How do you cope with tragedy?

[sleepingarby 71]

Have recently dealt with 2 major tragedies. First I was served divorce papers the day after I came home from surgery and wound up divorced 3 weeks later. Depressing but not unexpected. Then my youngest child made an EPICALLY stupid decision that has rocked the family ( what's left of it). I have had a hard time keeping track. Although I find going to the gym helps me get a mental break from the situation. So how do all of you cope when tragedy strikes? Maybe some ideas to to help prevent me from detailing.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

Hi there, hope you' re doing ok, im sorry you have to be going through some tough times, expected or not. You cant control the things that happen , you can only control how you handle them. Staying strong and healthy by eating right and exercising will do more for you than eating junk and couch surfing. Both my parents passed in the summer of 2012, dad s was expected ( cancer) in June, mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer 3 weeks after his funeral and passed in August. Definatly not expected........... but going forward was the only option, so staying healthy and strong was a no brainer for me. Also , we could compare stories on " my youngest child making EPIC stupid decisions !!!!! " however, in the interest of privacy, and ..... " Hon, this is a family show !!" I will keep it on the down low........... ahem....... I wish you well, stay strong !!!!!!

[Bandista 7,466]

Hi Arby, good for you getting to the gym and working off some of that stress. Sometimes it feels like compounding interest the way high-stress events arrive one after the next. I find breathing really helps. Sometimes I take a minute behind the steering wheel to do a few intentional deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth. And humor is good, when you can find that place of being able to laugh at the absurdity of things. Best wishes to you -- and hey, it's spring, even here in NH. This was such a long hard winter but it's over!

[Terry Poperszky 2,784]

Everyone is different, and everyone will find different ways to deal with it. I am/was a big time stress eater, and I use a combination of prayer, exercise and and a low dose xanax script to help me through those times. I will say something about exercise, while it does get me through high stress episodes, I have to use it more as a preventative, maintaining a high level of exercise gives me a buffer of emotional reserve.

[parisshel 1,892]

Six months after I had been banded, my boyfriend (who is 45) went in to get a little chest pain checked by the doctor. He was on the operating table 48 hours later, getting a quintuple heart bypass. "Stressful time" does not begin to describe last September.

But because I have a lapband, which at that time was at optimal fill (it isn't currently), I did not have to worry about my food or gaining weight or eating away my stress. What a blessing my lapband was then. It really was so wonderful to not have to add that OMG I completely went over my calories today feeling, and to not have to wake up and see a gain on the scale every morning. I know that had I not been banded, I would have ate my way through this stressful period, adding more emotion and despair to what was already going on with my BF's health.

Instead, I just powered through my BF's surgery and long hospital and cardiac rehab stay, and the very slow climb for him back to normal. The lapband gave me no other choice, thankfully.

So my advice to you and anyone going through a rough patch is to make sure you are at optimal fill and just keep your food plan clean and going strong. It really isn't hard when you are at optimal fill. You don't need derailment thrown on top of all the other stresses you can't control. Your lapband and its power? You can control that. Keep it right and keep it clean, and it will give you the strength to put order in your house.