Primary care giver

[CarmenLeAn 99]

Last month my mother in law was diagnosed with liver cancer. The doc is saying a year to a year and a half with treatment. I have been and will be the primary care giver. That's not the issue. I've only been able to fit in some walking a couple of times a week this past month and it showed at the doctors office yesterday. I only lost 3lbs last month. He said I'm ahead of his schedule and not to worry about it. Well I am. If I want to be at goal weight by November (my surgiversary) I need to lose a minimum of 8lbs a month.

My question is how to I fit in the exercise and still do everything that needs to be done for my MIL. Or am I just being selfish?

[Mikee57 699]

maybe invest in a treadmill CarmenLeAn and no you are not being selfish sweetie you are on your journey as well...you will be able to walk and take care of your MIL as well...hang in there dearheart...you are being thought of and hope that this idea helps you out.

[rigonj 103]

I agree with the treadmill. I work 60 hours a week plus have a mini farm. I don't usually have much time for anything but I finally decided I needed to put myself first. I get up at 445 every morning to run on the treadmill and then either before or after dinner I run on the treadmill before bed. I make it almost like my job that I have to do everyday. And days I miss one workout I feel crappy. Plus it makes me get even more of my Water intake in everyday

[2muchfun 8,927]

You've given yourself a false dilemma. You are not being selfish but your expectations may be a little too lofty.

Losing 8 lbs(fat) a month is about the most we can lose and it would take more than just walking to achieve this goal.imo

The calories burned math just doesn't work out well for your scenario. Remember, you need to burn 3500 calories to lose 1lb. You need to burn about 900 calories/(every)day more than you consume to make your goal. If you consume 1000/day and your BMR(basal metabolic rate) is around 1600, you need to burn an extra 300 calories per day, every day. It can be done but it's so difficult to exercise every day and keep those calories at 1,000/day.

[Bandista 7,466]

Hi Carmen, you are doing so well with your weight loss and of course as we get closer to goal it just naturally slows down. But you are on the right track with the exercise -- for stress management as well as toning and continued loss through building of muscle. Way to go! You are going to have to choose yourself first. You can still be an excellent caretaker and of course this is a very difficult time for your mother-in-law and all the family. When we choose ourselves first every one around us benefits -- it's so easy to take the backseat but that's not the path to health and happiness.

I also love my treadmill -- it's in the basement. Maybe also it will be possible for you to pop out and do laps around the block or something like that? Whatever you do, know that you're doing the very best thing for every one by taking care of yourself. Good luck with all -- so glad you're here!

[gowalking 10,790]

Bless you Carmen. I have two married sons and I'd like to think if I needed someone to take care of me in such a dire situation, one of my daughters-in-law would step up as you are doing.

[relief57 53]

Hi Carmen,

Don't be too hard on yourself. Being a caregiver is no walk in the park. I hope you have support because I know from experience it can be stressful at times, no matter how much you love the care receiver. As you know stress can be a trigger for eating.

A treadmill is a good idea but I've encountered a less expensive solutions, Leslie Sansone's walk off the pounds video. She has a five mile walk video which begins with one mile and incrementally goes to five. You can get your own copy at Wal-Mart or if you have access to YouTube you can find it there.

Happy Trails

[SandyM 1,956]

I agree that expecting 8 lbs a month is a little steep. Also , is there someone who can give you a little break for some you time? You are going to burn yourself out.