what is the real reason I became obese?

[awold0 246]

Just wondering if anyone has figured out there reason for being obese?

As for me is was alot of abuse when I was very young. I had always felt that if I was large no one could ever hurt me again because I felt invisible.

What are some of your reasons for the weight?

Interesting you should ask. I actually just made an appointment with a bariatric mental health doctor. I have been going through some issues now that I am close to goal. Bad habit's are comeing back like too much wine etc. I always seem to need to have a goal or something so now that it is not loosing weight I seem to be saying "now what" " I cant eat bad now that I am close to goal so maybe I will splurge on wine and shopping. I really need to face what is causing all this my whole life. So what caused me to be obeese? I hope to find out.

[cutiepieinchi 158]

I was raped when I was 20. I became terrified to leave my home and packed on the pounds as a sort of cover to hide myself in. I figured no one would hurt me if I were bigger.

[leeann71 539]

Reading all of these stories has got me thinking about how to let go of the past. I see a therapist regularly and we talk about the things that had happened.

But for some strange reason I am cursed with always remembering the bad things that happen. They just dont seem to go away. I catch my self wondering if I will gain the weight back because of this. My childhood and teen years were horrible.

As I grew up there were more people in my life who hurt me the same way. How does anyone get over and through this?

I have forgiven everyone who ever hurt me , I just haven't forgotten.

Edited April 24, 2014 by leeann71

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

What an important post. food gives me joy. I need to find joy in something else. The psychologist asked me to figure out what else can give me joy, and I still can't answer that. It was five months ago.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Great question. For me, it's a variety of reasons. The main thing is that I ate more calories than I burned. I ate to Celebrate, and as a stress reliever. It took years to realize how stress impacted me, and I've had my share of stress. I also come from a family who loves to eat, and my grandparents LOVED to feed me. I was a very willing recipient, lol! I can't say I have anything in my history that I'm trying to stifle with food, and for the most part, I've been very fortunate and live a pretty charmed life, in spite of the stressors. I grew up in a home with an abundance of good food and lots of choices, and I recreated that with my own family. I also inherited the tendency to gain weight easily.

So now that I've successfully lost the weight, I know what it takes for my body to lose - I have to eat around 800 calories a day to lose. If I eat more than about 1200, I will gain rapidly. It's shocking to me! I often think now that it's no surprise I weighed over 300 pounds. I certainly ate too much, but it never was really that out of line with others who way less overweight than me. The combination of overeating and a body that doesn't need many calories to exist was a perfect storm for developing and maintaining obesity. I don't think I would have ever lost weight without surgery because I just couldn't eat less than 1400 calories a day before, and that wasn't low enough to lose, even at 300 pounds.

[lasal 70]

I would say a myriad of things contributed to my weight gain. I had a volatile childhood of uncertainty because my parents were making up and breaking up for my young years with a lot of verbal and some physical abuse. I suffered terrible emotional abuse and guilt to choose a side. As a teen I had a drug problem and was very thin. Once I stopped using drugs I substituted with food. I also gained weight as a form of protection against men so that they would leave me alone and not require anything from me. I also have hypothyroidism and gained 70 pounds with my first pregnancy. The rest I chalk up to pure laziness. I know I feel much better when I weigh less and exercise but don't always feel like.

I am so grateful to my band because now it truly limits my food intake and I have to assess what makes me want to overeat.

[greensleeve 457]

I was sexually, physically and verbally abused by my father. Addiction and obesity run in the family.

I grew up watching my parents yo yo diet and obsess about it, always trying to find the latest and greatest way to lose weight.

I got so sick of hearing about it I just couldn't bring myself to be like that so I rebelled.

I had a lot of magical thinking and disconnect between what I ate and my weight. I was in denial.

For years I tried to convince myself that I was just fine being fat and I needed to love myself the way I was.

I finally realized I was never going to be ok with being fat.

I just didn't care what I ate. People say food was their best friend. I just didn't care, didn't want to plan and count and measure. I failed so many times I just gave up.

[cushy 117]

I think I used food to reward myself and to deal with emotional overloads. It was a great comforter and numbing device, and kind of a bizarro hobby and thing to look forward to doing for me. Also certainly anything worth celebrating was worth celebrating with lots of bad-for-me food, right?! Being the one who thought they had to make everything work in my family also meant feeling entitled to a reward for doing it all, being perpetually nice, competent, self-less, able, etc. That's exhausting at some level, and so food was also a way to gen myself back up, give myself a little break from life, and give myself some pleasure. Sadly my body now is so big it's not much pleasure!

But i'm dealing well now and continuing to work through stuff like the above. I'm also excited about my own life now; surgery next week, walking daily, losing weight and feeling so much better.

I'm glad you posted this, it seems so much like me as far as why I'm obese, my liquid diet starts 4/25 and surgery 5/9, I'm just going to dive right in and handle it like my life depends on it!! Much success to you going forward.

[piercedqt78 658]

*I was just diagnosed with the auto immune disorder, in the past my pain, joint damage and soft tissue injuries were ALWAYS blamed on my weight. When I lost the weight and still had issues my new doctor started looking for answers. She said weight doesn't cause rotator cuff tears, and that I shouldn't have been dismissed because of my weight. I started seeing a new doctor when my previous md was not on board with my being revised from band to sleeve. She said just remove the band and do it the old fashioned way.

