Lost Some Weight Still Ugly /Rant

[Gummiebear 0]

Maybe this is just my self esteem speaking. I had a picture taken of myself the other day. I have lost nearly 100 pounds and weigh 170 ish depending on the weather. I feel like I need to lose at least 20 more pounds at least. I have had people tell me I am pretty which I don't know why people say that "just to be nice maybe" But I have to say No matter how much weight I lose I don't think I am going to feel happy about the way I look. I personally feel like I am ugly as all heck. My husband (who's prejudice) thinks I am crazy for thinking this way. I have always avoided taking pictures and I think I will continue to do so. In some ways I think I looked better fatter isn't that sad. At least everything didn't sag all over the place. My face looks like total crap I think it reminds me of a man trying to dress up as a woman. I also still see myself as huge and cant get over that. I am wearing some 12/14 size pants which I should be greatful for right? But I feel like am a size 20 something person. I have stopped eating food completely to lose weight, which I know is bad but I think I am eating maybe 600 calories a day or less. I dont recommend this because I havent lost anything from being this way. I know someone will recommend I talk to a doctor but I am going to see a theropist today. I just wonder if anyone else has experienced anything like this. TTYL

[juliegeraci 7]

Body image is really important. I hope you can improve with therapy. You should love yourself unconditionally. You have done a fabulous job. Besides, you can always have some plastic surgery if needed! Good luck. Julie

[lizrbit 0]

check out an author named SARK. She helped me a LOT. you can see what her books are like over at www.planetsark.com

it might not do anything for you at all...but i found her by accident and she was right what i needed. (all about self acceptance n stuff)

also...

you know perfect is impossible, right? at my thinnest i still had a jlo bottom before jlo they just said we had fat bottoms and no one had dances or songs about it.

i also have a bulbous nose and large bags under my eyes that ive had since i was ten or so.

your not alone. you have us. I think often we think our wieght is our biggest problem and that if we could just lose it, then we would have NO problems and thats not true. You already know that.

please keep us posted as to how things work out okay?

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

large bags under my eyes that ive had since i was ten or so.

You do realize that is likely from allergies, right? If you fix the allergy issue the bags usually go away.

[Marimaru 7]

I think it would help you to decide that people aren't saying things 'just to be nice'. The people telling you that you are pretty probably genuinely think so.

I've been working hard not to get on myself too much for the places where my skin sag. My thighs are... fugly, but that's what shorts are for, and eventually (for me) probably surgery. My sister made a good point to me when I said something like "that's what surgery is for", she said "You should be careful with that, or you'll keep deciding something needs to be fixed and keep going back for surgery", and she's right. So, I've decided on the few places I will be willing to have surgery, and that will be it.

Also, instead of concentrating on the things you don't like, find things you DO like about your new body. I LOVE my feet. It's really bizarre, I'm not a feet person, but I love seeing the definition in my feet now that I never saw before. I hurt my ankle one time a little while back and my foot was all swollen and I freaked out because it looked like it did before! (all puffy, no definition). I don't quite like my hands yet, but they are getting there. I have some skin on my arms, but it's tightening up a bit, and despite the skin, I kind of like my arms sometimes too.

I'm not trying to brag about what I like about myself, I'm trying to give you examples... I hope it makes sense. I think many of us thing we're going to get skinny and feel alot better about everything but we don't consider the physical stuff that skinny people don't like either, you know? As for feeling like you are still a size 20, I SO know what you mean. I'm a 14 now (not quite 14/12 ), and I find myself giving people way more room than they need to get around me, or trying to 'squeeze' into places that have plenty room for me. It's kind of bizarre. One thing to help me with this is to take a recent picture and put it next to an old (rare, of course) picture and see the difference between the 2.

Hope this helps. There's still plenty I don't like about myself, but I'm working on it too.

[conniesueb 1]

I know what you mean--my husband is constantly telling me how hot I am, or calling me skinny--which I'm not, by any means, and it's really hard for me to just say thank you. He gets mad because he says I can't take a compliment, and in a way he's right. I was fat for so long, and in my mind I still am. Even though I've lost 63 pounds, I still see myself as that fat person I was for so long. I'm glad you are seeing a therapist, I think that will really help you. You just have to have faith that people who are telling you that you are pretty really think you are. You have to love yourself above all else. There are always going to be things about our bodies we hate--for me right now it's my arms--I was really looking forward to wearing some cute tank tops this summer, so I have been working like crazy on my arms, but I still have that stuff hanging down and flapping in the breeze! But i am not giving up--I still think that I can make them better before summer gets here, so I will continue to work, work, work on them. I don't care as much about my legs because I won't wear shorts because I have scars all over my legs from having 4 knee surgeries, so I will get some capris instead. But I am slowly learning to accept compliments and learn to like my new, ever-changing body. So, please take whatever help you can get, and make the m,ost of what you have--find something about yourself that you like, and play that up to the fullest. I wish you would post a picture of yourself, cuz I'm sure youa re beautiful!

[LapBandit 5]

Oh yeah...body image. Believe me...this is something that takes awhile to get into your brain! I would get so disqusted by people telling me that they didn't recognize me or that I was looking good because I'd think they were just being nice. It REALLY bothered me enough that I considered talking to a therapist. Until, magically...someone took a candid photo of me. When I looked at it I almost cried. I didn't recognize myself because what I saw in the mirror was the same old 400lb person until I saw that photo. I guess my point is...this comes in time. It takes the brain a long time to catch up!

[neveragain 9]

I have my "fat" days and my "skinny" days, but I, too, can't take a compliment. Why? I have no idea.

[Jachut 487]

I agree with Marimaru's sis, you DO have to be very careful about not using plastic surgery to run away from yourself.

I feel for you, this doesnt sound like its about your weight at all. I'm glad you're going to see a therapist becuase in the end, you have to face the fact that you're YOU and you cant ever be anybody else. So learning to love you is vitally important.