Courtney Love has the band??

[green 6]

I tend to discriminate against heavily made up women and, like BJean, against very thin, very fit women. I tend to figure that they must be shallow and sometimes I am wrong.

[Jachut 487]

I never felt like I was treated as stupid. And I think that thin, fit lookign women have pride in themselves, look after themselves and are probably not lazy. I'm ashamed to admit I probably judge very overweight people harshly and always did, even when I was one myself. Because I was a lazy slob, lol. Truly, I did get fat by laziness to some extent.

As to Courtney Love - well she's piled it all on again now hasnt she? Probably good indication that she's indulged in the most stupid behaviour of all - starving yourself and expecting the weight to stay off rather than making sensible lifestyle changes

[BJean 16]

Jacqui the thing is that some thin women aren't thin because of anything they have or haven't done. Some women just have great genes. Just because they have better genetic make up doesn't make them deserving of our admiration, I don't think. Of course it shouldn't make us jealous or discriminatory either. Unfortunately, many of them wind up being addictive to plastic surgery and often are the ones who wind up with a grimace for a smile and eyelids that won't close. And many of them are the ones who have no compassion for people who are overweight and sometimes are the ones who are the most cruel.

As for those women who have a lot of pride in their appearance and health and work hard to maintain it, I do have an incredible amount of respect for them.

I have even more respect for someone who battles the bulge who is genetically (and emotionally) predisposed to being overweight and depressed - not necessarily in that order - and who manages to stay relatively healthy and happy and who doesn't go around with a chip on her shoulder because of the fact that she's been treated badly.

My sister has been very overweight all of her life and she has had to deal with a lot of really hurtful comments and actions as long as I can remember. It has made her aggressive, snappish, scarastic, hateful and unhappy. She continues to turn to food for comfort. In my family we all do that. I have only been overweight later in my life though. Before that, I absolutely did not understand what she was having to endure. Now I know and now I understand why she's the sometimes impossible person that she is. I may understand it, but I still don't like to be around her.

[Jachut 487]

All very true - appearances are deceiving arent they? I always get so freaking angry when my BIL pokes fun at my husband for his beer belly, when he indulges in ALL the same behaviour himself, actually worse in regard to diet and lack of exercise, but is lucky just to be thin. He's actually not built well at all, he's weedy and puny, but he's thin and assumes he has high moral ground because of it.

That's why I said "I'm ashamed to admit it" becuase I do make those assumptions about people based on the way they look.

We all do it, its a human failing.

[green 6]

So much of what we are is due to the luck of the genetic deck. I have always felt that was true but now I am reading a book on genetics and it is even more apparent that nature really does trump nurture. This is why I for one am quite happy to avail myself of anything modern medicine can hand out: anti-depressants to treat the depression which runs in my family; prescription glasses to correct my lousy ageing vision; a lap-band to fix the post-menopausal weight gain which mirrors that of my mum; and plastic surgery to repair some of the damage done by ageing. Green is a practical grrl.

[green 6]

And, BJean, you are right. And here I am thinking about your comments regarding your sister. Such handicaps as extreme homeliness, obesity, poverty, being a member of an unwanted minority, chronic pain, emotional disease, and physical handicaps rarely have an ennobling effect upon our natures but instead can often tend to turn us into sour, jealous, depressed, cranky, and bitter people. This is because these people have a harder time with living their lives. And of course we avoid their company because they are, well, unpleasant to be around.:phanvan

[BJean 16]

Jachut: I didn't mean to sound preachy - I wasn't being critical of you. I'm just still trying to figure all this stuff out. Purely making observations and relating in my own way. I certainly have been guilty of being discriminatory and judgmental - it is a human failing of mine as I too said earlier.

(Doesn't it just make you want to stick out your foot sometimes when your BIL walks by?) :heh:

green I'm practical too. But a little gun shy when it comes to plastic surgery. I have needed a face lift for a couple of years. I've seen one performed on TV and it's positively creepy to watch. But I would love to have one - and if I get the nerve, one day I probably will. I'm a bit jealous of your seemingly easy "practical" approach to these little problems.

[green 6]

@BJean: yep, I am nervous about the face surgery. This is why I am paying lotsa money in order to go to one of Toronto's high profile cosmetic surgeons. I figure that you wear your face wherever you go - unless you live in one of those Muslim countries - and you don't want to risk something weird a la Michael Jackson happening to it. :help: Afterall, I've been an atheist pretty much all my life and I doubt that I could convert to Islam at the age of 58 just to be able to hide a botched face job under a burqa! :eyebrows: So the facework is going to cost me the price of a car but then I have never bought a car; I don't drive, you see, and I figure that I am kinda shallow enough to want to go for it.

I am terribly afraid of the pain which I will experience during the recovery time. And I have been told that the recovery time will be much longer than it was for the lapband. (3 weeks after the lift before I can leave the house without looking like the victim of spousal abuse.) :heh:

I guess I also have the feeling that I am cheating in some fashion, a feeling I have never, ever experienced with the lapband although some of the members who post on this site have mentioned that they have/do feel this way.:phanvan

I did, though, have a mini-lift which was done by this guy when I turned 50 and the results were splendid. I am still ahead of the game thanks to the work he did then. I recovered very quickly from that surgery, as I did from the lapband. (It seems to be rhinoviruses which leave me sick as a dog for 5-6 weeks. :sick blehhh!)

It is a good thing that I have never watched the surgery, eh. :rolleyes

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

LOL...yes...I am addicted to watching thos surgeries. It is like a bad wreck, you want to look away, but you don't....

[BJean 16]

I know Boo Boo Kitty!! I kind of put my hands in front of my face and look through my fingers, like in a horror movie!

green: Choosing the doctor is the biggie for me. If you are confident about your doctor, and have seen his work, that's more than half the battle! I hope you'll think about posting before and after photos.

Rhinovirus? Have you finally FINALLY had the test? Been diagnosed and getting the proper meds? Or are you still being a panty waist? So to speak... :omg:

[green 6]

Oh, I can't watch any surgeries at all. I am very, very squeamish. I like to imagine that my insides are made of india rubber - that is to say, entirely solid all the way through. :straight I have never changed a diaper or cleaned up sick for this reason. :help: I am easily grossed out.

(Re the dysentery problem, after 6 weeks it went away without me having to do anything gross. I started swallowing down handfuls of acidopholus. I think that did the trick. phew! )

[BJean 16]

Well color green, lucky. Er, color green, green, you lucky duck. :whoo:

I sure hope that did the trick. If you weren't having terrible cramps and spasms, it may have just been a touch of gastroenteritis or somethin'. The acidophlous has baled me out more than once!

[green 6]

Oh, I sure was having terrible cramps and spasms along with everything else. But now, after 6 weeks of Hell, it is finally gone!!!! And I successfully avoided the dreaded harvesting bizness. Ugh.

[BJean 16]

Well thank goodness that's overwith! I was worried about you.

[green 6]

:biggrin1:Thanks, kiddo, for them kind thoughts.:kiss2: