Not sure how I feel about this

[Mikee57 699]

JustWatchMe...when I read your posts I feel like I am reading a novel...so well put together and said!!! I am rethinking alot about what I say to folks...because I am not losing like others on here, but I do feel that some look at me with that oh so you've lost that much look and say WOW that means you weighed in at ??? so lately outside of a few folks that care about me nothing more is said. I do post on here when I make small achievements though...like this weekend was my first ride on my new trike. My biggest fan (my hubs) though said something before we left the house to go for our ride...that he didn't know why I was so excited, since after I take this ride that will be it...I'll just put the trike up and not want to get on it again. I did something that I have never done before and that was I told him..."you know what honey, you are suppose to be here to support me through this, actually you promised me you would be, and now you are talking all this negative?" "well guess what negative beget negative and I don't need to hear that!!!" we went for our ride and he didn't do so well, I did my mile and then had to go back to find him...I felt so badly for him, but couldn't help thinking in the back of my mind and you said I couldn't do it!!! but I helped him up and drove back and that made another 1/2 mile...so I felt really good. I know that is far from your topic, but actually it isn't. I don't do compliments well...after losing and gaining and losing and gaining all my life I merely stay clear of those that would say anything. because to me once they said it I would be going right back to my old behavior-because I didn't want to be noticed. I really don't care what folks think about me any longer...this surgery and my new band life has made me a different person. compliments are okay, but I say thank you and move on...tell only those I feel like telling when that occasion occurs. you are a very special person and I look forward to reading your posts...so you GO...I think you are doing perfectly both in your band life as well as your responses...I wouldn't have been able to think up anything near what you responded. so I can relate as many on here have already said...and thanks for making us all rethinking about how to respond to those around us-who will notice, have noticed and to even those who haven't said a word. your confidence just booms out from your post. hope you have an awesome day!!! take care!!!

[gowalking 10,790]

Beautiful post. And yes...it makes perfect sense. I too just want folks to let it go and for me to stay this size so that it becomes normal and no one thinks about the fat me. I'm actually making it my business to see people who I haven't seen since the hip surgery just to get the shock and comments over with. Then hopefully, we can all move on.

OK folks. I hope you take this in the spirit in which it's intended. I'm still laughing over what my friend said to me yesterday. Like I wrote above, this was a friend I haven't seen in a year so I expected him to make comments about the change in me but what I didn't expect was when he looked hard at me for the upteenth time and said, 'Lizzy, I swear...if I was straight, I'd do you in a hot minute'. I bet no one has gotten that comment yet. LOL!

[crowsnestmama 240]

OK folks. I hope you take this in the spirit in which it's intended. I'm still laughing over what my friend said to me yesterday. Like I wrote above, this was a friend I haven't seen in a year so I expected him to make comments about the change in me but what I didn't expect was when he looked hard at me for the upteenth time and said, 'Lizzy, I swear...if I was straight, I'd do you in a hot minute'. I bet no one has gotten that comment yet. LOL!

THAT IS AWESOME!!!!!

[Mikee57 699]

NO GOWALKING I HAVE TO SAY YOU ARE THE ONE AND ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT HAS GOTTEN HIT ON BY A GAY GUY...HE SOUNDS SO SWEET!!! PICK ME UP OFF THE FLOOR LOLRH!!!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Thanks, mikee. You inspire me with every post. You guys are all the best!

[relief57 53]

I can relate. I didn't tell anybody at work (except one of the nurses just in case of emergency) and thought twice about telling my BFF basically for the same reasons. I didn't want the constant observations. I know it will come and i will get questions but, I think you handled it very well. You told the truth. That is what I planned to do. You are absolutely right the band is a tool for constant accountability to keep us focused. We can still override it and revert back to our old ways.. On Easter Sunday my niece took a picture of me with the dog and posted it on Facebook. It was not very flattering and I looked huge. I was comforted by the fact that in a few months I can post a new and improved picture with less of me. So don't worry about people remembering that you were a big girl. Just let them be amazed.

Good to hear of your success and keep up the good work.

[JanetPRN 496]

"I think it's hard to hear compliments sometimes because they can almost feel like an insult to our former selves. They say "Oh you look so good, your face is so much thinner" and you hear "you looked horrible before and had a fat face." Just remember 90% of the time that's not what people are saying."

I seriously struggle with this on a daily basis. My ears hear a compliment but my crazy brain hears a slam about my former physique, regardless of the intention. I am fairly close to my goal, and I cringe any time someone asks how weight I have lost. Don't get me wrong , I am thrilled with my sleeve. My weight was always a private topic and I'm not sure I will ever get used to people discussing it with me.

I tried to explain this to my husband, but he doesn't get it. I am glad others on this forum understand.

[deener0628 1]

I have lost a lot of weight before as many of us have...I actually became bitter because i was treated so differently. Why am I ok to talk to now? I'm the same person I was before? I don't get it. An associate even told me "I liked you better when you were fat" after turned him down. Its amazing how different 1. People see you, and 2. How you're treated.

I like to think Im older and wiser now and my truth now? I could give 2 $#@ts what anyone says or thinks. Their opinion is none of my business, just as my decisions are none of theirs.

I'm days away from my insurance approval and ready to set my surgery date. Im ready and waiting. I will have no bitterness this time around...only happiness for my health and quality of life. Im not aiming to please anyone but myself & if my friends and family are with me...all the better. If not, life has a way of working itself out. I wish everyone the best and to embrace happiness instead of reaction. This is my plan.

You sound so much like me. I weighed 200 lbs in 1998 so I started taking Phen Fen. I lost 40 lbs and my husband, who for the past 10 years of our marriage was rather cold and distant, wanted to be intimate. I said, "WTF? I wasn't !@#$worthy until now? No thanks!" He weighed 300 lbs but I loved and wanted him the same since the day we married. I now weigh 228 lbs but am with someone who adores me no matter what my size is. I am at a place where I know losing the weight is for me and not anyone else. If people ask, I will tell them about the surgery because I am a very down to earth and open person. If someone doesn't recognize me after I lose the weight I will take it as a HUGE compliment because I am not particularly happy with the way I look now but I do love myself, I am worthy, I am ready and I don't give a flying !@#$ if people don't like me. Wisdom with age gives that to me.

[Rovobay 920]

another side to wls to consider is how to deal with the comments. it was nice to see how so many dealt with comments. I am pretty quite about my personal life and don't think I will tell anyone. I think my game plan would be the hard work, high Protein, low carb approach. Only time will tell.