Christian Bandsters

[letschat 0]

simmons775, this is the first time I have read this site. I have been saved since I was little. I am so thankful my parents brought me to church and I know it saved my life. I have not always lived a christian life and if it hadn't been for my parents prayers and upbringing in church I may not of ever found my way home. AS for your questions... No in my opinion Christian should not stick to there own kind. Christian is Christ like and Christ loved all. Jesus loves you even know you have not yet accepted him. Not knowing the circumstances behind keeping the children away its hard to comment on. I am sorry he hurt your feelings not even Christians are perfect try to keep that in mind. I believe Christians are not better or worse sinners than the non Christian's but the difference is once you ask God to forgive you and you receive His free gift of eternal life you know with out a doubt when you die your going to Heaven. The price for forgiveness has already been paid when Jesus died on the cross it's free we just need to receive it. maybe you could talk to them and explain your feelings are hurt and ask them if there is something that you could do so the kids can be friends. It could be as simple as he doesn't want his children watching certain shows on tv and once you agree then the problem is solved. I hope you can forgive him and work this out. My prayers are with you.

[simmons775 0]

maybe you could talk to them and explain your feelings are hurt and ask them if there is something that you could do so the kids can be friends. It could be as simple as he doesn't want his children watching certain shows on tv and once you agree then the problem is solved. I hope you can forgive him and work this out. My prayers are with you.

I appreciate your response. I wish is was that simple. As it stands, my friend said her husband would kill her if he knew she told me his feelings about the situation. This started just today when she told me our kids couldn't play 4 year old baseball this July. First she made an excuse about it being bad timing and then I called her on not ever spending time together and that is when she told me his beliefs that my children will be a negative influence because we don't believe. My children do not even know what God is because they have never been told. How could they be a bad influence? It just confuses. When they are old enough to make decisions on their own, they can learn about God and decide if believing is right for them. In the meantime, they should be loved for being kind and wonderful kids. It's not like we talk about our beliefs and try to make Christians become non-believers. It's not like we don't Celebrate Christmas. At our house Christmas is about family and Santa and Easter is about the bunny, not religion. That is the only difference. I just hate being judged. But, not to rant again. Just thanks for your response. I appreciate any feedback on my situation.

[Jesusislove 26]

Hi, yes, I can see why you are hurt. Before I can answer you I need a few more details. Did something happen to make your friend's husband come to this conclusion? You have been friends this long, why now? Do you allow your kids to do things that she does not allow her kids to do? I would ask them what did you do, because if you have been friends this long, why would she agree to what he said, obvisously, she believes it too. As a parent and not just a Christian, I must observe what the other parents allow their children to do before I release my children. I will seek the Lord how to answer so you can understand.

Edited May 6, 2008 by LLPlady3

[letschat 0]

O that does make it hard becasue the husband wont talk to you openly about it. That doesnt seem right. I wish you and your husband and your friend and her husband could get together and talk openly about why he feels this way. You are open and respect their bellives so I dont understand the harm in discussing this with you guys. Does he want his wife your friend hanging out with you or is that not allowed either?

[simmons775 0]

Hi, yes, I can see why you are hurt. Before I can answer you I need a few more details. Did something happen to make your friend's husband come to this conclusion? You have been friends this long, why now? Do you allow your kids to do things that she does not allow her kids to do? I would ask them what did you do, because if you have been friends thsi long, why would she agree to what he said, obvisously, she believes it too. As a parent and not just a Christian, I must observe what the other parents allow their children to do before I release my children. I will seek the Lord how to answer so you can understand.

We run our households the same. Same books, same morals, same everything. Except, her husband calls all the shots and my husband and I treat each other as equals. Same t.v. shows, same recreation except he plays golf and my husband doesn't. What I really think is that he doesn't want her to have me as a friend because I'm her only friend left that isn't a friend he chose for her to have. He's one of those types where if it is not his idea then he is not happy about it. I think the religion is an excuse to create a barrier. It's very sad really.

