Wake the sleeping bear

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

The more I resist food anesthesia, the less tolerance I have for @$$#0\€$ in my life.

It's become clear to me that taking the WLS step was not just about me losing weight and getting healthy. It was about self respect and making life changes. It took a lot for me to get to the jumping off point. But now that I have started, I've set in motion something bigger than dropping some sizes.

Maybe that's why it took so long for me to take the WLS plunge. Because it's not all about the weight, is it?

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

yup. my friend who lost 150 pounds talks about learning to lose her "fat brain."

[2muchfun 8,927]

Success in small doses is like an aphrodisiac. For most of us, it's much more powerful than the anesthetic effects of food.

[PdxMan 4,292]

I like your phrase, "food anesthesia". I'm going to borrow that.

Because, that is what it is for me when I abuse food. It is the same as alcohol. As a long term member of a 12 step program, I learned early on that alcohol wasn't my problem, it was my solution. I was the problem ... how I lived life on life's terms. If I didn't want to feel the emotions of the day, I could anesthetize myself with alcohol. That worked for a long time ... until it didn't.

The same came true for my relationship with food. It comforted me when I was down, was there for me when I celebrated. It was an option for me when alcohol wasn't. And just like alcohol, food worked for me for a long time ... until it didn't. WLS has been the tool to help me not abuse food the way I used to. But there is still the deeper problem.

Me and my ability to live life on life's terms.

I still have the same roller coaster life. I still struggle with doing the next right thing. But I don't have my old coping mechanisms, and that is hard, sometimes. My solution has been to re-commit myself to my 12 step program as for me, I have learned a lot of life skills there.

I have never been to an OA meeting, or seen a counselor as it relates to my relationship with food, but I would suggest to anyone who doesn't already attend some form of the many forms of 12 step meetings, to seek out one of these options. For me, it has been critical to help me find the serenity I need in my and my family's lives.

[tarbaby 12]

Hi I am new to posting but I have been reading a lot for a while and I started 3 month ago to research so I can have wls and I am having it on May 29th, I also eat food for comfort and not cuz I need fuel just to live , but this is the first post I totally Agee with from 2004 I gain about 100lbs due to post traumatic stress I love food and when I eat it make me not think but after it hit me like a ton of bricks and then I say to myself what have I done and is doing to my self, I also did not tell my family I only told my two daughters, I am so worried and if I am doing the right thing and how I would feel.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I believe that both the food and the weight created a numbing barrier to many things. One of the things I tried pre sleeve was going to an eating disorders clinic. They told me I did not have a classic eating disorder but rather that I used food as an emotional ballast. Like when the world just got to be too much, I would be driven to overeat to help numb it all. It explained why even though I am well educated on healthy eating, I actually LIKE healthy eating... I couldn't maintain it for the long run. As the years rolled on, it got worse... like I could do well on weight watchers for a few months but then would just jump off the food cliff so to speak.

I do want to say that there is largely a physical component for me as well. I mean, I really was physically hungry all the time. I think that situation was created by a lifetime of abusing food and messing up my hunger sensors. so having the surgery helped with that, and then losing weight has created new challenges for me.

PDXMan you state much of it well. I am getting better and better but it was strange to me that I didn't really go through too much of a "I miss food" during the weight loss phase but the emotional aspects of all this surely hit me in 2014. I really DON'T miss food anymore, but I am clearly missing something.... I am an empty nester, and due to the nature of my work live a somewhat isolated life. My family of origin dynamics changed over the last 5 years too - so bottom line I used to live in a whirlwind of people activity and now I live a quiet life which is disorienting.

I am working hard to increase my social outlets which were already pretty good, but living alone now means I need MORE of that. My inner life is getting calmer and better but this is no joke - alot of adjustments. Who knew that fat and food were such an effective "mood drug"???

[tarbaby 12]

Hi cowgirljane I totally understand what you are saying cuz I lost many family members and then had to admit to myself that if I do not get a divorce my husband would do some to me and after that I just would look for things to numb my feelings and I could not even be there for my girls and give them all my attention , it's so funny how we can allow people to control our emotions, I want to do this for me and that's one of the reason I did not tell my family.