female only Self Image Issues

[NotLookinBack 164]

Hey ladies.. I wanted to see if anyone else is feeling the same way that I am. Aug. 27th, 2014 will be one year for me. My doctor wants me to loose another 20lbs (which I am stalling and so hard to do... I have already lost 85) But when I look in the mirror I still see the size 20.. I still feel like I am the fatty that went in for the surgery.. Help.. ahh..

[Sherry73 94]

I am with you on this. Everyone says I am so much smaller. I look in the mirror and still see the fat girl. I hope and pray this changes.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

yes i feel this way also

but that is the (diet/failure) mentally thinking

its reminding me of all the failures i did before surgery

i hope one day to look in the mirror and see my profile picture

and not my before....as the time passes, its slowly getting easier

def use my clothes getting smaller as a sign the WLS i have

is working......even if my mind/eyes cant see it......clothes sizes dont lie

Hey ladies.. I wanted to see if anyone else is feeling the same way that I am. Aug. 27th, 2014 will be one year for me. My doctor wants me to loose another 20lbs (which I am stalling and so hard to do... I have already lost 85) But when I look in the mirror I still see the size 20.. I still feel like I am the fatty that went in for the surgery.. Help.. ahh..

[MichiganChic 3,262]

First, congratulations on your success! Second, you might slow down, but you could still slowly take off that last 20 pounds. It does get harder the closer we get to goal. And last, it also takes a while for our brains to catch up to our new look. I also struggled a little with that, but not so much what I see, and more what that number on the scale says. I had some difficulty reconciling the new look compared to how I used to look based on the number on the scale. It really bothered me that my BMI was still high. I've finally decided it's good enough. I look and feel good, and since I let go of trying to achieve a number, I feel better. Not sure if the number factors into what you are feeling, but it does take time to adjust. Once you have been at a stable weight a while, get used to buying the same size clothing, you might start to see the new you!

[Chele H 427]

Use an app like pic collage and do a before and after of yourself and then you can really see what others see.

I can see the smaller person in the mirror but when I am shopping I always look for the XL and then have to put it back.

Edited May 14, 2014 by Michele H.

[Kiara5244 62]

Im the same way! So far I lost about 60 lbs and I feel like I dont see any difference.. even some of my old clothes still fit me. So in my head I see that I can still wear a 18 and it fits so I know im still big!

[CowgirlJane 14,260]

It takes time for the brain to see the weight loss. I keep before and after photos at my work station. I took an advisor clothes shopping at one point because I kept coming home with too big of clothes. I went from 3x/26W or. Bigger range now about a size 4-6 so it was a big adjustment.

[Yoga lady 49]

I was and still am afraid of shopping- gone from 20-22 to a 10-12 and I want to cry every time I go in a store I am overwhelmed

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

still see the size 20.. feel like I am the fatty that went in for the surgery..

@@NotLookinBack

"funny" how the mind works

in my case i do see the new me (remember i am cute as a button )

i always wore big blue jeans

the first time i realized my weight loss - was after a shower and i turned in the full length mirror and said.....

OMG where is my rear end??

its was gone

don't you see stuff like that??

like your boobs and tummy, arms gone south??

if you don't - it will eventually click

as @☠carolinagirl☠ said - "clothes sizes don't lie"

i don't have many "before" pics

when i look at the old me pics - i get upset/sad - and think was i really that big??

i know there is a special word for what you are describing

dism.........not sure of exact name

but its exactly what you describe about looking in the mirror as the new you - but still seeing the old self

this situation happens to many, common

but i can see you are looking terrrrrific

85 lbs gone!!!

take care

keep up the good work

kathy

congrats

Edited May 14, 2014 by proudgrammy

[MistyAnnMoon829 387]

Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

An individual with BDD has perpetual negative thoughts about their appearance; in the majority of cases, an individual suffering from BDD is obsessed with a minor or imagined flaw. Afflicted individuals think they have a defect in either one or several features of their body, which causes psychological and clinically significant distress or impairs occupational or social functioning. BDD often co-occurs with depression, anxiety, social withdrawal, and social isolation.

Per Wikipedia, lol. I think we all have this to a certain extent.

[CowgirlJane 14,260]

For a long time I had "face dismorphia"

I would be so happy with my body changes but just hated seeing my face. I had it in my mind I needed a facelift or perhaps a bag to wear over my head. Really, I had a pretty negative internal dialog about my looks. My dear friend S would continually tell me what a pretty face I have (no, I didn't ask, he volunteered it!) and i thought he was lying... or just being nice.

Then, it hit me. Last time I weighed under 150# I was 22. I am 49, I look a little older now..haha. I think somewhere deep in my mind I was shocked by seeing the outline of my real face with out my features buried in fat and was shocked that I had aged so much.

My features really changed after losing weight. For example, when obese, my eyes just disappeared. My friend S calls me Betty Boop, partly because I have noticable pretty eyes now... who knew? I thought I looked so old, but my friends tell me I look at least 15 years younger with the weight off.

I have moved into the being comfortable with my looks phase. It takes time. I think photos help as they are more objective. I think it also helps to realize that looks are nice but they are NOT everything and frankly we over-emphasize the subject.

[NotLookinBack 164]

_{Thanks girlies.. It nice to know that I am not the only one.. and that there isn't something 'wrong' with me. I am determined to have the 20lbs off before the end of summer.. I know I can do this.. if I can get through all that I went through to have this surgery then I can do this..}

_{And I will eventually get to the point that I love my body.. I just have to take it a day at a time.. :/}

[crowsnestmama 240]

Ok, I have a couple of things I have done to try (not totally successfully, but it has helped) to vanquish the "former fat girl syndrome".

#1 I go try on (and only try on) smaller clothes, and take pics.

#2 I walk up to random people and turn around, and have my hubby or BFF tell me if they are similar, bigger, or smaller than me. Totally under the radar of course.

#2 has been huge for me. 7 times out of ten I think I'm bigger than someone and I'm told I'm way smaller. It's weird, but I'm getting a little better at it.

Our brains are so weird about this (at least mine is).