Do people treat you different?

[vincereautmori 323]

Do you find people treat you differently than they did when you were heavy?

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

oh yes, the smaller I get, the smarter and more capable I appear.

[Mrs.RRn 2,111]

Yes. Sometimes I enjoy it, but it's mostly disappointing.

[ziggypbang 272]

I genuinely always felt like I had to be the jolly, fat girl who was nice to everybody and never stood up for myself. I think people treated me well because I dressed well, was well educated, and bent over backwards to make everyone happy all the time. Now I get to relax and just be me. I have the confidence to stand up for myself when I need to, which feels great. I think maybe people are nicer? I do notice myself turning a few more heads...

[vincereautmori 323]

Yes. Sometimes I enjoy it, but it's mostly disappointing.

Why disappointing?

[RNBSN786 206]

I am 5 feet, was 210 and now 176. When I lose more weight, I think I would also see people turn heads..so far it has not happened as yet. As far as being nice, I am nice to people but I dont go out of my way like I used to and its not cause of my weight or anything, its because I just prefer being more reserved and keep it to myself type. Just recently I was turned down by a man because of my weight where he didnt even give a chance to know me...yes I was hurt but what can you do...he is not the right one. I will let you know how people treat me once I drop more weight...

[Mrs.RRn 2,111]

Yes. Sometimes I enjoy it, but it's mostly disappointing.

Why disappointing?

Disappointing because the people who give me attention (mainly men) would've never when I was heavier- I'm still the same person. Even the men at work are all of a sudden more helpful.

Sales people, waiters, strangers are more helpful and nicer- which is great, but weight shouldn't make a difference.

I was also recently offered a job I don't think I would've before.

It sad that weight determines worth.

[vincereautmori 323]

Yes. Sometimes I enjoy it, but it's mostly disappointing.

Why disappointing?

Disappointing because the people who give me attention (mainly men) would've never when I was heavier- I'm still the same person. Even the men at work are all of a sudden more helpful.

Sales people, waiters, strangers are more helpful and nicer- which is great, but weight shouldn't make a difference.

I was also recently offered a job I don't think I would've before.

It sad that weight determines worth.

Weight bias is a reality and we are in a unique position to have experienced both sides of it. One of the things I have feared about weight loss surgery, is becoming someone different. Perhaps it's not us who change, it's others. Good luck and enjoy the attention, you've earned it.

[vincereautmori 323]

I am 5 feet, was 210 and now 176. When I lose more weight, I think I would also see people turn heads..so far it has not happened as yet. As far as being nice, I am nice to people but I dont go out of my way like I used to and its not cause of my weight or anything, its because I just prefer being more reserved and keep it to myself type. Just recently I was turned down by a man because of my weight where he didnt even give a chance to know me...yes I was hurt but what can you do...he is not the right one. I will let you know how people treat me once I drop more weight...

It's still early in your journey, as you gain confidence and awareness of your body, you will probably find that you may feel more comfortable in social situations and gravitate towards men with substance. Good luck.

[Kindle 8,667]

Yep, people are way nicer to me. (But not vice versa)

[par1959 470]

I am pre-op. Most of the women that work in the bariatric center I am going through have had one or another type of bariatric surgery. All have been very nice, but in some cases its hard for me to ask them questions about their experience. Some of the ladys have had excellent results, but other still look very heavy. I made the mistake of asking one who was very heavy if the surgery worked for her. She was 3 year post op with a band. In my opinion it did not. As soon as I asked, I felt very imbarrased and felt I might have offended her. She turned around and told me that I should have seen her before, she was somewhere around 50% larger. Feeling like a big dirt bag I congratulaed her knowing we all are different. The problem is other employees that have had the proceedure still look huge and it hard not to ask if they feel it was worth it with out making an ass of myself. This makes me have second thoughts on the results? Is it wrong to ask or how should you ask? Confused!!!!!!!!

