Discouraged and Heartbroken.

[piercedqt78 658]

I didn't read the 5 pages of replies, as I felt they were personal and for you. I will say that I'm a firm believer that cancer is just pure evil. Please take the time to take care of yourself, I know that is hard, but the more you take care of yourself, the more you can take care of your Bear. I lost my father to an inoperable brain tumor when I was 12, and then my grandfather (an angel in my eyes) when I was only 20. Cancer ravaged the men in my life, and it was very hard for me to grieve and let the anger go, it took me several years to allow myself to love my husband, out of fear that he too would leave me too soon.

I believe the coffee maybe a factor in the reflux, there are several low acid coffees on the market, and they really do make a difference. Also ask about protonix, it's cheap, has been around forever and works really great on acid.

I also have a suggestion for the fudgesicles, buy sugar free pudding mix, and make it with almond milk, freeze in popsicle molds and have those, they are only a few calories and really help boost Protein intake. I lived on them during my "whole liquid stage" You could also get the pre-made sugar free puddings and freeze them, they are more limited in flavors, and are about double the portion of a popsicle mold but much easier. I make them for my daughter and her friends, sometimes we layer chocolate and banana, or cheesecake pudding with strawberry and cream pudding. I will make the cheesecake for myself and the girls with crush oreo's into theirs. Since I don't care for oreos (I know I'm un American) I'm not tempted.

Last but not least know that your bariatric family is here, we may be miles away, but we are never more than a keyboard and monitor from you. Prayers and love to your family tonight, and always~Mandy

PS: feel free to email me, my address is in my signature. I'm online and check my mail several times a day. Even if you just need to vent, or want someone to tell you that you are stronger than you realize. (((hugs)))

[Lisa's Hope 421]

I didn't read the 5 pages of replies, as I felt they were personal and for you. I will say that I'm a firm believer that cancer is just pure evil. Please take the time to take care of yourself, I know that is hard, but the more you take care of yourself, the more you can take care of your Bear. I lost my father to an inoperable brain tumor when I was 12, and then my grandfather (an angel in my eyes) when I was only 20. Cancer ravaged the men in my life, and it was very hard for me to grieve and let the anger go, it took me several years to allow myself to love my husband, out of fear that he too would leave me too soon.

I believe the coffee maybe a factor in the reflux, there are several low acid coffees on the market, and they really do make a difference. Also ask about protonix, it's cheap, has been around forever and works really great on acid.

I also have a suggestion for the fudgesicles, buy sugar free pudding mix, and make it with almond milk, freeze in popsicle molds and have those, they are only a few calories and really help boost Protein intake. I lived on them during my "whole liquid stage" You could also get the pre-made sugar free puddings and freeze them, they are more limited in flavors, and are about double the portion of a popsicle mold but much easier. I make them for my daughter and her friends, sometimes we layer chocolate and banana, or cheesecake pudding with strawberry and cream pudding. I will make the cheesecake for myself and the girls with crush oreo's into theirs. Since I don't care for oreos (I know I'm un American) I'm not tempted.

Last but not least know that your bariatric family is here, we may be miles away, but we are never more than a keyboard and monitor from you. Prayers and love to your family tonight, and always~Mandy

PS: feel free to email me, my address is in my signature. I'm online and check my mail several times a day. Even if you just need to vent, or want someone to tell you that you are stronger than you realize. (((hugs)))

Thank you so much Mandy. I appreciate all the great advice. I am taking Dexilant and have tried all the other PPI's which I've tried ALL of them. Dexilant is so expensive but my insurance finally approved the meds. It helps so much better than the rest. I know I need to stop the coffee. I need it but I know it is making the reflux worse but the bile reflux is caused from the motility issues.

Oh thanks so much for the recipes for the fudgesicles!! I definitely will try those. I love and appreciate all of you so much for helping me!! <3

[Lisa's Hope 421]

The love of my life passed away last Sunday at 7:05 pm. His last days were filled with tremendous suffering that haunts me. The better half of my life is gone and I have no idea how to me me without him. Yes life goes on but right now it has stopped for me. Six long months of suffering and yes I know he is with Jesus but I miss him and am selfish and want him back. I'm broken.

[swimbikerun 1,046]

Sending hugs and condolences.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Lisa,

I am so sorry for your loss. Know that we are here for you during this difficult time. Sending prayers your way.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

know that we are all thinking of you.

[Chelenka 827]

Dear Lisa: you have been an incredible source of love, care and comfort to your husband at the end of his life. I believe it is one of the greatest acts of love one can give. You don't feel this way now, in your grief, but you have been and continue to be blessed. You have been an angel of love to your husband and suffered along with him. My heart goes out to you. I pray that God sends you deep and abiding peace and a sense of His unending love for you.

[CrazyJaney 775]

Sending you prayers of strength and comfort. Im so very sorry.

[lsereno 2,525]

Lisa,

My thoughts are with you. Please be gentle with yourself. Everyone gets through grief in their own personal way. There is no one right way.

Lynda

[CowgirlJane 14,260]

I am so sorry. Words don't begin to describe the loss

My younger sister died if cancer at age 39, we had been very close. She suffered mightily, way more than I thought possible. I had trauma from the memory of her pain. Her cancer spread to her bones and she died of her bones collapse onto her organs. I am only sharing this so you know that what you have gone through is huge. Seek some help and support. It took me about 7 years after she died for me to face the trauma aspects and I don't recommend that path.

[2013sleevegirl 126]

So sorry for your loss. Praying for you. Hugs

[tallysfunny 363]

I am incredibly sorry for your loss.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

I am terribly sorry for your loss @@Lisa's Hope. My deepest sorrow and sympathies, and my prayers going out to you for any bit of strength to get through this tragedy. Love, light and hugs...

The love of my life passed away last Sunday at 7:05 pm. His last days were filled with tremendous suffering that haunts me. The better half of my life is gone and I have no idea how to me me without him. Yes life goes on but right now it has stopped for me. Six long months of suffering and yes I know he is with Jesus but I miss him and am selfish and want him back. I'm broken.

[Georgia 2,908]

Lisa, I just read the sad news. I'm so sorry to hear this but I know you are glad he is not in pain anymore. Cancer is truly a horrible disease. I've lost two good friends in recent days to it also.

Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Praying Jesus wraps His arms of peace around you so you can rest.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I am so sorry Lisa. There is no words to describe the pain you must be feeling right now.....To lose such a special person is life changing on its own.

May you find the strength to go on and keep the fond memories of him close to your heart.

My heart aches for you!