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My Family Standing in my Way



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I was sleeved on March 11th and I have been working out at the gym everyday for the last 3 weeks. My husband is also over weight (6'2" and 285 lbs.) I want him to come to the gym with me and all week he tells me he is too busy from work, so I begged him to go to the gym with me today, he agreed. We got the the gym and the kids club was closed so there was nothing for my 8 year old daughter to do but sit on the side and wait. She was doing that but she was bored, my husband did 30 minutes on the treadmill next to me and then he was gone. I asked my daughter where he went and she didn't know. My son had finished by that time and he wanted to leave. I kept doing my weight lifting and trying to do everything I normally do and they kept walking into a room they aren't allowed in to ask if I was done yet. I finally got mad and left, we found my husband sitting on a bench out front complaining about how long it took me.

I don't know what to do, I'm angry at them for stopping me from working out and so disappointed that they don't understand that I take my work out and weight lose seriously. I don't know why they can't see that for 15 years I have put them first in every aspect and they still fight me when I am trying to put myself first now in this.

This is hurting me more than them eating out all the time and drinking soda in front of me and eating ice cream daily.

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I can only imagine how hard it is the situation you are going through, people specially family members don't really understand how we feel and how important weight problems are for us. I would suggest not bringing them with, I understand your desire for you to have them join you in this journey but even though they support you it probably isn't so extremely important to them as it is to you and I'm not saying they don't care they just love u the way you are and might not really comprehend the impact of them not giving it their 100%. So I would suggest you take this time for you and only you. Enjoy giving your 100% only to yourself and make it "you" time to enjoy the progress and hard work you are putting into your self physically, mentally and emotionally. Only we understand our selfs no matter how much we explain, complain, or argue only we really know how it is and even though our families care and support us it probably won't ever be in the way we want to since they can't really truly understand

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I understand the frustration you are feeling. Of course every time I have tried to eat healthier or start working out, even just walking more, I expect the BF to do so as well. It never works out well.

WLS is a major life changer and not just for you, but for the family. But it may not have affected them as much or just yet. Because you have ‘seen the light’ and have a plan that you are hell bent on achieving, doesn’t mean they are in the same place. They may never be in the same place as you.

That’s ok. You can’t force them too. As much as you want their support, they can only give what they have. And honestly, it may be nothing. This is your path, your struggle, your destiny. In the end it is only you that can walk your path.

Let them stay home. Have the husband watch the kids while you go and workout. Enjoy the time and peace to do what you need to do at your own pace. You won’t be bothered or rushed. Honestly, outside of the BF driving me to the hospital and picking me up, that is about all that I am expecting from him. He will walk with me. I will be grateful for that. Just as long as he doesn’t try to hinder me, get in my way or sabotage me, I’ll be fine.

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