[simmons775 0]

O that does make it hard becasue the husband wont talk to you openly about it. That doesnt seem right. I wish you and your husband and your friend and her husband could get together and talk openly about why he feels this way. You are open and respect their bellives so I dont understand the harm in discussing this with you guys. Does he want his wife your friend hanging out with you or is that not allowed either?

My friend and I still hang out but it is rare and only when he is not around. He makes me uncomfortable and is not warm towards me. We are not included in group events with other couples they associate with unless she insists. She is a sister to me. We have been best friends and inseparable since we were 13 which is 17 years ago. We both have 2 little boys and we both pregnant together each time. Our first boys are 7 weeks apart and our second sons are 2 weeks apart. We are practically one soul. I think it is terrible that he says negative this about me to her because it probably hurts her heart hearing them and I think it is more sad to basically wish for you wife to lose her best friend.

[Jesusislove 26]

Hi, out of the 17 years, have you ever been to church with her or any church functions? I am trying to help, I am getting to a point soon. From a personal view, there are not many people in my life that I have been around for 17 jyears, that has not become a Christian (To God be the Glory), not saying they had to become one, for I am nothing without Christ in my life. I remain humble in that aspect. However, if you love someone you do want them to be saved or become a Christian, not to satisfy you, but for them to please God. Her husband does not seem that bad, because he has accepted you being her friend this long, I have seen worse. Don't put all the blame on him, she has input too. One of my closest dearest sister in Christ was a drug addict and now today she is a great woman of God, I did not toss her because she was not saved, to God be the Glory. We have been friends for 17 years. This made me think of her.

Edited May 6, 2008 by LLPlady3

[neverB4 2]

simmons775,

I want to speak on my behalf as a Christian. I will share with you my thoughts and feelings because i too have come close in friendships with non-Christians.

I love the Lord. He paid the price for me that NO ONE else could. I chose to believe in Him so I can have faith here on earth and everlasting life in a place where no one will ever be hurt or judged again. Part of this acceptance and belief is also being Christ-like here on earth. Jesus never shuned anyone away. More importantly, He always reached out to the poor, the needy (meaning with knowledge) and the children. Irregardless who I come into contact each day, to me, everyone needs the Lord. Everyone deserves the oppurtunity to see the love of Christ, thru our Christian witness. He's the one that calms all my concerns and worries in life. Not the people I meet. I do praise Him greatly, though, when I meet a sister or brother in Christ. You automatically have a connection that no non-believer could ever feel or understand. Like a wonderful vacation place. One can not really know how wonderful it is unless they've been there themselves. Yes, you can talk about, show pics of it, but you actually have to witness it yourself. And it's the Holy Spirit for us believers!!

BUT...I still have contact with non-believers. Are they my best friends? No. But hopefully I can explain why so I won't offend you. The word of our Lord (for claimed Christians), teaches us that we should not shune non-believers at first few meets. We are to show His love. However, we are to "depart" from them and their ways IF, and again I'll say if...their ways begin to bring us down in our Christian walk. It comes down to this...a true believer, one who really is a born-again Christian, who wants to grow DAILY in their walk with the Lord, will have to make a personal decision between themselves and the Lord of who they need to omit from their lives and their family's lives. I dont' know where your BF's faith is in her belief, but if she is right with the Lord also, she will do what her husband says. According to God's word, the Christian wife's duties are to honor her husband. To allow him to be head of the household and family decisions. And of same return, if he's truely right with the Lord, he will love her, and honor her...keeping her desires in his own heart as well. I do not want to be judging of both your friends here. If there are things that make you question whether or not he's a true believer, a Christian, the only hope and peace I can offer you is to verify personally yourself, what the Bible says in accordance with his actions, his attitude. Of truth, if it's coinciding with what the word of the Lord says, then he is in the right place with his Christianity. If opposite, then he needs to spend some time with Christ.

Also, if he is a claimed believer, a Christain..then he owes it to you to be honost and true. He should be the one to show you what the Bible says to support his actions.

