This is so difficult!

[aNewTanya 109]

Thanks for all your replies. I had this surgery to live a longer life, to be happy and healthy. I didn't expect to have this be all consuming. I never feel 'great'. I'm kinda miserable, actually.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

did you have a chance to discuss your expectations with the psych or surgeon before surgery?

things will get better. you will feel better. eating like we have to will become more natural. but you will have to pay attention to how much Protein and Water you get for the rest of you life. if you go on "automatic pilot" again, you will regain.

you might want to talk to your NUT, your expectations about this surgery may be a little unrealistic. and it does take 6-9 weeks before you really feel "normal" again.

[Blazzrr 37]

Hi Tanya,

It's a great concern to me to read your post. I expect to have the sleeve done in late July and worry a great deal that it is irreversible. But my weight and the aches and pains I have now are also irreversible for me. I see no way out, I just can't go on like this, it isn't really living. There's too much of life that I can't and won't do - it's no way to live. I say this as I too struggle with making this very difficult decision and feeling I have no other choice.

How would you look at this decision now, given your regret? I'm wondering - does it feel like the weight isn't so bad, or like maybe there was a health plan that might have worked? I hope it is okay for me to ask, I just don't want to be fooling myself into thinking i can handle the sleeve.

Finally, what makes it "all consuming"? Can you or someone who has had it done tell me what you have to do that is all consuming?

Hang in there. I do think you will be thrilled once it becomes more routine.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

one of the things that makes us obese is mindless eating. we eat quickly, we gulp our food without chewing, we eat large amounts. after surgery we need to MINDFULLY eat slowly. very slowly. we need to take small bites and chew slowly and throughly and be mindful of every single thing that passes our lips. we need to plan what we will eat, when we will eat and make sure we get enough Water in, in between eating. it takes a lot of effort to pay attention to all this. it can be a lot for people who are used to paying little attention to how and what we eat. thats why its so so important to practice all these things as much as possible BEFORE surgery.

its also important to expect that recovery is 6-8 weeks. that learning to live with your sleeve can take 3-4 months or more. i know people who are still vomiting from eating too much or too fast 9 months out. most people learn really fast how to eat with the sleeve. most people get past the first 6 miserable weeks and feel so much better from losing weight that its all worth it. its not easy, but most people dont regret it. you have to have reasonable expectations too. its major surgery. its life changing. its going to forever change your relationship with food. you have to be willing to give that up.

its not by accident that we are here. if we knew how to eat healthily, how to listen to our body's clues about hunger and fullness, about how to be mindful about food and eating, we probably wouldnt have gotten obese in the first place. turning all this around, esp if you dont practice before surgery could seem exhausting. but you have to accept that this is a lifelong change, you will need to be mindful of everything that goes in your mouth the rest of your life. so if you arent committed to that, arent willing to put that kind of effort in, then this isnt likely the choice for you.

[menjaz 35]

You'll be amazed at how soon you'll get more used to it. Within a week or so, I bet you'll be feeling much more optimistic. Hang in there!

[Texasgrandma 3]

I truly can appreciate you're feelings. I am 3 months out and only over the last month have I really started feeling well and getting the hang of this. It is tough but it really will get better. Like you, I thought I'd made a mistake. I wasn't used to my tiny sleeve and how it would affect so much of my life. They tell us this stuff before surgery, but actually implementing it was hard. There is so much to learn. It has been worth it though. I wouldn't have told you that 6 weeks out though. Give yourself some time and you will be able to meet your goals and as you see that happening, it is very gratifying and encouraging. I'm still working at hitting my Protein and Water goals but I'm getting there and I just wake up every day with a new resolve. You can do this!

[jbyler 20]

I also am 4 weeks post op & regretting it. It's like all I think about now is food and if I can eat that & if my family is going to complain about dinner. I'm sick of the added stress this has put on me. I was on a dr program for 10 months before I had my sleeve and thought I was really prepared for this. Everyone says how wonderful they feel but I am not feeling wonderful at all. I'm tired nonstop I can't even get a shower without being extremely played out. I am getting at least 60g of Protein a day & about 64oz of Fluid if not more. Walking a couple miles a day like some people say they are doing is a joke. I'm lucky if I can go 10 minutes on the treadmill. I just want to feel like I'm normal. I did this so I would feel normal & be able

to be there and be healthier for myself and my family but as of now I'm still wondering why I did all this to myself.

