Sis is driving me crazy

[gowalking 10,790]

During a family discussion today, my sister told my cousins that my success with the band is because I 'think' it helps me. She is certain that my appetite suppression is in my head. In other words, the band works because I feel 'psychological' restrictiong rather than physical restriction. She thinks this because I have no fills.

I understand that this opinion she has helps her to not face her own demons. She is morbidly obese as I was and she is not ready to take on the challenge of weight loss whether it's via surgery or not. By rationalizing that I was 'ready' to lose weight, she doesn't have to investigate this option because she is not yet ready herself.

I don't want this to come between us so I've dropped it but no matter how often I tell her the band helps to tamp down my hunger, she simply refuses to believe it. So what I have is a situation where I try to explain that the band works and she refuses to believe it has anything to do with the band and that I was simply ready to lose the weight.

I know it's not true and this is an argument that I just can't win. Where others understand that it's a combination of restriction and willpower (eating healthy, avoiding sliders, stopping when the hunger is satiated), she refuses to hear it. Thank goodness I can vent here knowing that you all will let me and I then I can let it go.

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

I respect that you are putting your relationship with your sister above your feelings that you need to educate her or argue with her. Some people don't want to learn or listen -- they've made up their minds for whatever reasons and it sounds like you have a healthy attitude towards her.

Best wishes...

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

Remember it is a disease like any other like alcohol or drugs , just food was our drug of CHOICE, you notice I said choice , and until that person their selves want help and ask for it and really wants it then there is nothing you or any one else can do, so you can or might say in a nice way how you like being able to not to have the aid of a cane to walk and how you like to be able to bend over and come back up and not feeling like your going to pass out and how you are just able to breath better , and maybe it will trigger something , but again you can't force a opinion on someone , cause we all know what opinions are like , everybody has one , just do you like you have been doing and tell your sister you love her and are just worried and would miss her because of something simple that may save her life, well I hope some of this helped , and I am so mad that the Doctors won't touch my Mother to help her with her weight , because now she has to many issues and their afraid her heart wouldn't be able to take it , she is only 65, I am afraid I want have her around in a few yrs, and I mean few.

[SandyM 1,956]

Like you said, she's in denial. If she admits it could work for her she'll feel obligated to give it a try. I'm assuming but can't remember that you had plication as well, hence the no fills,

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

@@gowalking, your sister sounds like my wls skeptic husband. My doctor wanted maximum weight loss in the post op liquids phase. This gave my husband the argument that the band didn't do anything because I was eating so few calories and had no fill. I've stopped explaining because he really doesn't want to know. I'm now on foods and one fill, and weight loss has slowed. This is my project, and I know from decades of marriage that he will not help me with this, so I'm getting my support elsewhere. I didn't do this for him. Sometimes it's hard, but it is what it is. Denial is spot on. As long as he does not actively interfere with my efforts, I don't give a rat's patootie what he has to say.