[simmons775 0]

Hi, out of the 17 years, have you ever been to church with her or any church functions? I am trying to help, I am getting to a point soon. From a personal view, there are not many people in my life that I have been around for 17 jyears, that has not become a Christian (To God be the Glory), not saying they had to become one, for I am nothing without Christ in my life. I remain humble in that aspect. However, if you love someone you do want them to be saved or become a Christian, not to satisfy you, but for them to please God. Her husband does not seem that bad, because he has accepted you being her friend this long, I have seen worse. Don't put all the blame on him, she has input too. I interact with women a lot in the church. One of my closest dearest sister in Christ was a drug addict and now today she is a great woman of God, I did not toss her because she was not saved, to God be the Glory. We have been friends for 17 years. This reminded me so much of us.

Don't get me wrong. I am just as upset with my friend as I am with her husband. I'm upset that he has only been in her life for 4 years, but he calls all the shots and she lets him. Like I said, I think he is just using religion as an excuse to hold over her head when he really just doesn't want her to be friends with people he didn't choose for her. I'm not seeing the connection between you and your friend and me and my friend except for the number of years. Sorry but I'm just not getting it.

[simmons775 0]

simmons775,

I want to speak on my behalf as a Christian. I will share with you my thoughts and feelings because i too have come close in friendships with non-Christians.

I love the Lord. He paid the price for me that NO ONE else could. I chose to believe in Him so I can have faith here on earth and everlasting life in a place where no one will ever be hurt or judged again. Part of this acceptance and belief is also being Christ-like here on earth. Jesus never shuned anyone away. More importantly, He always reached out to the poor, the needy (meaning with knowledge) and the children. Irregardless who I come into contact each day, to me, everyone needs the Lord. Everyone deserves the oppurtunity to see the love of Christ, thru our Christian witness. He's the one that calms all my concerns and worries in life. Not the people I meet. I do praise Him greatly, though, when I meet a sister or brother in Christ. You automatically have a connection that no non-believer could ever feel or understand. Like a wonderful vacation place. One can not really know how wonderful it is unless they've been there themselves. Yes, you can talk about, show pics of it, but you actually have to witness it yourself. And it's the Holy Spirit for us believers!!

BUT...I still have contact with non-believers. Are they my best friends? No. But hopefully I can explain why so I won't offend you. The word of our Lord (for claimed Christians), teaches us that we should not shune non-believers at first few meets. We are to show His love. However, we are to "depart" from them and their ways IF, and again I'll say if...their ways begin to bring us down in our Christian walk. It comes down to this...a true believer, one who really is a born-again Christian, who wants to grow DAILY in their walk with the Lord, will have to make a personal decision between themselves and the Lord of who they need to omit from their lives and their family's lives. I dont' know where your BF's faith is in her belief, but if she is right with the Lord also, she will do what her husband says. According to God's word, the Christian wife's duties are to honor her husband. To allow him to be head of the household and family decisions. And of same return, if he's truely right with the Lord, he will love her, and honor her...keeping her desires in his own heart as well. I do not want to be judging of both your friends here. If there are things that make you question whether or not he's a true believer, a Christian, the only hope and peace I can offer you is to verify personally yourself, what the Bible says in accordance with his actions, his attitude. Of truth, if it's coinciding with what the word of the Lord says, then he is in the right place with his Christianity. If opposite, then he needs to spend some time with Christ.

Also, if he is a claimed believer, a Christain..then he owes it to you to be honost and true. He should be the one to show you what the Bible says to support his actions.

While I respect your beliefs, I don't agree with any of what you said. But, thanks for your response.

[simmons775 0]

Thanks everyone for all of your responses. I guess only time will tell how my friend will deal with her husband's disapproval of myself and my family. In the meantime, our kids will suffer, so I hope he's proud of his poor choices as he sits up there on his pedestal. I'll just feel ashamed for him. I can't change the world so I'll just continue to be a good person and surround myself with positive influences, not those who bring me down. All responses were appreciated. Good luck with your weight loss goals fellow lap-banders!!!

