Chubalicious 15 Posted May 4, 2014 You're I had the same fears about being criticised for choosing weight loss surgery. And I didn't want anyone to know I was doing it. But I finally went through with the surgery after asking myself 2 questions I use when making a major decision: 1. Do I want to be in this situation a year from now? 2. What am I willing to do to get out of this? It took me 20+ years before I realized I was not going to be able to lose weight on my own. And yes, it felt like a failure on my part. After all, we've been conditioned by TV, movies, parents, and our role models to believe that we can do anything we want if only we'll put in the effort. It was the toughest decision of my life. And I even backed out on my 1st attempt. But it was also the best decision I've ever made. I have no easy answer as to how to deal with the fear of being criticized. I can only tell you that once I made the final decision, I was committed in my mind and I was ready to tell anyone that didn't like it they could do a "cranial rectal inversion!" cranial-rectal-inversion.jpg awesome...the more encouragement I read the more I have the strength to stand up to those who are stupid!!! cranial-rectal-inversion.jpg Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
par1959 470 Posted May 4, 2014 Ask them," is having a bypass the easy way out when one has heart disease"? 3 1Day1Life4Now, Chubalicious and Roo101769 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chubalicious 15 Posted May 4, 2014 Don't they ask where you were, or why you look smaller? I work for the disability dept at my work place and when I return to work the forms I enter from disability will come through there the office...I work in a place where everything is "confidential" and let me tell you...nothing is confidential...so I figure they will know anyways...granted they cant ask me but they know. My family and I are tight.. There is nothing easy about WLS. I educated the people I told before they could form a negative opinion because I know what is best for me. If they ever bring up the word easy to me I will ask if they truly think having 85% of your stomach removed and permanently changing your food in take is easy. What about drinking your meals for a month? What about constantly making sure you have enough Protein in your diet or that you are taking your myriad of Vitamins everyday? What about giving up soda and beer for life? Not to mention all NSAID pain relievers which have always been the only pain meds that have worked for me? And besides that to be truly successful with this I still have to exercise like any other person on a weight loss journey... So please enlighten me on which part of this is easy? If someone says that to you again you should let them know that having that mindset it taking the easy way out by not recognizing that it took a lot of research and hard work even to make the brave decision that you did. i didn't tell anyone other than my husband. not even my children. It's nobody's business. There was nothing easy about the surgery. I did fine with it….first three day were not easy. There is something to be said about "silence is golden"! Wait didn't people wonder why you were smaller? or why you were out of work for that long? I work for the Disability Dept at my work place...and everything there is "confidential", but nothing is confidential ..if you get what I mean....they will know about my medical procedure but not allowed to ask...but I figure I'd tell them...they don't matter to me...I think the more I answer sleevers response the stronger and thicker is my skin!!! thanks so much for sharing!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chubalicious 15 Posted May 4, 2014 Thanks...that's AWESOME!!! Ask them," is having a bypass the easy way out when one has heart disease"? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chubalicious 15 Posted May 4, 2014 omg!!! THAT'S AWESOME!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! There is nothing easy about WLS. I educated the people I told before they could form a negative opinion because I know what is best for me. If they ever bring up the word easy to me I will ask if they truly think having 85% of your stomach removed and permanently changing your food in take is easy. What about drinking your meals for a month? What about constantly making sure you have enough Protein in your diet or that you are taking your myriad of Vitamins everyday? What about giving up soda and beer for life? Not to mention all NSAID pain relievers which have always been the only pain meds that have worked for me? And besides that to be truly successful with this I still have to exercise like any other person on a weight loss journey... So please enlighten me on which part of this is easy? If someone says that to you again you should let them know that having that mindset it taking the easy way out by not recognizing that it took a lot of research and hard work even to make the brave decision that you did. 1 MissME reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chubalicious 15 Posted May 4, 2014 So true people don't understand other people story or struggles!!! Thanks for responding!!! love positive feed back!! C'mon......it's just the idea of people not understanding the whole story that is really bugging us about that "Easy" crack. In truth, losing the weight is easier than any efforts I made before......not to mention I'm actually changing my lifestyle and eating healthy this time. OK, OK..... I know there is the whole "life risking" surgery thing and recovery pain and mini meals and no gulping and tenny bites and chewing endlessly and loss of taste and and and. Plus there is still that reality that I have to change my eating habits to eat less......and healthy and exercise and take Vitamins and pretty much everything that any other weight loss would entail........So where is the easy part. Who cares what anybody says or thinks. You not going to change their minds or way of thinking. All I care about is reaching my goal and regaining my health and my life. Convincing others of how I got there is of no consequence. When someone comments to me about the Easy way out.....I just say....."Yep, I shoulda done it years ago" 1 skinnygirlwithin reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Teachamy 1,042 Posted May 5, 2014 If this happened to me, I would tell people to do some research and come to me with questions. (After I tell them to F*%K off!) 3 RJ'S/beginning, 1Day1Life4Now and skinnygirlwithin reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Divadee35 47 Posted May 5, 2014 Hi All!!! People can be evil!!! even Love ones!!!! I have type 2 diabetes, kidney issues, liver issues, and I'm 33. I want to LIVE LONGER for my husband and child. I will do this surgery no matter what!! But why do folks feel the need to say " Oh you taking the EASY WAY OUT" ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! That strikes a nerve in the worst way!!!! Is it really the easy way...because last I checked being overweight since I was 5 has been difficult! Having any surgery is not a walk at the park....especially recuperating... Having this disease is NOT AT ALL EASY!!!! if LOSING WEIGHT AND EATING HABITS would disappear than fine that would be easy but it's NOT! This time around I'm hesitant to tell folks what I'm doing because of the STUPID comments...... Your thoughts please!!! Make your haters your motivators, people are going to talk! I'm may 7th and I'm excited! 