Really need some support

[loveurself1 21]

I am scheduled for surgery on the 25th of this month & I feel all alone! I know for a fact that my husband does not approve of this surgery & I haven't told my family or coworkers only because they are very judgmental & gossip way too much for me. My only comfort during this preop period has been me reading you guys posts & comments. By the way...thank you all for that! :-) I'm afraid that after the surgery I will fail only because of the lack of support. What's crazy about all of this is that I'm usually the type of person that feels like I don't need no one to help me but I'm confessing now that I really need some support to get me through this life changing journey that's about to start next week.

[Iambeautiful 100]

Its Ok to ask for help.... I have a big family and I only told one of my daughters and my sister in law and made them promise not to tell anyone..... the support i get is still there for the weight loss . It's just that the others don't know how I've been losing the weight...... And it's no magic.... We still have to eat less and exercise like anyone else... It's just that the sleeve now limits how much we can eat and makes it uncomfortable for us to eat more than allowed... it's a great w eight loss tool and it is a last resort for most of us here after trying every diet in the book and failed..... Be happy even if no one else is for me now...... don't tell anyone about the surgery if you don't fe el comfortable with it.... Just join a support group locally or come here and someone will be here for you..... Good Luck....

[Pamalamb 72]

I was sleeved 2 days ago. I know what you mean about lack of support. My husband knew someone who had a horrible experience with the bypass so he really did not want me to get the sleeve. However, once he saw how unhealthy I really am and understood this was not a decision based on vanity, he has stepped up and supports me. I was one to tell myself that even though I am fat, I am healthy. The tests leading up to the surgery showed me how wrong I really was. sleep apnea, Vitamin deficiencies, cholesterol, knee and back pain. I have told many people about this surgery. I refuse to be ashamed for seeking the help I need. Everyone I know has been supportive, even though some are concerned. Embrace your choice, it will give you many more years with those loved ones who are not supportive, because they are afraid for you.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

My husband decided he would tell no one. I told my 49 y/o daughter, and a nurse friend, and my niece who had gastric bypass many years ago. He did not tell his 30 y/o son. Today I am thankful we did not share this surgery because I do not want it to be a topic of our neighbors we socialize with occasionally, when just losing weight has made them gush and give unwanted attention, telling others, on and on. Just gets ridiculous after awhile. We just say we have dieted, which is very true. People post here they told one co-workerm, now the whole company knows. Nature of the beast I guess, gossip. Good luck, great support here!

[mommamel 10]

I'm having surgery April 29th and have not shared with many people either so I understand your dilemma. You might want to share this site with your husband, maybe with more information he'll be more supportive of your decision. If not, we'll be here for support, encouragement, and to accompany you along the way. Hang in there and stay positive!

[Folly 308]

I am scheduled for surgery on the 25th of this month & I feel all alone! I know for a fact that my husband does not approve of this surgery & I haven't told my family or coworkers only because they are very judgmental & gossip way too much for me. My only comfort during this preop period has been me reading you guys posts & comments. By the way...thank you all for that! :-) I'm afraid that after the surgery I will fail only because of the lack of support. What's crazy about all of this is that I'm usually the type of person that feels like I don't need no one to help me but I'm confessing now that I really need some support to get me through this life changing journey that's about to start next week.

After the surgery, as you recover and start feeling (looking) better your husband may have to confront some of his insecurities while you're learning that you - weight = person who doesn't supress every negative emotion. It's a great journey for the most part. Don't worry too much, we'll all be here when you get back.

(I sent you a private message)

Peace

[minniexoxo 34]

You are gonna be ok.....you are doing this for you and you deserve it. Keep coming back to this website. People here understand and care. God bless you today and always.

[loveurself1 21]

I was sleeved 2 days ago. I know what you mean about lack of support. My husband knew someone who had a horrible experience with the bypass so he really did not want me to get the sleeve. However, once he saw how unhealthy I really am and understood this was not a decision based on vanity, he has stepped up and supports me. I was one to tell myself that even though I am fat, I am healthy. The tests leading up to the surgery showed me how wrong I really was. sleep apnea, Vitamin deficiencies, cholesterol, knee and back pain. I have told many people about this surgery. I refuse to be ashamed for seeking the help I need. Everyone I know has been supportive, even though some are concerned. Embrace your choice, it will give you many more years with those loved ones who are not supportive, because they are afraid for you.

