How to tell new boyfriend ?

[Bandista 7,466]

Well the door is open now and it's time for some honesty. Withholding info is one thing but making something up is another. You will be relieved to build some trust. Ask him if he will still want you when your thinner. He will! And the whole band thing is so fascinating -- he will be curious how it works. Not restriction, but signaling the brain for satiety, a signal that so many have lost. Let him know you want to be healthy. He will be glad!

[rosettag 122]

I don't like the idea of this terrible deed staining my fresh new relationship that is so wonderful.

Nothing terrible has happened.It is only a white lie.You were / are not ready to tell him.

You are not hiding a husband waiting at home with four children!

The ring around your stomach does not make you and your relatioship different..

Or, if it does, it can only make it better.

Be serene and enjoy the second gift life is giving you. (I mean, your band and your sweetie).

Best of luck!!!!

[marfar7 1,533]

I'm not understanding why everyone has to hide it. I dated about 4 yrs ago (after losing 75 lbs from my 2009 band) and told every single man I ever had a meal with (saw no reason for just coffee dates). It was something I was proud of. And I never heard a bad remark, only encouragement (and one guy asked me if I could take it out - chubby chaser for sure) and positivity.

When I became intimate with my now husband of 2 1/2 yrs, he poked and played with my port, calling my band my "contraption" and asked if it hurt. It does get bigger as u lose weight (it's out now, sleeve revision 10 mths ago - but I still have scar tissue) and it starts to look like an alien. Not sure how ur gunna tackle that one if he doesn't yet know.

I'm open about my wls's and have never received a negative comment about it. Some people have questions, some people could care less. I have 5 scars (they did my revision with the same scars I had from band) and there's no way anyone would believe they were from my appendix. At least any rational person.

Just not sure why everyone feels they have to hide it from everyone. I understand the scrutiny u may feel, people watching u eat, but to me thats extra incentive to eat smart. ood luck with ur relationship.

[SecretBander 79]

Update :

I told him on Saturday night and I feel so much better to have that weight off my shoulders. He is a wonderful guy and didn't miss a beat. I am a lucky girl

[staceyhearn79 26]

I am a newbie as well. I told my husband but my adult children do not know. My daughter and her husband are living here right now until their home is ready to move into. I have eaten at the table with them….we've gone out to eat numerous times and I've had no questions. It's not that odd to see someone not drink. I always order a drink and save it for my thirty minutes after eating. I've always drank a lot during a meal. That's the hardest thing about this process for me. Anyway, I've learned the wonderful art of moving food around on my plate. I always get a to go box and eat my leftovers at my next meal or the next day. It's really pretty cool. My daughter always says she's proud of me for pacing myself. She does not know about my sweet little tool….my princess tummy. I was worried about the same things. I have found though, it's not an issue unless we make it one. You will do fine. Besides, sleeve or not, I've never been able to eat a lot in front of a newbie date. I always say I'm building a different relationship with food, and it's a true game changer. That's very true, I am! Good Luck!!

Princess tummy ???? luv it!