What an amazingly strong woman you are. I'm in awe. That is why it's so unfair for others to judge based on what they see. I've met so many fabulous folks on this site and we all talk about our challenges and struggles and not giving in to them yet others see us as fat and lazy. It just makes me mad...

Oh and your auto immune disorder....same here. All this time, I was told to lose the weight and my knees would feel better. Well...I lost the weight and got worse. Finally I went to the surgeon who was convinced I had hip trouble, not knee trouble and oh boy was he right. Turns out I have osteo-necrosis which is compromised blood flow resulting in dead bone. It's likely a combination of some auto-immune disease that they are still trying to identify along with genetic pre-disposition. So much for being heavy. Yes...I'm better and healthier at this weight. I'm not sorry I had the band...not sorry at all. But same as you, this was not all obesity related. Though all of my doctor are very supportive of my getting WLS. Your doctor is just showing how ignorant he/she is by telling you to do it the old fashioned way. No sorry...it's not ignorant. It's stupid.

Good luck to you. We are here to support you.

Part of my problem is I have always tried to be the strong one, and instead of saying I'm hurting, or I'm sad I would just eat. You know the old joke about having a child inside screaming to get out, but you can shut it up with Cookies? Sadly that was my reality. My sleeve really truly saved my life. I'm blessed with an amazing general physician, an excellent bariatric team, and a supportive family. I don't know what I would have done without that trifecta. When I was using my old doctor (the one that didn't support the sleeve idea) I really felt as if I would die if I didn't make a change. I started seeing a new doctor, she not only suggested the sleeve, but sent me to the surgeon that I ended up using. And they keep very close tabs on my labs, both offices share any results with the other. It's nice to have a doctor on my side, that actually cares about my health. It's funny my mom also sees the same dr, and I was in the office last week with her, she was getting cleared to have a minor knee surgery, and my dr that I haven't seen since early feb noticed my haircut right away. My own daughter took several hours to notice it, and my sister has yet to realize it was cut. LOL, but my dr noticed, and complimented on it right away. She also said it hides my hairloss very very well. It's nice to have her know my first name without a chart in hand, and she remembers my medical issues. She even remembered to ask me about my shoulder/knee pain. My mom and I have different last names, so I know that didn't give my name away, like I said she knew my first name off the top of her head. It's a really big practice, and I've only been there 1 year.

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

Just wondering if anyone has figured out there reason for being obese? As for me is was alot of abuse when I was very young. I had always felt that if I was large no one could ever hurt me again because I felt invisible. What are some of your reasons for the weight?

This is an amazing question with even more amazing answers. I was and still obese because I eat because I am bored. I always was told by my Navy father from WWII you finish everything on your plate. I love food. bread is my down fall. I use to eat basketfuls of bread and still can. It's awful. In 2 weeks I see my doctor and want a fill. I haven't had one since last summer, I think. I need to move more.

Have a great week everyone.

Arlene

[jamilyne 102668 1,207]

Reasons I became obese:

1. Heredity - almost every single one of the women in my family are overweight or obese.

2. Kids - After I had my first child at 23 I started gaining weight and after having 4 kids the pounds just kept piling up.

3. Emotional eater - any time that I am stressed I eat and eat and eat and eat & I love love love food! I craved carbs & sweets - can you say ADDICTION! lol

4. Depression - I struggled with depression in 2009 and I didn't care about myself at all. I just wanted to sleep and cry. I didn't own a scale and gained a lot of weight during my depression also.

So glad that I don't have to deal with the weight because it weighed me down physically and emotionally! I still struggle with the emotional eating, but I am aware of it and I try to stay on top of it!

Edited April 24, 2014 by jamilyne 102668

[leeann71 539]

I want to thank everyone for their replys. It feels great to get the truth out and face it. I always denied my self the real truth until I just couldn't do it anymore. Again thank you, keep the replys coming.

[Martha Howland-Shafiei 118]

ptsd here...but nobody held a gun to my head and said gorge urself to death----i did that to me.alot of anger,depression and counselling finally and i cant wait to take the bull by the horns!

ptsd here...but nobody held a gun to my head and said gorge urself to death----i did that to me.alot of anger,depression and counselling finally and i cant wait to take the bull by the horns!

[jamilyne 102668 1,207]

I've read all of your answers to this question and there are some really sad stories. I feel for all of you and the very valid reasons that you chose food to help soothe some of your pain and this is why we need to be here for one another!

Well - here's to us! Here's to trying to beat the addictions & the scars that are within us!

[katesuccess 990]

I think I used food to reward myself and to deal with emotional overloads. It was a great comforter and numbing device, and kind of a bizarro hobby and thing to look forward to doing for me. Also certainly anything worth celebrating was worth celebrating with lots of bad-for-me food, right?! Being the one who thought they had to make everything work in my family also meant feeling entitled to a reward for doing it all, being perpetually nice, competent, self-less, able, etc. That's exhausting at some level, and so food was also a way to gen myself back up, give myself a little break from life, and give myself some pleasure. Sadly my body now is so big it's not much pleasure!

But i'm dealing well now and continuing to work through stuff like the above. I'm also excited about my own life now; surgery next week, walking daily, losing weight and feeling so much better.

I'm glad you posted this, it seems so much like me as far as why I'm obese, my liquid diet starts 4/25 and surgery 5/9, I'm just going to dive right in and handle it like my life depends on it!! Much success to you going forward.

Good for you! And well said - because basically our lives DO depend on it. Good luck starting your liquids tomorrow. It's not so bad when you know it's in pursuit of something you're ready for and believe in.