April 16th role call - who's with me!

[cutiecake 178]

I was sleeved on April 16, so not far from two months. I guess I just expected it to get better as time went on, not worse. I'm having more problems eating without feeling awful now than I did when I was a week out. I've wanted to be slim again since I lost nearly 100lbs between the ages of 16-18. However, I don't know that this was the right move for me. Unfortunately I have no one I can talk with about this. My husband and I recently moved from Alabama to Illinois, so I don't even have my friends here. That probably isn't helping with my depression. I know that this is the right answer for some people and I wish them much success. I'm just thinking more and more that it wasn't right for me and unfortunately it's not like I can change it.

I'm sorry to hear that! It's hard to not have a support system , luckily you have us! I know there's nothing you can do to change your decision, just try to come to peace with it. Have you talked to your doc about feeling sick ? Cuz that sounds like you should maybe see what's up with that. What's the positives you've had with the surgery ?

[Melodica 64]

Positives.... probably the only positives are that I've lost enough weight so that my lower back doesn't hurt when I stand up and I can move around and walk upstairs without feeling like I've run a marathon.

I still haven't lost enough to feel good about myself again and it's like no matter how hard I try now, the weight won't come off. I dropped 4lbs, then gained 3lbs of it right back and have been sitting there for more than a week. So frustrating.

[cutiecake 178]

Positives.... probably the only positives are that I've lost enough weight so that my lower back doesn't hurt when I stand up and I can move around and walk upstairs without feeling like I've run a marathon. I still haven't lost enough to feel good about myself again and it's like no matter how hard I try now, the weight won't come off. I dropped 4lbs, then gained 3lbs of it right back and have been sitting there for more than a week. So frustrating.

That sucks! How much are you down? If you've dropped a lot fast, maybe you're at a stall

[Melodica 64]

On 4/16 I was at 357. Now I'm at 318. So that's 40 lbs in about a month and a half. I have a lot to lose though.

[Blondiecakes77 18]

I had the surgery April 17th. I haven't been able to get all my fluids or Protein down for the day. I feel weak and sometimes I get so sick from eating. I'm back at work and it's been a nightmare to go back from a break or lunch feeling sick because of what I ate. I've been dehydrated for over 7 weeks now. I also miss not being able to guzzle Water. I was a huge water drinker before surgery. I never had a nut and my surgeon has barely given me any information. I took the required nutrition classes before surgery and they were a joke. Things I already knew and had nothing to do with life post surgery. From doing my own research I know I haven't been the best rule follower. I exercised one day and realized even though I've lost 32lbs and am the lowest weight I've been since high school, I'm out of shape. The 30 min workout used to be fun and I barely made it through. I used to workout an hour a day 6 days a week and that was being heavy. So exercising and being back at work I gained 3lbs! I don't even know how that's possible. I wish I could find protein I enjoyed and that I didn't feel like a slug. I don't necessarily regret the surgery because I hope with time it will get easier. But I'm glad to know other people have the same issues. I see all the people back to work after 3 days and dropping 100lbs in 6 months and never having a stall, and having tons of energy. I felt like why am I the only one having these issues? I'm a single parent to an 18 month daughter so I'm busy at home and busy at work. I don't get a break so not having enough water and protein is just killing me.

[Melodica 64]

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one, Blondiecakes. I took the nutrition classes as well and like you said, it was a joke. The one that I saw didn't prepare me at all. She just showed me a plate and said I'd need to eat x much meat, x much veg and went on about Protein shakes. I've never been one for cooking and even before surgery I had trouble planning nutritious/balanced meals (thus one of the reasons I needed the surgery). Removing most of my stomach didn't change that. It would have been a lot more helpful if they had given us recipes or really good eating plans for AFTER the liquid and soft foods phase. I need to know how to eat for life - not for the first month or two. Everything I've seen just says don't eat bread/pasta/rice and eat a lot of Protein. Not incredibly helpful.

I went for a walk yesterday morning. Ended up going 3/4 of a mile in about 20 minutes and didn't feel tired at all. Before surgery, I couldn't have made it 10 feet without extreme lower back pain (due to my huge stomach) and without panting and not being able to catch my breath. So the surgery HAS helped there, but being so tired because I can't seem to eat right makes me not want to move at all, much less exercise the way I should, which I know is affecting my weight loss - or lack thereof.

I've heard some say that if you aren't getting enough nutrients you'll gain weight, so that might be your issue, Blondie. I don't know how you do it though. It's just me and my husband. I can't imagine feeling like this and trying to take care of an energetic child. My hat is off to you!

[Bluesea71 698]

Melodica - I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time. I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough to share your true feelings on this forum. First of all, I think you need to cut yourself some slack. You have had some normative life transitions (i.e.: moving, leaving your friends and support system) that you have had to deal with in addition to recovering from surgery. It's going to take some time to settle in.

