sure I'm prepared for the next phase.

Also, how soon can I go out in public and feel OK? Days or weeks?

[jesswls 17]

Hello hrhlaurie,

I am 6 days post op and all of the things you said described how I felt about a week before my surgery. Encouragement from my friends is what helped me to realize that I have always been able to do it on my own.. No problem. But guess what. I always gain it back. I am so glad I did not cancel the surgery. I am not going to lie. The first few days were pretty tough. I even cried a few times. But here I am only 6 days later and so so glad I did it. I am feeling better every day and I even ventured out to the Vitamin store today for some Isopure. I just had the guy carry the case out to my car. Haha. I think this surgery was the final missing tool I needed to finally be successful at losing weight and I wouldn't go back for any thing. I hope that helps. ❤️

[hrhlaurie 185]

Thanks for sharing, you are so right, I also can lose but always gain it back! Not this time!

Hey, guess what? This time when we lose weight, we can GET RID OF OUR FAT CLOTHES cause we won't be gaining it back! Woo-hoo!

[jesswls 17]

Heck yes! The day before my surgery I went through my closet and got rid of 3 bags of clothes. Out of season things that I know I will never ever put back on my body. Felt so good.

[hrhlaurie 185]

I bought more approved drinks and lots of different Protein powders. Met with doc today and we are good to go- checkin at 7 for 9 am surgery MST. Cant believe this day is here!

[jesswls 17]

Will be thinking of you!!! Hang in there!!

[hrhlaurie 185]

Surgery today and I slept on and off all day afterwards. I had some incision and gas pain but expected it. I used my pain pump sometimes and even managed to stand up and walk to the toilet but then the gas shifted and I felt nauseous and pain and had to sit. I managed to wall around the room a bit more amd the gas pain isn't too bad. My doc suctions it back out after surgery to try and minimize impact but I still burp frequently.

Now I'm sipping chicken broth from a small, plastic shot glass and will rest again before it's time to drink.

The ice chips and warmed blankets are life- savers.

Laurie

[GottaDoSomethin' 31]

I just read this thread from the beginning and it describes my thought process exactly. Each minute I alternate between thinking this surgery could save my life or give me a life I'm not happy with. I applaud your resolve to go through with the surgery and wish you the best on your continued journey.

[ready2getgoing 41]

@@hrhlaurie - My feelings were very similar to yours - I kept thinking, maybe I don't need to have the surgery, maybe this time will be different - but I also kept coming back to I couldn't do it on my own before.

I was sleeved on Tuesday, got up and started walking within two hours and was able to come home late Wednesday afternoon. Mostly cramps and gas pains at first but they've pretty much gone now.

Amazing that I am not hungry at all - especially since my intake has been so low. I got one shake in yesterday.

[hrhlaurie 185]

I spent 2 days in the hospital and I'm going home in a couple of hours. Yesterday was hard, trying to get liquids in and figuring out just how many sips I could have before I made myself sick. I learned quickly to take small sips a few minutes apart because once you give yourself pain and nausea, you really don't want to do that again. I had a moment yesterday when I felt so sick, was really tired and sore with tubes and cords running all over me and felt dumb for causing this whole situation. Sometime early this morning I kind of turned a corner. I sip Water every couple of mins and room temperature feels better to me than cold. When stomach starts to gurgle don't swallow another thing until it stops our you will either throw up or have a very close call and feel sick to your stomach for awhile. Not fun!

For the next week I'll be taking in Water and have a one ounce liquid meal every three hours and will take my Vitamins. Fox told me that I'll still be really tired and after I walk I'll need to sleep. What was nice is that he suctioned the gas back out so not much pain there, just muscle and stitches pain when I get in and out of bed and chairs.

I have a bit of a headache now so will see what I'll allowed to take.

More tales of my new stitched up belly tomorrow.