letting other's determine how i feel

[country lovin 16]

I am on this journey to a healthier me for myself. unfortunately now that I am almost 4 weeks post-op and not losing any weight I feel very ashamed. I am ashamed when someone asks me how much weight I have lost..they don't ask because I look like I have lost...they ask because they expect me to drop the weight so fast. These are people I love so much and they do not mean to hurt me, but I am finding myself focusing on what other people think than what I need to do for myself. When I focus only on how I feel, I do so much better. Does anyone else have these issues or advice?/

[SandyM 1,956]

It's not a fast thing, they will start seeing a difference. When they ask., just smile and tell them it's progressing.

[Leepers 1,195]

Finding a way to NOT let others determine how you feel would be a great step for you. It is hard, but it can be done.

If the people asking know you had weight loss surgery, then I would just say, "I'm losing at a healthy, slower, rate. My plan is to keep it off."

[BandedBrunette481 310]

I have similar issues! I don't like when people constantly comment about my weight loss, even if it's to compliment me because it makes me feel like I'm under a microscope. I start to feel like I have to keep losing a lot or they're going to notice that I'm not. Like you said, I realize that they aren't trying to put pressure on me to succeed or hurt me, but it's still hard.

What helps me is blogging, to be honest. It gives me an outlet for all of my feelings, positive or negative. It's a good place to Celebrate yourself because it's your blog. It also pushes me to do better, in a good way. And I like having a record of all of the success I've had so far. If I ever feel bummed I can go back and look at how far I've come to feel re-motivated.

I realize blogging isn't for everyone, so you could also try a journal/diary. At the very least, I suggest writing out a list of all the things you want to accomplish or all of the things you want to be able to do once you start losing weight. It's called a Weight Loss Bucket List! Put it up somewhere in your house where it can give you daily motivation and remind you why you're on this journey.

Another great tool is support groups. You can look them up online or ask your surgeon's office if they have any. It will give you a network of support, a group of people cheering for you and reminding you that this journey is about YOU, not other people.

Don't get discouraged. Keep fighting. I wish you the best of luck!!

Oh!! And my standard response when people ask how much I've lost is "I don't know the exact number but my clothes fit better and I feel great!" because really, that's a better judge than the scale anyways.

Edited April 19, 2014 by BlissfullyBanded

[country lovin 16]

Thank yu everyone for the awesome advice. I am new to this sight but loving it so much already. you all have given me great ideas!!

[delove32 91]

I walked into my school cafeteria and one of the teachers made a big scene bout my weight-loss! It kinda pissed me off cause we don't even talk like that. When she said it of course everyone at the table had to turn around and look. She asked how much had I lost and I said not that much. I only told a select few pep at my job but now am wishing I didn't tell anyone because news travels fast. You can tell them that you don't know that your concentrating on creating healthy habits not the scale. When most pep think wls they think of drastic, fast and easy weight loss. They have no clue! You are 20lb out! Be proud of it. Screw them!! Good luck and continued success on your journey!!