Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Friend said she's disappointed



Recommended Posts

I agree that you handled it perfectly. But these comments are exactly why I don't tell ANYONE that I had it.

I was talking to a friend of mine... we have a mutual friend who had the lap band and is very vocal about her journey on her Facebook page. He went into the same rant about how it's cheating, taking the easy way out, etc.... he would never say that to her face. So I feel like even though people would say to my face "Oh good for you!" they will probably be just as quick to talk about me behind my back and spread MY story to anyone who would listen.

It's no one's business but mine. I choose to keep it to myself. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your friend sucks!! Sorry #notsorry it's the truth. Ignorance is just that - keep you head held high and do your thing sister! You will have lots of support here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On Sunday I had a communion party for my son. It's the first time I've seen a lot of family and friends since post op - 60 pounds ago. I tried to talk to my best friend about having surgery a few months ago but she was very vocal about how terrible she thinks it is, etc. I made a decision not to tell her and Sunday was the first time I saw her. She was excited to see me , we hugged and she said I look great , what am I doing. So I told her that I had sleeve surgery in February. Her attitude changed immediately. She told me how disappointed she is with me that I chose this route instead of putting in hard work and that I'm cheating. I smiled and told her this was a decision for me and the best thing I've ever done for myself. I told her that I'm happy and hope she can be happy for me. I assured her that this is in no way cheating and it's hard. How do you handle criticism from family and friends about your choice?

How do you handle situations like this? Exactly like this!!! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

<p>Thanks guys. It was definitely a WTF moment. She's heavy too and we've done a lot of programs together in the past like WW, gym, and even going to a diet Dr. for pills, etc. This is a journey I took solo and I think like what some of you said that it's more about her than me. I'm choosing to view it this way and will see how things go. I'll see her this Friday just the two of us, so hopefully I'll get a better sense of her attitude. Either way I'm moving forward, getting healthy, and feeling good.</p>

You did better than I would have cuz she would of had a WTF moment...how she disappointed and she still heavy...hmmmm...research is the key ...b4 opinions need to be given....;-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You handled that great... I'm very short tempered especially with family and friends ... I would have went off ... So hopefully the surgery coming soon for me may help me lower my guard

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, what surprises me the most about this story is that I would NEVER criticize someone for a decision when it is too late, cannot be undone - I mean what is the point? Even if she was "right" it's not like you can get your previous oversize stomach back.

I think you handled it very well ... if it were me, not sure I would want to associate with her because seems like she could really be a negative force especially if you ever run into frustrations or problems (stalls etc)

I have been blessed with people who are either openly supportive or have the decency to keep their mouths shut.

BTW, I didn't tell my extended family in advance of the surgery. I told them afterwards, by email. I asked for their support and told them I understood not everyone would agree with my choice - and they could please keep that to themselves. I got a lot of congrats, good decision, good luck... and some silence. After about a year, the silent ones finally spoke up and said something like "I didn't feel comfortable that you did this, but i am so happy to see how successful you have been"

Truth is, they don't need to agree, they just need to not be an obstacle or detractor of my success. Friends and family should support us or at least not try to derail us...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You handled it well. Some friend( rolling of the eyes). Jealous.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LadyVeteran1

      Sleeve surgery is on April 14th.  I am counting the days!!  Can't wait!
      · 3 replies
      1. Brookie2shoes

        Me too girl!! Are you in the full liquid diet right now? It’s sooooo hard!

      2. LadyVeteran1

        Not yet. I was told I only have to do 24 hours of a liquid diet. But I have my pre-op tomorrow so I’m going to confirm if I need to do longer.

      3. buildabetteranna

        Your so close now! It's gonna be great :) Wishing you a speedy recovery and looking forward to seeing how it goes!

    • buildabetteranna

      Down 33 lbs and slightly stalled, but I'm gonna reevaluate and push through. I started back to work last week after 2 years of being disabled due to mental health as well as my weight. It's a great job and I'm just so happy to have this opportunity at a second chance at life. Hope everyone is having their best journey ❤️ Together, we got this!
      · 2 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Great work Anna! Keep it up 😁

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
      · 1 reply
      1. stevieoriole

        Am feeling this right now. My surgery date is 4/1. Sign the consent tomorrow. I feel like I overloaded myself with too much info, too many opinions. Got to the point where I was wondering if I should do this. Then I thought of my reasons for taking this step and that settled my nerves. Still get moments of doubt but am striving forward. Am just going to follow my book from the surgeon. Joined this because I was told by my dietician that I should do this for support

    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×