2 1Day1Life4Now and BeagleLover reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nfdprincess 3 Posted May 5, 2014 <p>Hi All!!! People can be evil!!! even Love ones!!!! I have type 2 diabetes, kidney issues, liver issues, and I'm 33. I want to LIVE LONGER for my husband and child. I will do this surgery no matter what!! But why do folks feel the need to say </p> <p> </p> <p> " Oh you taking the EASY WAY OUT" ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! That strikes a nerve in the worst way!!!!</p> <p> </p> <p>Is it really the easy way...because last I checked being overweight since I was 5 has been difficult! Having any surgery is not a walk at the park....especially recuperating... Having this disease is NOT AT ALL EASY!!!! if LOSING WEIGHT AND EATING HABITS would disappear than fine that would be easy but it's NOT! </p> <p> </p> <p>This time around I'm hesitant to tell folks what I'm doing because of the STUPID comments......</p> <p> </p> <p>Your thoughts please!!!</p> Hi I use to think it was the easy way out. Also and wouldn't do the surgery. I had the surgery 2 months ago and it definitely is not the easy way out u have to change your whole life because of the surgery don't let anyone bring u down about the surgery I had a lot of complications and I still would do the surgery again good luck 3 RJ'S/beginning, 1Day1Life4Now and BeagleLover reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RJ'S/beginning 5,358 Posted May 5, 2014 I for one have been very grateful to this so called easy way out...Without this surgery I would not be who I am today...Yes much smaller but I have much more compassion and understanding of the underlying issues for myself and others that struggle with eating disorders and life in general.... When I came home from hospital a nurse said that I really didn't lose 70 lbs. The hospital lost them for me during my five month stay with complications. Later the same nurse said that I took the easy way out.... Later I found out that they were working with a very large man and not encouraging him to do something about it....He died...I was horrified...A life snuffed out because of ignorance... It is up to us to decide for ourselves if this is the best choice for us. Hang the rest...I am a live not dead like others when professionals did not do their job which is to help people when they are ill, sick or dying. I had the chance to change and I took it. It is sad to me that others were not given the same options and paid for it with their life! 4 1Day1Life4Now, Roo101769, erieb2healthy_2014 and 1 other reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Terribj 208 Posted May 5, 2014 Someone said "easy way out" to me other day. So I turned the tables a little and agreed. I said, "you are right--I did. Why would I want to put myself through years and years of defeat, frustration and failure? I tried that and look where it got me - NOWHERE. Why would I continue to fight the same losing battle I have for the past 40 years? Yes, you are right - easy. I had 80% of my stomach removed. I can only eat 2-4 oz of food at a time. I have changed my lifestyle completely, not to mention my family changing theirs to support me. I have to take a variety of Vitamins and supplements daily, most likely in a couple months my hair will begin to fall out unless I ensure I eat enough Protein. This easy way out something I have committed to do for the rest of my life and have to be on the top of my game EVERY DAY. So, what have you done for yourself lately that was this EASY??? I don't know if they got the point or not, but I sure do feel better 7 1Day1Life4Now, erieb2healthy_2014, Pkdvm and 4 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Katcloudshepherd 630 Posted May 5, 2014 Terribj, I've printed out your response and I'm going to memorize it. I'll be traveling to my home state of Michigan in July to attend my nieces wedding. I haven't visited there since 2009. The only family members I have told about the surgery were my two sisters. I don't know what to expect but I want to be prepared for someone making that utterly ignorant statement--"the easy way out". I hope I live to see the day where obesity is understood to be a life-threatening disease just like cancer or heart disease. I surely hope I live to see the day when people can see that it certainly is NOT lack of willpower, lazyness or lack of discipline that brought me to the point of having WLS. Obesity is just as fatal as cancer or heart disease or any of a myriad of others. In many instances, it just takes longer to kill you. Kathleen 2 Terribj and 1Day1Life4Now reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BryBro63 410 Posted May 5, 2014 I made a comment on this very subject in another thread...when someone made the comment to me about taking the 'EASY ROUTE', and they told me that I was 'CHEATING"...I told them that I didn't realize there was a 'contest', and the only thing I'm cheating is I'm cheating DEATH!!! Also, there's nothing at all 'EASY' about what we're doing, and it's all being done for the right reasons!!! And from what I am reading from everyone here, trying to stay healthy, improving your situation health-wise and everything sounds about as right as it can get!!! 3 Georgia Pritchett, skinnygirlwithin and 1Day1Life4Now reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skinnygirlwithin 693 Posted May 5, 2014 I told them that I didn't realize there was a 'contest', and the only thing I'm cheating is I'm cheating DEATH!!! LOVE THIS!!! you ROCK! 1 BryBro63 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bobby46 327 Posted May 5, 2014 I have a 23 yr old niece who is a dietician and a certified personal trainer. Her opinion is that everyone is lazy and has no self control and it disgusts her. Young and ignorant. She has voiced her opinion many many times....indirectly, she knows better than to comment to my face. I love her dearly but she is the last person I will tell until it is long over. I really don't care what anyone has to say otherwise. I have been dealing with ignorant people my whole life. I gave up letting them control the way I feel about myself a long time ago. (I'm not a Saint....it pisses me off! But I let it go) I really just want to have the surgery and get on with my life.....A better happier, healthier more active more engaged life. But I hope that my niece....and every other smartass will see in the end that surgery is the absolute best decision for a lot of people. That life isn't black and white. And we can achieve the same goals by traveling a different road. 6 RJ'S/beginning, 1Day1Life4Now, skinnygirlwithin and 3 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites