Dating after Weight Loss Surgery

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Haha... okay, I have a couple of stories of "worst dates ever". One was funny and the other a little scary to be honest. The funny one was a guy with extreme OCD and a fatal allergy to shellfish - which of course is what i ordered at the restaurant. That whole evening was a comedy. Then, I met him at a speed dating event...haha. He didn't remember me, but i surely remembered him! Once I reminded him he said, and I quote "I don't remember you looking this good, must be the dim lighting in here". Bless him. haha. Actually, what had changed was i had lost a bit more weight and had major plastics but I love his lack of filter - seriously, you would tell someone they look great, but it must be due to the lack of lighting?

The scary story involved a guy more or less attacking me after a very nice dinner together. I was appalled and shocked... seriously, how do you make it to your mid 50s and not realize how incredibly rude that is.

I created a private group to discuss things, including perhaps giving each other tips on dating site profiles etc which I don't want to post publicly. I have some tips on how I keep my profile relatively private on POF and still find dates! Anyway, try this link and click on "join group". I will need to approve your membership and then you can join this discussion if you wish.

http://www.bariatricpal.com/groups/404-single-and-dating-post-wls/

[Susysleever 265]

I just came home from a one hour date. I told him i wanted to watch the race. Sportsbar. I had iced tea. He was on pof for 6 years. Thats sad. Tired of making small talk. Maybe I'll wait till surgery. Then I'll be chasing those hot scottsdale guys

[atelux17 135]

My favorite Bad date of all time was just recently. I met this guy while I was out doing karaoke with friends. he liked some of my obscure bands, seemed nice, and funny. A med student (my dreams of one day dating a guy who is employed ie self-supporting adult male dashed) I had high hopes.

We went out to an Irish bar the next night. he proceeded to tell me all about rugby for about two hours. He asked me if I liked watching baseball & I said I only really like watching it in person & if there weren't people on cell phones like at Wrigley. He called me a f---ing a-hole. & then tried to kiss me while saying baby talk to me " I want kissies" "u mean". I said didn't think cussing someone out made for a good 1st date. He proceeded to get into my car when I tried to leave& wouldn't leave for 45 min despite being asked to do so. Then, he said w wanted to follow me home. I said absolutely not& that some one else had recently tried to follow me, but my 30 mph u-turn got me out of it. Didn't work this time followed me home. I told him he scared me. Still texted me for a while. Always drive to a police station if u can was the lesson I learned.

I keep having people set me up with people I work with which is uncomfortable for me. It's like dating on a stage & I'm already not used to attention or rather people tying into my personal life. I gotta keep on rambling.

I sparked the debate on men with dead fish in their hands for profile pics. I standby that this has never looked attractive. Maybe if Eric Bana or Ryan Gosling did it & then grilled & served it with an heirloom Tomato salad to me on a yacht?

[cutiepieinchi 158]

So I decided I would attempt dating pre surgery. I went on a date and it was amazinggg. We had dinner and went to Navy Pier. Imagine my shock at the end of the date when he told me I had to pay him $350 . Up the date didn't even cost that much!! I had been talking to this guy for a bit and he knew I was having surgery. All of a sudden he starts messaging me rude things. He told me I was a weakling for having surgery and that I was such a horrid fat person. Worst night of my life! I met him on okcupid by the way.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

cutie, that is weird. What do you supposed his "motivation" in all this was - to scam you of money or ?

[woo woo 872]

I don't understand... was he asking for payment? WTF

[Carol P 29]

I've thought about a handyman too. I bring home the bacon too and it is hard to find a man that isn't intimidated by a successful executive. I’m glad I’m not paying an X any alimony but I did get taken for a lot of dough in a failed business with an X so that probably counts. I’m also waiting to get a little thinner before I start dating. I went out with a few from the Big Beautiful Women site. One didn’t have a photo posted and on our first date he confessed he was married. Another told me he suffered from bipolar disorder and had depression. He said he would take me bowling after he got paid so I passed on dating him. On another first date, a guy invited me home with him and when I refused, he got mad and started calling me names and cussing at me. I’m still not ready to try it again so I’ve been thinking about attending some meetups to see who I can meet through those channels.

[cutiepieinchi 158]

I don't understand... was he asking for payment? WTF

I'm still confused and its a week later

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Ok, I'm old and married and not in the game anymore, but I have a funny computer dating story.

Circa 1979. Freshman year of college. Al Gore had not yet invented the internet. Me, a shy, overweight wallflower sharing a dorm room with a shy, pretty, mousy, serious, petite classmate from my high school.

I'm reading the college newspaper and there's an ad in the classifieds for Computer Dating. How exciting! I talked my roomie into trying it with me. We each sent in the five dollars and received a questionnaire by mail. Tons of questions, like what celebrity do you most resemble? I had no clue. I wrote Carol Burnett. Roomie fills hers out with all serious answers and we mail them back.

A week or so later, we get a phone call from John and his friend Joe (real names long forgotten). They've been matched with us by the computer dating service and called to see if we were interested in meeting for a double date. John was matched with me, and Joe with my roommate. We all passed the phone around for introductory chitchat and agreed to meet for pizza Friday.

Friday we meet two geeky, shy nerds at the pizza place. Talk about awkward. We were all 18 and 19 years old. They were nice enough, and once the ice was somewhat broken, we enjoyed our pizza and beer. You could still drink in Urbana, Illinois at age 18 back in 1979.

Once the beer began to flow, so did the confession. Our Computer Dating Service was John and Joe placing a newspaper ad and trolling for dates on campus.

I was buzzed enough not to be too insulted. We didn't even think of asking for our five dollars back.

The next weekend John called our dorm room. My roomie answered the phone. When I heard her say, "Hi John", I shouted from the bathroom, "I'll be right there!"

But John, my computer date, was calling for my roommate, not for me. Alas, I was not the Carol Burnett he had envisioned.

My roommate went on one solo date with him, but they were both so painfully shy (and she didn't drink) so it ended there.

Gotta give 'em credit for ingenuity.

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

On one of my first online dating experiences, I was "chatting" with a guy by email for about 3 days before he started talking about how we were soulmates. He kept talking about wanting to hear my sexy voice, so I gave him a call. He gave me a sad (garbled bad connection) story about how his job had him out in San Diego and he was at a hotel but had lost his credit card and that he needed $50 to pay the hotel to reinstate his internet so we could keep talking.

On about day 3 -- asking for money. I could have ended up on the Dr. Phil show with all the other women who had been scammed by catfish! lol

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am still seeing the guy i met recently. He seems genuine which for me is huge. I did adjust my standards as far as looks goes because I realized that my holding out for a hottie was leading me to jerks. So I personally think that those of us that are older (i am 49) are so jaded, it really interferes with finding love. Middle age guys that look good have their pick of 30 year olds. My new friend is tall and good looking but a bit of a belly and not the Robert Redford look alike I had been holding out for..haha. so far, good call as he treats me like a princess and I love being around him. We go boating and it's just plain fun!

Me, I just want companionship, a guy to do fun things with, who I enjoy being with. I think clarity of what I wanted helped alot too.

[woo woo 872]

@@JustWatchMe that is a great story! Thanks for sharing. Love it!

[woo woo 872]

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Edited June 2, 2014 by woo woo

[marysminute 20]

Most recent guy we talked on the phone for like 3 hours. He then texts me tells me he loves me...

[Susysleever 265]

Most recent guy we talked on the phone for like 3 hours. He then texts me tells me he loves me...

After a phone call?