Just starting out, but worried about future/choice already

[mj0920 0]

Good Morning. I just started my pre-sleeve prep earlier in the month. I am down 10lbs in 12 days. This is the first time in a very long time that I feel in control again. However, I have a lot of concerns that I am making the right decision. Any thoughts on some of my random worries would be greatly appreciated.

1. I work in a surgical practice. The office staff (mostly women) are very catty. I really don't want any of them knowing I am having biriatric surgery. It is going to be difficult to "hide" since the surgery will take place at our sister hospital & I will have to ask management for time off. I recently had a robotic hysterectomy & was driving 5 days later. I hope to bounce back from this quickly so I don't have to take off too much work & hopefully have it go relatively "unnoticed". I will be using vacation days instead of sick leave because I don't want to have to tell my managers why either. They all talk! Thoughts?

2. I also fear not being able to eat/drink later at my son's wedding. I will be 6 months out from having surgery on the "big day". I want to be able to enjoy the dinner, cake & wine that we are paying a ton of money for. I'm not a huge sweet eater normally, I'm more addicted to chips/dip type foods, but I want to enjoy his day, including the food. I like my wine. I've read that it is absorbed 4x faster after surgery. Thoughts?

3. We socialize a tremendous amount during football season. We host many game day events with tons of "tailgate food". I'm just so scared of loosing the enjoyment of socializing if I can't take part of the preparations any more.

I really need to lose this weight. My health issues/age are beginning to be problematic. I just fear this is such a big step. Is this feeling normal? Is there a happy medium in the "after surgery" life?

Thank you so much for your time.

MJ

[StephanieRR 131]

I took one week off for my sleeve and was fine!! I was driving within 5 days post op! You don't have to tell anyone anything. I was like you too. Fear of judgement. Then one day I just came out with it! The better you start to feel and the more in control of your eating you become, the more self confidnece will grow and you will not worry about the judegement of others. And those who are not supportive are ignorant of the the facts. You will still have to work hard , it's not a magic operation. Some people don't get that..... As for 6 months out, I am 3 months out and very social!! I just make wise choices and eat small amounts. I think you will be just fine. It's hard sometimes, but I feel GREAT! Like I said, once the weight starts falling off, all those worries will disappear!! Best wishes of great success. You are doing this for a healthier you!! No one else!

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

Work place chatter is always hard. If you don't share it with anyone, it should be kept quiet. Your managers are not allowed to ask about procedures etc. If it is your time to take off, then your privacy should remain in tact.

I am 16 months out, and though I haven't had any foods I can't tolerate, there are foods I avoid. Trigger foods for me. chips, etc. go down way too easy, and regardless of our restriction, you can eat around your sleeve if you choose to. It's not a cure all. Just a tool, we have to do our part to be as successful as we can be.

I enjoy an occasional drink, but I didn't for a while. I'm not going to be a hypocrite and tell you not to drink, just giving my experience and how I proceeded. Aside from the empty calories, our bodies will burn the alcohol first before fat. And I have noticed the alcohol now has a much quicker effect on me. I avoid drinking sepcifically in "tailgate" situations because I don't want to make bad choices worse if I'm not on my game. Everyone is different and everyone's triggers are different. You have to manage your choices and do what is best for you. I do have days where I am not as strict, but I track it all and account for it. All that being said, one day is not going to ruin anyone's progress overall. I specifically had this procedure becuase I didn't want to diet for the rest of my life anymore. I wanted to have things in moderation and get my eating and choices under control.

When I have party or social situations, I bring a dish I can enjoy. There are tons of healitier choices out there. No reason you can't enjoy your social gatherings as much as ever. food doens't have to be the focus.

I had surgery on a Tuesday and was back at work Monday. I'm in an office situation so no lifiting required.

Best of luck to you!! Great progress so far!

[Bufflehead 6,358]

1. Your health and medical choices are your business, not your co-workers. Tell them as much or as little as you want. But be prepared, they will probably, sooner or later, guess at your having had weight loss surgery. You need to be prepared about what to tell them -- either that you are going to lie (I don't advise it, not for anyone but specifically not for you since they may well hear about it via work and it will make you look like a bad, untrustworthy person), tell them you don't want to discuss it, or be open about it if/when they ask. Whatever you choose, don't let the reactions of people around you determine whether you are going forward with surgery or not. This is YOUR life and choice, and other people can go pound sand.

2. You will be able to eat and drink at your son's wedding. You may not want to have more than a couple bites of cake or sips of wine, but it will be up to you. Hopefully you will come to a place where your enjoyment of celebrations is measured by the fun you have with people and activities rather than by how much food you can eat. And believe me, I am not judging, I have definitely walked many miles in your shoes! Imagine yourself thinner, happier, with more energy at his wedding, dancing and receiving compliments from friends and family. Doesn't that sound better than eating three slices of cake and slugging back glasses of wine? Imagine shopping for your Mother of the Groom outfit in a brand new size and all the options you will have to pick from!

