85% convinced. How do I get to 100%?

[Tootles1975 59]

Hi all,

I'm brand new to the forum (though I've been lurking and reading the past month or so). I'm 38 and 339 pounds. I've been heavy my whole life, since childhood, and 10+ years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. I also have poor circulation and edema in my legs that necessitates wearing medical compression stockings all the time. I've successfully lost 75 lbs (on a low carb diet of my own design) in 2002 and 60 pounds (on Weight Watchers in 2012) in the past, but eventually gained back all of the weight plus the first time and most of the weight the second time around. I'm finding it harder to keep my fasting blood sugar numbers under control and I know it will only continue to get even more difficult as I age.

My PCP recommended I look into WLS two months ago. I've been researching since then and attended the seminar on April 9. I've learned a lot, and rationally, I know the surgery is my best chance at a healthier future. I have a good friend who was about the same weight (less health issues but knew they were coming) and had bypass surgery 3 years ago and has been the picture of success -- lost half her body weight and has kept it off, has had zero complications, has no food restrictions, looks and feels great. She's been a big inspiration.

But...the dreaded butt...I fear that I will be that person who has horrible, life-threatening complications. I also fear that I won't be able to conquer the emotional attachments I have to food and will feel deprived and restricted eventually after the honeymoon stage wears off. (I'm also looking into ways to recognize and break down those emotional ties and triggers now.) It even makes me a little sad to think that I won't if I wanted to be able to eat a huge meal on a holiday or a special occasion. The idea that the rest of my life will not be the same is both exhilarating AND frightening.

Before I saw my friend's success with my own eyes, I don't think I would've even considered surgery. It still scares me sometimes to think about the long-term possibilities of basically chopping off more than half my stomach. I've read that people who have an easy time for it for the first five or even ten years, sometimes have terrible problems after that.

I know a lot of people say the risks are worth the misery of being fat. I don't know that I've ever considered myself to be miserable though. I've certainly had many terrible moments because of my size over the years, but overall, I've always been a fairly confident person, I'm happily married. I feel I've lived a pretty happy, successful life thus far. I dieted off and on over the years but mostly off to be honest, and only with any real conviction on two occasions (mentioned above)--both of which were prompted by bad medical news that scared me. Part of me feels like maybe I should have struggled more/tried harder before attempting surgery, despite intellectually knowing that dieting is a losing game for most obese and esp. super obese folks. I wonder if I need to want this more to be really successful at it.

I'd say I'm about 85%, maybe 90% on the best days, convinced that I need to do this. How do I get to 100%? Do I even need to get there? Or do you just have to recognize that this is the best option you can take to ensure better health and push the remaining fear aside and take that leap of faith?

I'd love to hear your stories of how you finally made the decision to do this. Thanks.

[Recycled 2,182]

I'll give you two. First you said you've been overweight since you were 10. And that you don't know if you ever considered yourself miserable being overweight. Miserable?? How about ecstatic? Energetic, Self confident, Happiest time in your life.......I could go on and on. You're entire adult life and a whole side of living yet to experience.

Second, you might never get to experience that whole other side of life. I had a heat attack and it woke me up. It's time for you to wake up too. Good luck with your decision.

[BigGirlPanties 957]

My sister has the full gastric done over 10 years ago (and has two healthy children since then)... for me there was no "buts" about it...I WAS IN!!! When I was approved, I would have done a happy dance, if I could have moved...I have RA ...which was a vicious cycle... couldn't lose weight because I couldn't move, needed to lose weight because of my RA and to get new knees (eventually)...

I have felt this good in soooo long, I wish I could have done this sooner.

The pros far outweigh (no pun intended) the cons!!!

You have to get there yourself...but, imo, this surgery is the best choice... especially for all you have listed here, this should help you immensely!

Good luck .

Edited May 6, 2014 by BigGirlPanties

[Terribj 208]

What happens if you don't do it? You continue to live as you always have - only you can decide to make the change.

If you could live the life of being sleeved just for one week - how it feels to look in the mirror,and truly SMILE, how it feels to try on a pair of pants that were tight last week and loose this week, how it feels to have your husband hold you tight and FEEL how much you've lost, how it feels to step on the scale and see 2-5 pounds gone per week, and to me, best of all how it feels to not be a slave to food - you would have 0 second thoughts. You wouldn't be at 100% - you would be at 110% and saying why didn't I do this sooner????

[cryss 96]

I went through the same process. It is a big, scary process. Practically speaking, I would imagine your odds are greater of getting seriously hurt on your commute to work than with this process. Lightnight does strike, yes.... but for me I decided that I would lesson the chance of it striking me in a bad way by undergoing WLS from the simple statistical analysis of the health issues we WILL encounter. Its not a matter of "if", but "when" the decide to come to roost. Just my fifty cents

[marysminute 20]

I'm at line 50% now... I'm 28 and feel like I don't want to ruin my life feelings. I also want to know how do you know, really know...

[cryss 96]

I wonder if something to consider here is that sometimes we must make educated and calculated risk efforts, rather than wait for it to feel 100% correct. For me, I can think of many times where the most important decisions were not only scary, but made without waiting for the fluffy happy feelings, as much as I wanted them and sought them. I do believe, however, that even with the best educated and informed decision - and subsequent action, timing is everything. For me, again, I try to develop a relationship to an idea or action, as only with that can I be effective in my walk. WIth an established relationship with it, I will be walking into any unfamilar terrortory (sic) with a proverbial familar friend. In my case, the more I read stats, and books, and talked to people, the easier the decision to execute was.

