Feeling Discouraged and Rejected by Family......Need Advice

[ho11ieberry06 39]

Thank you all for your AMAZING support! I cannot begin to express my sincere gratitude! I have decided to do the surgery alone. I am not going to let this set me back. I need to move forward with my life not backwards. I have put the needs of others before my own for far to long and I owe it to myself to look after ME for once! I'm going into this with a positive outlook and I'm not going to let anything stop me.

In the end, we'll all be there for each other right?!?! Good luck to each and every one of you!

All my best,

Holly

[Movinon 33]

Holly,

Good for you !! It sounds like their will probably be others alone too, make new friends on the ride to Mexico. Keep posting.

[Movinon 33]

MZJAY,

May I ask who your surgeon was ?

[mzjay 30]

MZJAY,

May I ask who your surgeon was ?

Sure! I want through Ready 4a change Dr. Fernando Garcia. I had a very good experience and was well taken care of during my stay. And a speedy recovery

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

In 2012 I started the process of getting surgery. At that time I was going to use my insurance and, as most of you know, there are many hoops to jump through for a 6 month period of time before you even get approved for surgery. Well, I did everything that was required but I wasn't able to lose the weight so I decided to just try to lose it on my own. Even though I was going to go through my insurance and use a Dr. in the U.S. I still researched having surgery in Mexico.

Now fast forward 2 years and I haven't lost any weight and I'm 20 pounds heavier then when I started. So I made up my mind that I really want to have this surgery and I've done a lot more research of having it done in Mexico and will be paying out of pocket. I really don't want to travel by myself so I met with my sister and told her that I was planning to have the surgery in Mexico and I really wanted her to come with me (she already knew about me wanting surgery from 2 years ago and even came with me to some of my appointments) so I felt comfortable asking for her support. She kind of freaked out when I told her and said she needed to talk to her husband about it. I gave her all the materials and research I've done for her to read and told her that I felt comfortable with it. But I understood her reluctance since it was her first time hearing about the Mexico part. Anyway, she has taken 3 weeks to get back to me and finally this morning she called me and told me that her husband doesn't want me to go to Mexico and he doesn't want her to go with me. My heart sank! I have been there for her and her family whenever they needed me. I've taken time off work to care for her when she had foot surgery, to watch her kids, dogs, house etc. and she can't/won't support me with this?

I'm feeling rejected and discouraged. Has anyone been in this situation that when your family found out you were going to have surgery in Mexico they won't support you? And if so, how did you handle it? Just need some uplifting advice.

Holly

Post a topic SLEEVE PARTNER WANTED who is having surgery with Dr. ____ in Mexico in (June). Make it happen. As long as you feel good about the surgery and doctor in Mexico you can do this. I know many friends and relatives who have family they refuse to speak to. Sometimes family is who loves you, not blood related! Best of luck!

[mahickmore 31]

My offer still stands - if your date and Doctor are the same as mine.

[hwy17v 14]

Perhaps if your sister knows that you are going, with or without her, she might change her mind? I had a similar situation with my husband. He told me I was crazy to even think about going to Mexico, and couldn't I just "eat less and exercise more, like normal people do"? Once he realized I was going, with or without him, he said there was no way he would let me go through this alone. He still does not agree with my decision, but he is supporting my decision. I'm a lucky gal. (BTW, my surgery is Monday 19 May with Dr Lopez in TJ. I look forward to meeting anyone else having surgery next week and staying at the Marriott).

Lenae

[Avryv 26]

I didn't tell any of my family or friends until it was done and over with. I traveled with my husband. I am sorry your sister reacted that way. Honestly if you are a pretty strong person I think you could do it yourself. Knowing what I know now I think I could have done it on my own. I was picked up straight from the US airport and dropped back off at the airport. I never once left the hospital to "roam" Mexico. It wasn't like that at all. HUGS to you!

[Avryv 26]

@@hwy17v this makes me laugh because I just booked my airfare and everything! My husband knew I wanted it and he supported it until I booked it and then he was a little upset with me and went on and on about how he couldn't take time off work (it was one day). I had the extra ticket so I told him I didn't care either he was going with me or I would find someone else to go. I didn't budge... He could always take off time to go riding with the guys, to the sand dunes, canyoneering etc. etc. and I was furious he wouldn't go BUT once I stood my ground and didn't change my booking or anything else he caved and ended up coming with me. He was such a huge support to me during the process and even showered me the day after surgery. He looks back at it and feels lousy he ever threw a fit about it. He thought I was crazy but now 5 weeks later he see's what it has done for me and see's he was glad that I didn't take someone else with me.