[losing it in ne 0]

I'm sorry you feel so offended but it still comes down to values and life choices. You say as long as people are kind and loving it is okay to be around them. That is also judgemental. There are lots of people out there who are non of the things but still need to be valued and loved. No Jesus did not seperate himself but he laso gave a mighty responsibility to parents or teacher of young children. Very young children are often confused by things ( not neccessarily bad ) that happen in friends homes and they don't always unstand how to handle or accept them. Many parents, christian and otherwise choose to protect their children until they are a little older and have had more teaching as well as wisdom to make hopefully better choices when confronted with things that are not a part of thier family values. At some point they must choose for themselves how they will belives but we as parents all try to give the a good basis and foundation for that. Do I personally think that plying ball with another 4yr old would be detremental, no. I think part of the problem may be in your feelings about their relationship as a christian couple. Many women choose to be the submisssive wife in a loving chiristian relationship. A lot of women even christian women have a very hard time with this concept. Largely because society tells us that we should but If you havea trully Christ centered marriage, the love and respect from you husband far out weighs what you see as control. The Bible says a husband should love his wife as his own body. I hope that you and she can continue to be friends but I suspect until you let this opinion go and allow it to be ok with you that she has choosen this for her marriage that you wil always have some resistance from her husband, and therefore from her. I wish you the best and hope that you can accept her choice.

[Jesusislove 26]

I agree with both Losing it and neverB4.

[simmons775 0]

I'm sorry you feel so offended but it still comes down to values and life choices. You say as long as people are kind and loving it is okay to be around them. That is also judgemental. I was referring to the fact that though my kids are not christians they are kind and loving and are worthy of spending time with my friend's kids. There are lots of people out there who are non of the things but still need to be valued and loved. No Jesus did not seperate himself but he laso gave a mighty responsibility to parents or teacher of young children. Very young children are often confused by things ( not neccessarily bad ) that happen in friends homes and they don't always unstand how to handle or accept them. Many parents, christian and otherwise choose to protect their children until they are a little older and have had more teaching as well as wisdom to make hopefully better choices when confronted with things that are not a part of thier family values. At some point they must choose for themselves how they will belives but we as parents all try to give the a good basis and foundation for that. Do I personally think that plying ball with another 4yr old would be detremental, no. I think part of the problem may be in your feelings about their relationship as a christian couple. Neither one of them knows my feelings about what I think of their marriage. I've never told them. Many women choose to be the submisssive wife in a loving chiristian relationship. A lot of women even christian women have a very hard time with this concept. Largely because society tells us that we should but If you havea trully Christ centered marriage, the love and respect from you husband far out weighs what you see as control. The Bible says a husband should love his wife as his own body. I hope that you and she can continue to be friends but I suspect until you let this opinion go and allow it to be ok with you that she has choosen this for her marriage that you wil always have some resistance from her husband, and therefore from her. She doesn't know my opinion. I wish you the best and hope that you can accept her choice. Sorry, but not letting your kids play with other kids because they are different is narrow minded and wrong. If I accept her choice I'm compromising my belief that everyone is included.

I find your response very assuming of what has been said between my friend and myself as I have never mentioned in any of my posts that I have voiced my opinoins of her marriage and her husband to her directly. This just happened today. I was seeking other opinions and am not sure where you got your information from that my opinion of them is getting resistance since they don't even know how I feel yet.

[neverB4 2]

I just have to say in all of this right now, I praise the Lord for this thread!!

I read so many others outside of this one. I read of people's discouragement thru their trials and times of aggrevation. I read of their sense of hopelessness, confusion, and read of their daily battles.

Then I come back to this thread. It's nothing but pure grace from our Lord that we all show our "peace that passes all understanding"!! Yes, we come here asking for support and encouragement, but in a nutshell, isn't it true that all here have a sense of peace with no aggrevation outdoing what God is doing in our lives??!!!

John 14:27.."Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." That right there, is evidence that the Holy Spirit works.