3. See above. It's a big change but a positive one. You can still enjoy football and spending time with friends without over-eating, I promise.

None of these things are as important as your physical and emotional health -- and for most of us, things improve drastically on both fronts via this surgery. I worried too about missing out on things like big family dinners -- but trust me, I look back at my worries and have to laugh at myself a little bit. My life is so, so much better now, in a multitude of ways. Good luck in your decision.

[mj0920 0]

Thank you all for the replies & support. This is such a major decision that I really want to make the right choice. The work situation is really tough. There is ONE trouble maker in the group. I keep to myself most of the time. I'm taking this on just as my divorce finalizes. My son's wedding will be stressful since I will only know my immediate family (8 people) & my ex-husband's family (20 people), otherwise the other 100+ people belong to the bride's side. I just want to make sure I can feel comfortable if I want to eat/fit in the celebration. I guess time will be on my side & I will be feeling better about handling it in the upcoming months. Right now it is all a little overwhelming.

[is it just me 80]

Thank you all for the replies & support. This is such a major decision that I really want to make the right choice. The work situation is really tough. There is ONE trouble maker in the group. I keep to myself most of the time. I'm taking this on just as my divorce finalizes. My son's wedding will be stressful since I will only know my immediate family (8 people) & my ex-husband's family (20 people), otherwise the other 100+ people belong to the bride's side. I just want to make sure I can feel comfortable if I want to eat/fit in the celebration. I guess time will be on my side & I will be feeling better about handling it in the upcoming months. Right now it is all a little overwhelming.

Ur normal........... We all were nervous........ I can tell u this.... I'm 5 months out and can eat anything I want, it's my choice to choose the right choices... So on ur sons wedding yes u can eat the food, it just will be smaller amounts...... And yes u can drink... Of coarse it's bad calories but we all need to enjoy things once in awhile..... And for ur workers................. My experience........ I wanted to tell everyone cause I figured they would notice anyways but it's a little different then that... Here it goes... The people u see daily don't seem to notice like I thought they would..... The people that notice are the people you don't see often..... So u don't have to tell ur co workers.. All u need to do is change ur eating habits and say ur watching ur weight for ur sons wedding... Good luck and ur going to look and feel great on his wedding day... He will be just as proud as u....

[Austin123 1]

I am 6 weeks into my recovery. My daughters wedding is in 3 months. Although I am now eating to live vs living to eat (I do miss food), it is the best decision I have made for myself. The hunger is different. Its not like the hunger before the surgery, its controllable. Think of how healthy and how much better you are going to feel and how you have increased your chances to be healthier for the people who love you, especially being around for grand kids.

When you do start missing food, stay focused on what your moving toward vs what you are missing. Follow your doctors instructions and you will do fine I am sure.

Edited April 22, 2014 by Austin123

[MammaMac 41]

My surgery is tomorrow. I've told my job I'm having my gallbladder out as the surgery and recovery time are similar. I work with two men in my office area and about 75 ppl in the building. I said I was going on a diet when I started my preop. The guys in my office haven't mentioned it but a few women in the building have when I've turned down birthday cake. I'm engaged so I have a good excuse for a dramatic weight loss.

-MM

[Valerie R. 50]

I totally get wanted to still be able to socailze, that was a big thing for me. I had my surgery on February 19th and have already had a a glass of wine. I waited about a month and then enjoyed a glass...it was fine! You will absoluelty be able to toast your son at his wedding. Champagne probably wont be great but one sip will be fine. I still go out with friends all the time. I order the fish or chicken and just eat what I can. You'll find it will not be about the food, it's about the friends. Good luck!

[Sassy in pink 19]

My surgery is tomorrow. I've told my job I'm having my gallbladder out as the surgery and recovery time are similar. I work with two men in my office area and about 75 ppl in the building. I said I was going on a diet when I started my preop. The guys in my office haven't mentioned it but a few women in the building have when I've turned down birthday cake. I'm engaged so I have a good excuse for a dramatic weight loss. -MM

Good luck tomorrow! I was thinking abut saying the same to my family because they want get together a week after my surgery and I don't known how I'm going to beg feeling? My surgery is Friday!

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

your relationship to food is going to change dramatically. you arent going to care much about the food at weddings, parties or tailgating. you are going to start focusing on things other than food at get togethers. the importance of food is going to fad into the background. really. dont worry about it now, you will have plenty of time to adjust after your surgery. just focus on getting through things right now. after surgery your priorities will shift and it will become clear how you want to proceed regarding social events that revolve around food.