ashamed and frustrated

[takuwinds 81]

I got my band Oct of 2012 and have only lost 40 pounds at first. Now since my one year bandaversary I have gained weight. I am having such a hard time losing. I have a 10 cc band (I guess) and have 7cc fill. I have not seen my Dr in months for another fill because I was ashamed of my weight gain. I fell like a failure and thinking about having the band removed. I am at the point that I just have to accept that I will always be a fat girl/mom/wife. My body is never going to change to matter how much I want it to.

I feel like I wasted everyone's time and money getting this wonderful band in.

I feel ashamed I have not lost any weight. I can eat full meals and not feel full. Now and then my food will get stuck and I get rid of it, but then I will take another bite to replace what I just lost.

This just is not working out for me. I guess I am just that one person who will not succeed at losing weight.

[2muchfun 8,927]

Well, you're not the only one person who will not succeed but seems like you want to quit or you're looking for an excuse to give up? If your band isn't adjusted properly you won't lose, it's that simple.

And your post is not uncommon. See it all the time. Doctors also see it all the time and if your doctor is a good surgeon, he'll recognize the situation and work with you to help you to be successful. But, it won't happen unless you make the first move? Make that appointment and get a fill/adjustment.

Like I said, I've seen posts like yours before and the patients who went back to see their doctor were renewed with a new sense of determination to succeed. You could be one of these people too!

tmf

[Sharpie 3,306]

Sounds like you need a counseling session with your Dr. and nutritionist or perhaps a group. I know that after a year and 3 months I also get weary about worrying whether I gained or lost. but, in the end it's about your health. Try contacting someone in your area who may have had the same surgery . We have a monthly group meeting and it helps to see how everyone else is doing and see successes. I also use this forum to see the successful patients and feel like I can continue. mentally we all go through the same challenges . There are days I say to hell with it I want to eat (whatever) but my band does remind me that I cannot eat too much Thank Goodness. Jump back on the horse and get yourself motivated. It's so worth it. Best of Luck.

[enjoythetime 1,457]

There is NOTHING to be ashamed or embarrased about!! You're fighting the same battle we all are, you have to let go of the shame which only brings negativity to your mind. You're NOT a failure, pick yourself up, hold your head up high and do what you need to do and you know what that is. Get back on track, go to your doctor and go back to step one. You can do this and the reason I believe you can is because you want it. If you didn't want it you wouldn't have posted this:-) If you need support you're in the right place!! Let us know how things turn out for you!

[takuwinds 81]

ok everyone, I have called my Dr's office and I am going in next Thrusday. I am going to get it all out on the table. Perhaps her and I can come up with a plan to get me back on track.

It's a good feeling know I'm not alone. Because sometimes it does feel that way.

[2muchfun 8,927]

Look out Aeropostale here she comes!!!

[Bandista 7,466]

Oh, I am so glad for you! Get your band working for you dimming the appetite so you can make good decisions. Best wishes to you!

[enjoythetime 1,457]

ok everyone, I have called my Dr's office and I am going in next Thrusday. I am going to get it all out on the table. Perhaps her and I can come up with a plan to get me back on track.

It's a good feeling know I'm not alone. Because sometimes it does feel that way.

I'm so happy for you!! You've got this!!! Please keep us posted and let me know if I can help in any way!!

[Sharpie 3,306]

takuwinds ..awesome that you called your Dr. Let us know how you are doing. I feel sure you will get back on track.

we have all been there and I know you can re-group and continue on a successful program. good Luck

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

ok everyone, I have called my Dr's office and I am going in next Thrusday. I am going to get it all out on the table. Perhaps her and I can come up with a plan to get me back on track. It's a good feeling know I'm not alone. Because sometimes it does feel that way.

I realized the other night when I put on a pair of pants to wear for Passover they were just as tight as last year. That means I have lost no weight in 1 year. I see my doctor in 2 weeks. I know I eat wrong and don't move enough but I am less than I was when I started. Good luck. I think it's wonderful you are seeing your doctor.

[Jim1967 3,569]

Easy folks..lets not beat up the OP. We are not in her shoes and not dealing with the frustration first hand. It is quite clear she is very down on herself at the moment and she is here for our support not to be belittled further.

Embarrassment in talking with a Doctor about weight gain is quite common. I've seen loads of posts on this board about it over the years. I myself was a bit embarrassed at one point in my journey because I had not lost any weight in 3 month window. I still went and saw my Doctor and he set my mind at ease and said let us tackle the issue and not focus on the numbers right now.

I am happy to see the OP made the appointment. Remember the Doctors and Nutritionists are there for you and they cannot help without clear and concise, honest facts.

Best wishes!

Edited April 17, 2014 by Jim1967

[takuwinds 81]

Thank you Martha for confirming what a loser I am. I must really do hate myself for giving up. Geez, I was almost feeling hopeful that my life would get better. Thanks for shooting that down.

How does it feel to be perfect?

Edited April 17, 2014 by takuwinds

[Martha Howland-Shafiei 118]

hold on a second i never said ur a loser. u must really need to talk. what happened that got u so very down? it's never just about the wieght. i am very concerned for u as a matter of fact and indeed am saying aprayer for u. please don tigve up,u ccan go back to the beginning of the diet and start again. your life is getting better,u opened up the can nof worms for all to care adn help u with it.that takes alot of courage. come on now ur having a toughtime, uhit a rough spot. tell me what u want to do...i want to help if i can,really.

[Martha Howland-Shafiei 118]

p.s. it is because ia m far from perfect and know it that ican take a bite out of crime as it were. i wan t to help u come out of this on all fours,ok?

[takuwinds 81]

It does not matter anymore.