Lost hope

[fatgirlnomo 0]

I'm 4 months post op and I don't know what has gotten into me but I have lost motivation for the weight loss. I have been at the same weight for almost 2 weeks and losing hair like crazy. I haven't been able to get into the healthy eating like I'm suppose to. Hard with 2 kids that are extremely picky and wont try new things for the most part. Although I haven't had fast food or soda since I had surgery. I need help cooking healthy, I'm lost when it comes to cooking really. Although I do have a couple of healthy cooking cookbooks for wls patients. Working out haha ya I've been trying but have a boyfriend that makes it hard to go because he doesn't want me going to workout, afraid I'll loose too much weight. Yes I know it's not about him and I've told him it's about me being healthy. He's lucky with always being naturally skinny he doesn't understand how it is to be extremely overweight.

[Bufflehead 6,358]

It's hard to control tone on the internet, so let me say in advance, I mean this in a very gentle way -- please stop letting other people control what you do. First, with respect to your children -- don't let them set the menu. Cut back their snacking drastically* and they'll be hungry at meal time. It's GOOD for children to be a little hungry at meal time. Let them get used to the idea that you make one meal, you are not a short order cook, and if they don't want to eat what is served, that's fine, but that's their only option for the meal.

As for your boyfriend, I am not sure why you are letting him give you orders about going to the gym or not. If you really can't bear to not follow his orders, then keep in mind that exercise is great, but the battle to lose weight is won at the kitchen table, not in the gym. Not going to the gym is not an excuse to just give up and not eat healthy. You can lose weight effectively without doing any exercise.

You have those post-wls cookbooks -- use them! And if you are not a great cook, there are Youtube videos to teach you everything from how to scramble an egg to how to peel an avocado. You can do this! And if you really just hate cooking, you can get a lot of healthy, pre-made foods at stores like Trader Joe's and Whole Foods. There are lots of great options out there.

And don't let the stalls and hair loss get you down -- I know they suck, but everyone goes through them and things do turn around. Don't let them throw you off track. Keep following your program. The weight will come off if you are eating anywhere close to right, and your Hair loss will eventually stop and your hair will come back. Don't just despair and decide you can't do it or it isn't worth it -- you can do it and believe me, it is worth it!

Best wishes to you!

*you don't mention snacking specifically but it seems like most American parents let their children snack constantly, usually on stuff like crackers and granola bars that children don't need. In many countries, children don't snack or have very limited Snacks, like one piece of fruit, yogurt, or a sweet in the afternoon -- and they do just fine! So I am assuming that you are American and that you do what most American parents do with respect to almost unlimited snacking -- my apologies if I am wrong on either count!

Edited April 14, 2014 by Bufflehead

[jamilyne 102668 1,207]

I feel you! I am married with 2 kids at home. I have to cook their meals and mine. It's hard. I also work outside the home and I commute a total of 3 hours a day. This is what I do:

I buy myself food - easy stuff that's high Protein and easy to make. I make the same meals for my family that I used to make. For myself I buy bags of grilled chicken breast & grilled steak in the frozen food section (Tyson). The chicken & steak are already grilled. It takes like 2 minutes. I buy myself frozen veggies that you can pop in the microwave for 5 min. I buy tuna, egg whites, fresh veggies for omeletes, turkey bacon, Protein Bars, and Protein shakes. The trick is to try to never let yourself get famished! This is the only way I can manage.

As far as the working out - I have to get up early and work out before my kids go to school. I also try to walk a couple days a week during my lunch hours.

I hope this helps a little wishing you the best!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

I'm 4 months post op and I don't know what has gotten into me but I have lost motivation for the weight loss. I have been at the same weight for almost 2 weeks and losing hair like crazy. I haven't been able to get into the healthy eating like I'm suppose to. Hard with 2 kids that are extremely picky and wont try new things for the most part. Although I haven't had fast food or soda since I had surgery. I need help cooking healthy, I'm lost when it comes to cooking really. Although I do have a couple of healthy cooking cookbooks for wls patients. Working out haha ya I've been trying but have a boyfriend that makes it hard to go because he doesn't want me going to workout, afraid I'll loose too much weight. Yes I know it's not about him and I've told him it's about me being healthy. He's lucky with always being naturally skinny he doesn't understand how it is to be extremely overweight.