[Movinon 33]

Hi Guys,

Finally got a surgery date June 27 in Juarez, Mexico and my S.O. is traveling with me... For those of you that may be searching for financing I went through BeLiteWeight.com and achieved financing with a 4000.00 down payment. I will say they are very lenient as I thought I would never get financed. The only thing, be careful, make them repeat prices, and put it in writing, I ended up having to argued and fight for what I was quoted by the facilitator, but I got it done. Hope the surgery goes better.... The surgeon is Dr. Juan Rodriquez and he works out of Star Medica Hospital if you google it you can see lots of Youtube and pictures to research. I will keep you all informed.

Since I am a RN with a strong Infection Control Background I am going to purchase some Hibiclens and scrub my body the night before surgery. This is a good idea for any of you that have any history of post wound infections, and it is a preventative measure........................

[jjinWA 511]

I was lucky enough to get insurance approval and will be having my sleeve surgery on the 17th of June in Washington state. My daughter and I wanted to do this together, but she has a different insurance company and has not jumped all the required hoops yet. We are keeping our fingers crossed in hopes that her approval will eventually come...but... If not I would be there for her if she decides to do this in Mexico. Having the surgery in Mexico is not the scary part for me though. It is the possible complications that may occur after she is back in the states. I talked to the facilitator at my docs office and she told me getting a dr to take on a patient who had the actual WLS in Mexico would be hard to find.... And if such complications created additional cost, would her insurance step up then to pay for the required followup medical care... Or would it be another trip back to Mexico. Any medical care in Mexico is out of pocket and there is only so much money she can throw at this. She is young and does not make a lot of money. It is really sad that even if a doctor recommends the surgery, knowing in the end we would be a healthier person, insurance companies still control the purse and are ultimately the ones who make the decision for us. This is just not right!

[Movinon 33]

jjinWA,

I am a bit nervous about that too. I am just going on prayer that God will take care of everything. Lord knows I can't keep living like this..............

[Travelmego 235]

Hi Guys,

Finally got a surgery date June 27 in Juarez, Mexico and my S.O. is traveling with me... For those of you that may be searching for financing I went through BeLiteWeight.com and achieved financing with a 4000.00 down payment. I will say they are very lenient as I thought I would never get financed. The only thing, be careful, make them repeat prices, and put it in writing, I ended up having to argued and fight for what I was quoted by the facilitator, but I got it done. Hope the surgery goes better.... The surgeon is Dr. Juan Rodriquez and he works out of Star Medica Hospital if you google it you can see lots of Youtube and pictures to research. I will keep you all informed.

Since I am a RN with a strong Infection Control Background I am going to purchase some Hibiclens and scrub my body the night before surgery. This is a good idea for any of you that have any history of post wound infections, and it is a preventative measure........................

Just curious but why the night before? Won't you just pick up contagions between cleaning your body with it and the time of surgery? I know NOTHING about this - first time I have heard of hibiclens.

[mynewbegining2 31]

First I will say I did not tell anyone I was having weight loss surgery in Mexico. I knew I would get a lot of negative advice/comments solely because the surgery would be performed in Mexico. And then you have some that are against WLS period. So fear of rejection kept me from sharing my decision to have the surgery and to have it in Mexico. I am truly sorry to hear that your support system isn't there for you. Sometimes loved ones do not understand that you just want someone to hold your hand and be there without judging. I know it hurts that you were there for your sister, no questions asked and when you ask for the same support it was denied. Maybe she can't be there for the beginning of your journey (surgery) but she can be there for you emotionally and physically when you return? You know help you out around the house/errands for a few days. It is ok, that she will not go with you and for you feel hurt,rejected by her decision.If you have done your research and feel comfortable with having the surgery in another country then do it. Sometimes we just have to turn the radio on and make that trip without a passenger for company. Best wishes whatever you decide.

[CandyPants81 94]

So far the only people I have told are my mother (she's not happy, but she's not being negative about it either...just keeps sending me new diets to try), my husband, and my best friend. My sister, who I am very close with, is very anti-WLS so I'm not telling her until I come back. I also work for a small nonprofit, and I know I'm going to have to tell my coworkers SOMETHING, as there is no way for me to slip off for an hour, let alone two weeks, unnoticed. I mentioned to them many months ago that I was considering WLS, and the response was not positive. Throw Mexico in the mix and I anticipate someone may faint. I still haven't decided what I'm going to tell them yet.

c.