I need to vent/psych question

[ladymare 1]

I'm having the operation through the Bariatric program at Balboa. Tricare prime is covering me. I went and had my psych eval done and at the end the doc said all was good. Later I got an email from him saying, "who do you want to continue therapy with?" Long story short, he felt my stress was really high, (sorry I was honestly about things that bother me), and he wouldn't refer me without me seeing another therapist. So now I'm pissed. So I asked a friend who her therapist was and saw her lady a few times. Now Tricare is saying they won't cover that therapist anymore. So now I have a referral to a new therapist. I'm so frustrated with this whole thing. I'm pretty much just waiting at this point for a therapist to clear me. I really feel I'm under no higher stress than any other military wife out there. Both psychs have told me they are concerned that I only have 4-5 close friends and I only vent to about 3 people my stresses. That's just who I am! (Minus this instance because I'm fed up and I don't know who else can relate.) I told the psych eval therapist from the get go that his profession made me totally uncomfortable. :/

Did anyone else have issues with therapists?

Edited May 20, 2014 by ladymare

[Teachamy 1,042]

I expected to see a therapist once, and she ended up making 3 appts. with me. I didn't mind it because she fit me in once a week for 3 weeks, when it was convenient for me, and she was easy to talk to. I think the key here is to find a good therapist, and then continue to share your true feelings. It is all part of the process.

[joatsaint 2,814]

I can understand your frustration. I would make it easy on myself and tell the doc who I'd like to continue therapy with, get the surgery and then decide if I wanted to continue therapy or not.

[ladymare 1]

That's pretty much where I'm at... I'm going to do it - because I have to, up until the surgery and bail on that part after. It's just stupid that I am so stressed out about a doctor who is suppose to help me relieve my stress. I hadn't had any real issues with it until all of this. Because one man thought I didn't have enough avenues to release stress... It's just frustrating.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

take advantage of it. it might be just what you need after surgery when you wont have the option of using food to cope anymore. most people are a little surprised at just how much they have relied on food to deal after the surgery.

[KarenSt 35]

I actually liked my therapist & wanted to keep seeing him but he wouldn't keep seeing me. He said all of his advice & guidance goes back to scripture & since I'm an atheist he doesn't know what to do with me. I passed my psych eval but he said I didn't have a support system because I don't go to a church or have a god to lean on. I had to take a friend with me to meet my surgeon to prove I have a support system. <<eye roll>>

[Schoe394 7]

I'm going through Tricare prime up is Everett. Do you have a case manager? I found my therapist through her and the therapist sees a lot of military wives going through the procedure so she knows what stress we can all have and she is okay with it. Maybe someone can help you find one who knows more about the military life because I only have a couple friends where I live too and it plays no part on why I'm going through the procedure and if I can handle it or not and they should see that for you too!

[ladymare 1]

Schoe I'm going to use one my PCM assigned me to rather than trying to get my own or who the bariatric program recommended. Those two didn't work out. We'll see on Thursday how well my PCM picks.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

take advantage of it. it might be just what you need after surgery when you wont have the option of using food to cope anymore. most people are a little surprised at just how much they have relied on food to deal after the surgery.

yeah, i'd be appealing THAT one to the insurance company ASAP.

[swimbikerun 1,045]

So you only have a handful of true friends? Whats the problem with that? OMB. Incredible. There are lots of people I know that only have a handful or less of close friends. I'm my own support system. I've got complications and issues and I still get on & support others. I enjoy it. It helps me.

So you are honest about your problems and because of doing so, that's wrong? That's the impression I get. So you are attempting to address something honestly?

I personally want to know they're not looking for money. I mean come on ... everybody on this planet is pretty much stressed in one way or another.

I'm sorry but I don't see where you have a problem. My family has been married to military from fathers' father, my dad, stepdad, my dad's brothers, my sister (2 of the 3), and my niece and nephew (all but one) are in the military or are military spouses. What the heck?????

Sorry but as the PROUD relative of service members, that's bunk. I call crap on that. I'd go back and say I found people to work my stress level out with and I want to know what specific diagnosis you are giving me and why. I want to see DSM IV criteria for it. Start making the buggers work for it.

[ladymare 1]

swimbikerun, AMEN!

I feel like they heard me talking about oh yea, I'm stressed a little because my husband will deploy again in Dec. (surgery should be around July) and they instantly saw dollar signs. I feel like I'm being milked for money to fill their pockets rather than trying to actually help me. But my program manager is adamant about "if the psych eval report says it, you must fulfill it."

I'm super crossing my fingers that I can go to this new guy and say, "hey, I'm a private person, I have stress. I'm working on dealing with it. I'm actually not so much an emotional eater as I am a boredom eater, and I've found ways to deal with that... etc..."

This whole thing with the psych doctors has been pretty bogus from the start.

[swimbikerun 1,045]

It is. That's why so many lie to them.

I would say (and ask to record this encounter) I do have concerns because my husband is deploying in Dec. However I'm addressing that by working with several close friends and a few more that I've found who understand what I'm going through and are supportive of me. You might want to mention that you are setting up financial/power of attorney stuff if you haven't already, so that those things are taken care of before they go. You also want to mention something about how you are going to write, email, call etc, so that you are working on your relationship while they're gone.

The other is that you can say you happen to be one of those persons who doesn't believe in airing dirty laundry in public.

Tell him you like to eat. Holy cow that's not a sin. Ok ... gluttony is ... but you know, everybody has sins they love. You should see us at church. We're conservative, fundamentalist Baptists.

We eat like we need overeaters anonymous at gatherings. We're polite about it but we do stuff ourselves. Our Pastors are solid men, don't look at women other than their wives, etc. but I mentioned food for the office staff and I had the associate pastors face light up like the national Christmas tree.

Anyway ... I would say up front that you are looking to have the surgery as a "tool" (use that word) to get healthier and to help you with your eating habits. Tell them what you are going to do about eating afterwards. Mention about portions, types of food, etc.

In other words, what you want is a pre made speech about how you have a few things but how you are dealing with them. You want to see why this is a problem and why the methods that you are using to deal with it are wrong or not approved.

Challenge them. I did. Dang turkeys. I didn't the psych person but you tell these people the truth and how you handle stuff and there is nothing they can say.

[ChavaBling 145]

I actually liked my therapist & wanted to keep seeing him but he wouldn't keep seeing me. He said all of his advice & guidance goes back to scripture & since I'm an atheist he doesn't know what to do with me. I passed my psych eval but he said I didn't have a support system because I don't go to a church or have a god to lean on. I had to take a friend with me to meet my surgeon to prove I have a support system. <<eye roll>>

Duuuude......that kind of sounds discriminatory. WTF? I'm sorry you had that experience, but then again, maybe it is for the best that he cut you loose, so to speak.

[ChavaBling 145]

@@ladymare I know that there are many therapists in SoCal that will work with you on a sliding scale, if TriCare won't cover you. Everyone can benefit from therapy, sometimes in ways we couldn't have imagined. My therapist is currently helping me work on guided relaxation & guided imagery. It's really helping me relax about my hospital stay, and I'm grateful for that. 3 days 'til I'm sleeved.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

its fairly rare to find therapists who do what they do so they can milk clients for money. the vast majority of therapists, skilled or not, genuinely care about helping people.

i wonder what you might be afraid is going to happen if you have to see someone.