Hopefully my husband will have that same mentality after my surgery. I also agree that it's not just about vanity reasons, it's because I am unhealthy and I'm tired of not being able to do some of the activities that I enjoy. I am happy for the support from you & so many others on here. Also CONGRATS on your new journey and I pray a speedy recovery for you. Thanks again!!!

[loveurself1 21]

You guys have literally brought me to tears! From the bottom of my heart I appreciate the support you all have given me thus far and i will continue to reach out for help from you guys in my time of need. I know this journey is not going to be an easy one but I plan on staying focused no matter who supports me on this. Congrats to all of you who have gone through with the surgery and to those who are on their way to becoming a better "you!" Love you all & thanks again for making me feel better during this difficult but happy time in my life.

[amumes 27]

You guys have literally brought me to tears! From the bottom of my heart I appreciate the support you all have given me thus far and i will continue to reach out for help from you guys in my time of need. I know this journey is not going to be an easy one but I plan on staying focused no matter who supports me on this. Congrats to all of you who have gone through with the surgery and to those who are on their way to becoming a better "you!" Love you all & thanks again for making me feel better during this difficult but happy time in my life.

you will do it. I told a couple of friends and a few family members. The one family member I thought would be supportive was not. So I stopped telling people. I am 4 days post op. Easter is in a few days so I guess folks will know!!! At least I won't have to listen to why I shouldn't have to do it. I feel great. First few days was rough for me. However, I never vomited. I keeping everything down. I am glad I found this support tool.

[sue_t 7]

You are not alone. We are all here for you.

I felt alone too because I didn't tell many people. When I finally told my friends, I was so glad I did. The support, even if only from a small handful was all I needed!!

I didn't want to tell people because I thought they would think I was a failure or was taking the "easy way" out. But then I realized that I don't care what they think. Now almost three months post op, when I do tell select people I see that look in their eyes. Oh well.

I look at it as we had the courage to undergo the surgery. I admit I needed help to lose the weight.

Good luck and let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.

[loveurself1 21]

you will do it. I told a couple of friends and a few family members. The one family member I thought would be supportive was not. So I stopped telling people. I am 4 days post op. Easter is in a few days so I guess folks will know!!! At least I won't have to listen to why I shouldn't have to do it. I feel great. First few days was rough for me. However, I never vomited. I keeping everything down. I am glad I found this support tool.

That's one of the reasons why I haven't told many people because of their negatives comments on why I shouldn't be doing it! I am so glad also! So far everybody has been awesome on this website. By the way... Woohoo!! Congrats on your surgery! Can't wait until my big day! :-)

[loveurself1 21]

You are not alone. We are all here for you. I felt alone too because I didn't tell many people. When I finally told my friends, I was so glad I did. The support, even if only from a small handful was all I needed!! I didn't want to tell people because I thought they would think I was a failure or was taking the "easy way" out. But then I realized that I don't care what they think. Now almost three months post op, when I do tell select people I see that look in their eyes. Oh well. I look at it as we had the courage to undergo the surgery. I admit I needed help to lose the weight. Good luck and let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.

Thank you much Ms Sue! I can so relate to what you just said! I'm the type of person that honestly don't care what people think of me so why is this bothering so much about what they might say. Like you said "I admit I need help to lose this weight" and it shouldn't matter what nobody at my job or my family has to say about it! Thanks again Sue_t I needed to read your comment!:-)

[didi122 10]

I understand completely what your going thru! It's just I do not have the courage to say it out loud so with that said your not alone ! My husband does not agree and I feel like if I go thru with it ; I'm not coming out alive ! So I'm thinking May be I shouldn't ....than I say to myself the hell with it .God is my pilot and I will be ok and so will you !

[loveurself1 21]

I understand completely what your going thru! It's just I do not have the courage to say it out loud so with that said your not alone ! My husband does not agree and I feel like if I go thru with it ; I'm not coming out alive ! So I'm thinking May be I shouldn't ....than I say to myself the hell with it .God is my pilot and I will be ok and so will you !

AMEN! Thank you for the support and please keep me posted on your progress. :-)