Attitude change!

[Bmjohnson 84]

ok so I have a co worker who told me before my surgery on March 20 to please not let it change who I am. Two months into this he is already saying that Im totally different. I have felt like the surgery has thrown off my body some. How you might ask? well I just feel down at times but also aggravated at nothing in particular. I feel like this is just a side effect from the surgery in general but would like input. Thanks in advance.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

IMO there is no way to change your outside without also changing your inside as well. Who you become as a thin person can also be worked on, just like you workout your body and eat right to make the right outcome. Pay close attention to how you are treating others because it is a known issue that we can feel upset or angry as we lose weight. We are forced to face our demons head on and it's rarely pleasant. We no longer have food to make us comfortably numb so we have no other remedy!

If this person is a good friend then I recommend talking with him and ask him exactly how you are changing in personality? Is it for the better or what is it about the new you he doesn't particularly care for. Sure we can all say "who cares if he doesn't like the new you" but in reality that is just ridiculous. If we thought that about everyone we will end up alone.

Perhaps you need to reel in your feelings a bit more? I don't know... but just be aware that post WLS life does include us changing in a lot of ways personality wise. Just remind those you are close to that no matter what your feelings for them as a person won't change, and keep that communication line open for them.

Best,

[lisacaron 5,075]

@@Bmjohnson you know I read your post and I was thinking about this quite a bit the other day. I have known a few people who have gone through WLS in the past and "changed" and yes they had issues, but it took me a few minutes to realize that they always had those issues and they hadn't really changed much I had changed the way I looked at them.

It wasn't just because they had lost the weight and their physical appearance had changed, but many things about them changed with their physical appearance almost as if their inner demons could now be seen on the surface and were no longer suppressed. For instance one such person started acting like she was 16 again and not the mother of two children and a wife. She was out and flirting and cheating on her husband and I thought about this long and hard and you know before I judged her I thought to myself...she was always like this, but no one took her seriously when she was fat. Now that she was not fat she was getting and going on dates. She must have always wanted that, but now it was reality for her. She was going about it the "wrong" way in my mind but who was I to judge her? If I felt so badly about I should just speak my mind and let her go and do her thing and keep myself out and away from it. For me that is what worked in that particular instance.

Most of the time when people tell us we are "changing" we are to an extent but when something is bothering them about our transformation it says more about them then it does about us. If something is bothering your friend ask them to be honest with you about it, and be honest with yourself about how you are treating yourself and others around and at the end of the day if you are OK with your choices and who you are then no one has the right to judge you.

If not then take the time to work on it. This person I was describing to you didn't want to work on her relationship with her friends her family or her children. She chose another path and that was OK for her and for the rest of us we are all where we need to be today, but as @@LilMissDiva Irene said in her post we are all apt to change a bit on the inside if we wish our our bodies to change on the outside, but in the same way in can all be for the better.