[Katcloudshepherd 630]

I heartily concur with Texasgrandma. It has only been within the last few days that I am getting back to having MORE energy than pre-surgery. Only recently have I been getting into the "routine" of doing what I need to do.

For me, decades of bad habits DO NOT pass easily or quickly . I recently went through several weeks of "mourning" for my old friend, food. food was ALWAYS there for me, ready to soothe my frazzled nerves, sedate me with the sleepyness of overconsumption. Always readily available, on every corner, for the taking. Whispering seductively into my ear "you'll feel so better if you eat me."

Another thing I think people forget: If you were a prime athlete and had any type of surgery recovery would be much easier.

THIS NEXT STATEMENT IS NOT, I REPEAT NOT A FORM OF JUDGING US:

Most of us come into this surgery totally out of shape, with no exercise habits pre-surgey. Our bodies are totally unfit, so our out of shape bodies are dealing with MAJOR surgery with no stamina and thus recovery is a much longer and daunting task.

All I can say is HANG IN THERE. This trip down the loser's highway isn't all fairy dust and unicorn farts for sure! Anyone who thinks it's "easy" can kiss my ever shrinking rear end!!!!!

Kathleen

[meghan69 3]

I am 11days out and feel the same way my mind tells me I just want a cheese burger but that's how we got here I take a walk or do something to try to occupy my mind. Going back to work next Tuesday so I'm sure that will help.

[bigsleeve56 266]

I have never seen a group like this. pull up the old big girl pants and become an adult do what you have to and enjoy the new life.

[aNewTanya 109]

I have never seen a group like this. pull up the old big girl pants and become an adult do what you have to and enjoy the new life.

So because I'm having regrets I'm not an adult? That's such an adult response. Appreciate it.

[Domika03 309]

aNewTanya, you're entitled to feel the way you feel, as do many others! This journey is surely not an easy one. It definitely does take some getting used to. There's NO question about that. It takes a lot of pre-planning & hard work "BUT" I promise it WILL get better. It DOES get easier.

As with anything new, it takes some time to get used to. You just have to learn how to live with the new you. I enjoyed reading Katcloudsheppard's post further above. She made me laugh.

Hang in there. Maybe talk to your nutritionist or surgeon & ask them to help you. There's nothing wrong with asking for help. AND, there's nothing wrong with posting about it. You're looking for support. That's what most of us here try to offer.

It's not easy my friend, but you will be happy with this decision...it just may take a little longer than it does with others. We're all very different!

Best of luck!

[DebiWright 7]

I am to be sleeved Tues 4/6 and what a blessing to be worried about having to eat and not the curse we live with from over eating. I am looking forward to food not controlling me. And the pre-op diet has really opened my eyes to why I am in the shap e I am in. I realized today that food has always been on the front burner in my life, but I have made a decision to put me in front of everything else.

[shelly75 35]

I have never seen a group like this. pull up the old big girl pants and become an adult do what you have to and enjoy the new life.

This site is meant to support each other, not pass judgement. If you don't have anything helpful to say, don't bother leaving comments. We are allowed to feel what we feel and ask for help without being judged for it.

[Teachamy 1,042]

Like Starz_in_ze_sky, I am diabetic. I am a Type I diabetic, however, which means I can never be completely in remission. You have the opportunity to avoid the tracking, testing, medicating and monitoring that takes place in this disease by making a choice to seek health through WLS. Feel thankful you have made this choice! I know this process can be a drag, but call me cruel, I can't help but wish I could trade places with people who think THIS is difficult and complicated.

But I want to promise you that it will get better. Everyday is better. A month out from surgery may seem like an eternity right now, but breathe and give it time.

Edited May 2, 2014 by Teachamy