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

I am pre-op. Most of the women that work in the bariatric center I am going through have had one or another type of bariatric surgery. All have been very nice, but in some cases its hard for me to ask them questions about their experience. Some of the ladys have had excellent results, but other still look very heavy. I made the mistake of asking one who was very heavy if the surgery worked for her. She was 3 year post op with a band. In my opinion it did not. As soon as I asked, I felt very imbarrased and felt I might have offended her. She turned around and told me that I should have seen her before, she was somewhere around 50% larger. Feeling like a big dirt bag I congratulaed her knowing we all are different. The problem is other employees that have had the proceedure still look huge and it hard not to ask if they feel it was worth it with out making an ass of myself. This makes me have second thoughts on the results? Is it wrong to ask or how should you ask? Confused!!!!!!!!

PAR, that's a very slippery slope you've tried to manage and it is one best left alone. The best way to discuss these things is in one of the support groups where everyone, including the employees, open up about their experiences. They generally tell their beginning weight and what they have lost to date and sometimes show the before and after pictures. This is where you will get the true gist of what is working for whom. Some people have larger amounts of weight to lose and it takes them quite awhile to get to the point that you might not consider them to be overweight. Everyone is different and not all bariatric patients wish to keep working to get thin. Some just want to get enough weight off to help them deal with their medical problems. I'm not that familiar with the band but from what I've read on here, the weight loss is slower than with the other surgeries so you can compare the bands with the VSG or the By-Pass. The surgery is a tool to assist patients with their diets, it's not a miracle cure and it won't work unless you stick to the diet and we all know that not everybody sticks to the diet. So, you can't look at that particular Bariatric Office to see if the surgery is successful. This forum is awesome and you can see by the posts people make, that they are getting out of the surgery exactly what they put into it. Some people have better results than others, it's just one of those things. Another thing, are you having the lap band? If not then you should be directing your questions more towards the people that have the surgery you plan on getting. I had the sleeve on Feb. 10th, I've lost 46 pounds and I feel its the best thing I've ever done for myself. Good luck.

[1Day1Life4Now 882]

PAR, that's a very slippery slope you've tried to manage and it is one best left alone. The best way to discuss these things is in one of the support groups where everyone, including the employees, open up about their experiences. They generally tell their beginning weight and what they have lost to date and sometimes show the before and after pictures. This is where you will get the true gist of what is working for whom. Some people have larger amounts of weight to lose and it takes them quite awhile to get to the point that you might not consider them to be overweight. Everyone is different and not all bariatric patients wish to keep working to get thin. Some just want to get enough weight off to help them deal with their medical problems. I'm not that familiar with the band but from what I've read on here, the weight loss is slower than with the other surgeries so you can compare the bands with the VSG or the By-Pass. The surgery is a tool to assist patients with their diets, it's not a miracle cure and it won't work unless you stick to the diet and we all know that not everybody sticks to the diet. So, you can't look at that particular Bariatric Office to see if the surgery is successful. This forum is awesome and you can see by the posts people make, that they are getting out of the surgery exactly what they put into it. Some people have better results than others, it's just one of those things. Another thing, are you having the lap band? If not then you should be directing your questions more towards the people that have the surgery you plan on getting. I had the sleeve on Feb. 10th, I've lost 46 pounds and I feel its the best thing I've ever done for myself. Good luck.

[vincereautmori 323]

I am pre-op. Most of the women that work in the bariatric center I am going through have had one or another type of bariatric surgery. All have been very nice, but in some cases its hard for me to ask them questions about their experience. Some of the ladys have had excellent results, but other still look very heavy. I made the mistake of asking one who was very heavy if the surgery worked for her. She was 3 year post op with a band. In my opinion it did not. As soon as I asked, I felt very imbarrased and felt I might have offended her. She turned around and told me that I should have seen her before, she was somewhere around 50% larger. Feeling like a big dirt bag I congratulaed her knowing we all are different. The problem is other employees that have had the proceedure still look huge and it hard not to ask if they feel it was worth it with out making an ass of myself. This makes me have second thoughts on the results? Is it wrong to ask or how should you ask? Confused!!!!!!!!

I'm pre-op too, but I find you have to be careful how you interpret everyone's results, as 1day1life has said, some people aren't as concientious about following their program and blame the tool. You definitely need to talk with more than a few people to get an idea of the range in results from a particular technique, so your local support groups are a great source. The great thing about these online forums is the anonymity, people will be pretty open when answering your questions, but read the good with the bad so you know what to expect. Don't be afraid to ask questions, that's the responsible thing to do. Good Luck.