I agree, most bariatric programs don't do enough to prepare patients for the lifestyle changes being required of them post-surgery. I'm lucky that my program at Kaiser required me to attend a lot of classes pre-surgery and closely monitors us all post-surgery for at least the next three years. Regardless, I did a lot if excess research on my own. Investing in books and read people's online blogs about their surgery experience. I do feel I knew what I was getting into with this surgery. I had my eyes wide open and that's probably why I'm able to stay positive even when I'm having a bad day. Here's the thing, weight loss surgery isn't a cure- all. If you had depression before surgery, you will struggle with it post surgery. If you were an emotional eater pre-surgery, chances are you're still going to look for comfort through food post surgery. We are creatures of habit. It's normal to go back to old ways of coping. Pre-surgery I didn't plan meals and often ate on the go. Guess what? I still struggle with planning and slip into old patterns of behavior. I want to change though because doing the same thing over and her again expecting different results is the definition of insanity. I didn't like the person being reflected back to me in the mirror. My outside didn't accurately reflect back the smart, confident person I am in so many other areas of my life. I was ready for a change. This motivates me when I'm struggling. I also realize I'm human. I frequently cheat AND I've consistently lost weight every week, so I've learned that this surgery doesn't require us to be "perfect." Regarding food, there are plenty of websites online to help you navigate different things to eat. As someone has already mentioned in this thread, www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com is a good one that has tons of recipes to prepare ahead of time and store in the freezer. The old me ate mostly processed, fast food. I live a busy life running my own business and raising two kids. I struggle daily with not continuing old patterns of behavior that led me to be fat and unhealthy. Is it easy to make lifestyle changes? No. But I know if I continue down the path I was on, I will suffer medical complications from being obese that are far worse than the minor inconveniences I'm struggling with post-surgery. Specific books I have found helpful are "the big book on the gastric sleeve" by the BP founder, Alex Brecher. Another one recommended by the Psyc. Who did my evaluation is "the emotional first aid kit". Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Would you consider talking to a therapist who specializes in weight loss surgery?

[karla23 5]

Hi Karla, welcome to our group! When did you have your surgery? I had a 2 week stall last month so I know how you feel. But thats what it is, a stall. You will get past it and continue losing in your journey! Keep ya head up there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Hi butterfly2014,

I had my surgery April15th 2014.

I guess I'm scared that this will turn out just like all the diets I've done in my life, losing 10-20 lbs then gaining it all back. I guess I just need to get used to it and know that I will keep losing.

[butterfly2014 128]

You will not fail. This wont be like the other diets. This is a tool that will help us succeed! Best of luck to you Karla!

[Heidi7799 16]

Ladies I want to say this to all of you please please keep on moving!! Literally when you have awful negative thoughts I want you to go for a walk breathe and know that you will look back at this second month and realize you were just going through the transformative phase! I too have had these negative thoughts but honies nothing feels as good as sitting in a booth and not thinking omg are my boobs going to hit the table or breathing hard going up 4 steps! Yes you are limited to food you had your stomach cut off but this is the time you need to train your mind what your body is forcing you to do food is fuel and you need to change the mental warfare that is going on in those pretty heads of yours!

Therapy and speaking to your docs are key if you can't get out of the funk or are throwing up --- please go speak to people who can help if you need it. Sometimes we all need hints or a checkin because you never know there could me issues and you are the best ones to tell the docs something is wrong! Hang in there and know that in month 4 you will not feel this way I just know it!!! Xo

[butterflypinup 136]

EIGHT WEEK CHECKIN!!! 1) height / weight starting our wls programs, 5'9 1/4 290 2) weight day of surgery, 271 3) weight seven week post op / pounds lost/gained, 236 lost 33 (54 since program start & 69 from highest) 4) goal weight-170 realistic 190 5) your biggest success this week, not beating myself up for not being like everyone else and taking it one day at a time6) your biggest struggle this week, going to ohio and trying to eat like I'm a normal person. Result? Throwing up twice as much. This is only temporary.

[butterflypinup 136]

Ok I've got a new motivational update question we should all share! What size clothing were you before & after (currently) surgery? "Before" -shirt size=3X -pants size=22 -bra size=44C "After" -shirt size=2X -pants size=18 -bra size=42C Answer the ones you only know

Love this idea!!!!!NSVs are what it's all about!! Just went shopping!

Shirt

Before 2xl now xl

Pant size

Before 22 now 16

Bra

Before 42ddd now 38ddd

I also fit comfy in an airplane seat! Road behind someone on a motorcycle without dropping the back three inches! My office chair is way too big now! My coworkers refer to me as skinny! I'm trying to stay positive everyday. Lots to be thankful for.

[Bluesea71 698]

1) height / weight starting our wls programs, 5' 7", 236

2) weight day of surgery, 226

3) weight 8 week post op / pounds lost/gained: 197.6 (2.2 pounds lost this week, 38.4 overall)

4) goal weight: 190 by 4th of July, 140 end goal

5) your biggest success this week: avoiding another stall. The scale wasn't budging.... Until this morning!

6) your biggest struggle this week: I still don't exercise with any regularity. I hope to change that this week as my work schedule becomes much lighter in the summer and I will have more free time. I know toning will help with all of the jiggly bits.

[butterfly2014 128]

1) height / weight starting our wls programs, 5'4" 289lb

2) weight day of surgery, 281

3) weight 8 week post op / pounds lost/gained: 254 (lost only 1lb cause of my period I suppose) 35lbs total!!!!

4) goal weight: 140

5) your biggest success this week: I fit into size 18 pants...being able to add "decline pushups" to my workout, I do about 130 crunches daily, walking little better.

6) your biggest struggle this week: trying to walk long distances, did like 2 blocks before my leg and back gave out but thats ok I will continue trying. Im also aiming to lose 3lbs weekly, didnt reach that goal this week I guess cause I had my period so Im hoping I will lose 3lbs for next checkin!

Don't say you CAN'T do something until YOU TRY!

Edited June 12, 2014 by butterfly2014

[Blondiecakes77 18]

1) height / weight starting our wls programs, 5' 3", highest weight was 300

2) weight day of surgery-239

3) weight 8 week post op / pounds lost/gained: 209.4 (1.1 pounds lost this week, 30 overall)

4) goal weight: 130

5) your biggest success this week: making it through another work week and went shopping and went down from 22 to an 18 in shorts. My highest pant size was a 26 after I had my daughter.

6) your biggest struggle this week: I still can't get in enough Water or Protein. I started work almost 2 weeks ago and gained 3lbs. So upset that I've gained.