Edited May 6, 2014 by cryss

[BigGirlPanties 957]

@marysminute why do you say "ruin my life"??? Almost everyone has positive things to say... there have been a few that have had some problems...mostly in the beginning, but once that's over, they are all glad they did it.

You are the only one that will know when you are ready for this, no one can tell you... just like going on a diet, stop smoking, or any other "vice or addiction"... you have to be ready to change.

The surgery is a tool that helps you get there, but you still have to do some work to get it to work...

research, learn, and you will be ready...good luck

[ziggypbang 272]

Tootles,

I hope you can come to peace with your decision, one way or another. I have been SO pleased with mine so far. I will say that I applaud your doctor for beginning this conversation with you. Some docs have been reluctant in the past, but with the publication of a new study in March about the long-term success rates in diabetes control with surgical intervention, I think more docs will begin to come around. I don't know if your doc referenced the new study, but it was published in the New England Journal of Medicine on March 31. Basically, your chance of getting an a1c at 6.0 or below increases by 750% with gastric bypass, and nearly 500% with a gastric sleeve. This means you have a dramatically improved chance of living a normal-length life and not having heart issues, diabetic complications or even cancers at a young age.

In response to your specific concerns:

".I fear that I will be that person who has horrible, life-threatening complications." This is rare. I'm glad actually I didn't know about all the complications before I jumped in with both feet! But there is no guarantee, you're right. The vast, vast majority of people recover extremely well, and even those that don't are usually glad in the long-term they made the choice.

"I also fear that I won't be able to conquer the emotional attachments I have to food and will feel deprived and restricted eventually after the honeymoon stage wears off. (I'm also looking into ways to recognize and break down those emotional ties and triggers now.)" I am only 5 1/2 months out, so there is still some honeymooning going on, granted, but I've had this time to acknowledge that my body can survive very well on SO much less food than I used to stuff it with! This has been a growing experience mentally, psychologically and emotionally. I feel a lot more like the person I truly am, and less of a slave to every drive-thru I pass! I did enjoy a Starbucks with hubby today (Skinny Caramel Crunch Frapuccino- I indulged in the crunch but went sugar-free/fat free with the rest!) and it was gloriously filling! This was really a treat for me and I enjoyed it so much! I watched hubby eat a cheese danish and didn't even care. cheese danishes used to be my kryptonite! (among 8,000 other foods!) I do have food addiction issues yet. Those are not cured. But I am reading a book now called 50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food. It's great for addicts like me. Not easy, but great. I am focusing on the emotional attachments and taking notes as I read! I still have head hunger, but I'm dealing. On Sunday I dealth with my head hunger with 2 bites of white chocolate bread pudding with caramel sauce and salted pecans. I lived through it! One day at a time!

"It even makes me a little sad to think that I won't if I wanted to be able to eat a huge meal on a holiday or a special occasion. The idea that the rest of my life will not be the same is both exhilarating AND frightening." Here's where I wouldn't worry at all! Your idea of what constitutes a 'huge' meal will change so dramatically after surgery. You will learn that if you want to eat some pumpkin pie or sweet potatoes or whatever, you have to leave room for it. You literally just need to plan ahead and not eat a bunch of turkey if you want to eat other things. It's just like packing a smaller suitcase so you can fit it in the overhead compartment of your flight. You just have to choose the stuff you REALLY want to take with you.

Blessings on your decision!

[cryss 96]

Really like what you said, Ziggy!

[marysminute 20]

I have a rare brain disease. Some doctors are saying weight fluctuation is the cause of it. It's always been the consensus that obesity was the cause but there's thin people with it. I'm terrified it will get worse from surgery. I'm scared I'll end up with stomach problems. I suppose I don't have much of a normal life now, I'm looking for a normal life post surgery. I want kids. Hope it's possible to do that after having surgery

[healthyme1963 136]

I don't believe any single one of us came to the decision to have WLS lightly. It is a huge, life-altering procedure and is permanent. I went back and forth for several months (after attending the information session) swinging between 'do it/don't do it'. I just know that for me, I was having health issues that finally helped make the decision for me. I knew that I couldn't lose the weight on my own and accepted, even relished, the decision to drastically change my lifestyle.

Think about where you might be physically in a year or two. Is it any better than where you are at right now? If not, then think on it some more, do more research, talk to your doctors more and talk to friends who have gone through it. If, and when, you decide you are ready, I wish you the best of luck and great success!

[marysminute 20]

It's just if/when the meds fail (which I think they are starting to) the next step is having brain surgery. The brain surgery is way worse than stomach surgery. There's lots of revisions and needing lots of more surgeries... I could potentially have wls and still need brain surgery... But time will tell.

[SugarFreeMe 293]

I know this is a hard decision to come to terms with, but for me it was a no brainer. After watching several family members die from heart disease, cancer and other medical problems I knew when I was diagnosed in Nov-13 with high blood pressure, high cholesterol and type 2 diabetes that i needed to do this and I couldn't wait any longer. The night before my surgery I took my last diabetes and high cholesterol meds. My A1C has gone from 7.9 to 6.4 in one month and i'm no longer considered a diabetic. After a month my cholesterol numbers are withing normal ranges. High blood pressure I'm told may take longer to correct, but if I only have to be satisfied with 2 out of 3, I'm so okay with that. WLS is a very personal decision that only you can make with the assistance of your support system, your PCP and your surgeon. Best of luck to you in whatever you choose.

[Andrew0929 1,101]

You've described me before surgery, both in your description of your history and apprehension about the surgery.

Although I had a complication, internal bleeding and a second surgery, I would do it again even if I knew about the second surgery beforehand.

I'm down about 114 pounds in 5 months, went from 9 meds to 1, and don't remember ever feeling this good in my entire life .

Give this option some serious consideration.