My thought is you may be trying to be a girlfriend rather than taking care of YOU. Boyfriends come and go. This is about you, not what he wants. You went through a lot to get where you are, so please don't give up on yourself. Make your children happier and healthier! Stick to easy foods, boiled eggs, yogurt, chicken cooked in the crockpot with lowfat Soup, steamed vegetables. It is so easy to eat healthier and harder and more expensive to get up and take your kids to McDonalds. Kids love salad when they get a dipping sauce (lowfat ranch dressing). I think you posted this here to get this feedback from us, and you want to be encouraged - so this is your encouragement to get on the right track LOL! I have gone through a 5 week stall recently, shedding a little hair, but nothing compares to looking in the mirror and smiling!

[enjoythetime 1,457]

I'm right there with Jamilyne. I also have two kids, work full time and need to cook 2 meals for dinner. I make my meals very simple. I either cook ahead of time on the weekend enough that will last me throughout the week or I will make turkey roll-ups (turkey lunch meat, reduced fat cheese, rolled up in lettace, with Dijon Mustard and Light Mayo), about once a week I will pop in a weight watchers meal, or I will make an omelet. Frozen personal sized serving veggies are the greatest thing.

I cook ahead and do things like baked chicken breasts covered with onions, mushrooms and garlic (baked in a foil pack on the same pan as the chicken). I will reserve some of the chicken chop it up and add it to bagged salad and some hard boiled eggs toppped with homeade ranch dressing (super simple and much better than store bought) 1 cup Okio's non-fat greet plain yogurt, 1/2 c light mayo, 4 springs of fresh dill, 2 cloves chopped garlic, salt and pepper, splash of milk, combine in a food chopper. This will keep for several weeks in a mason jar and it's like 28 cal for 2 Tlbs if not less. Or reserve some to make chicken salad.

Ground Turkey or chicken tacos are also super simple and I'm almost positive your kiddos won't be able to tell the difference.

There are several things you can do in a pinch, or when you're having one of those exhausting days you just have to always plan ahead.

Wishing you all the best!

Edited April 14, 2014 by enjoythetime

[jamilyne 102668 1,207]

Good ideas enjoythetime!

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

My 2 cents worth (with a gentle and encouraging spirit):

I'm the single mom of 3 with 2 teen boys at home (can you say bottomless pits???). I never want them to have the struggles I've had with weight, so I'm taking better care of them if I provide healthy food for them. Of course they'll eat junk if I bring it home or have it around but I feel better when I give them healthy choices. And I know they feel better about that, too... avoids that regret over eating junk. I understand little kids can be picky (I know I was) but you can learn to cook healthier and they'll adjust. I find the precooked chicken and beef (for fajitas) to be great to have in the fridge. We grab it for Snacks, throw it in stir fry or just slap it between sandwich thins.

And secondly, boyfriends who don't support their girlfriends getting healthy through better food choices and increasing their physical activity aren't great boyfriends. If he were a great boyfriend, he'd offer to exercise with you or watch the kids while you do.

It's time to take care of yourself mom -- just like on airplanes, you can't save anyone else if you don't put your own mask on first!

Best wishes and TONS of encouragement for you!

[music1618 879]

I'm 4 months post op and I don't know what has gotten into me but I have lost motivation for the weight loss. I have been at the same weight for almost 2 weeks and losing hair like crazy. I haven't been able to get into the healthy eating like I'm suppose to. Hard with 2 kids that are extremely picky and wont try new things for the most part. Although I haven't had fast food or soda since I had surgery. I need help cooking healthy, I'm lost when it comes to cooking really. Although I do have a couple of healthy cooking cookbooks for wls patients. Working out haha ya I've been trying but have a boyfriend that makes it hard to go because he doesn't want me going to workout, afraid I'll loose too much weight. Yes I know it's not about him and I've told him it's about me being healthy. He's lucky with always being naturally skinny he doesn't understand how it is to be extremely overweight.

After reading your post I have several points to make:

1. Sounds like you have hit your first major stall. It happens to all of us! Good news is that you should start to notice your clothes fitting better as we tend to loose inches during the stalls. The best thing to break a stall is to increase Protein and give it time. Your body will adjust and start losing again.

2. Losing hair means you are not getting in your Protein. Hair loss is about 3 weeks behind your current intake. Meaning increasing your protein today will take about 3 weeks for your hair to catch up. Protein is vital to our success. It gives us energy, and helps the body heal. It has to be your number one priority now. Your doctor should have given you a minimum amount needed daily and you really need to follow that. Your best bet is to log your food. By logging your food you will be able to track how much protein you are getting.

3. As for your kiddos being picky eaters, I don't have good ideas. I don't have kids, so I don't think I would have good advise.

4. As for the boyfriend I would say you need to have a long conversation. Communication is the key to a happy relationship. My husband is naturally skinny as well, but we talked a lot about this pre and post op. While he may never know what being overweight feels like he needs to support you. I would approach it as you two can get healthy together. Communication has to be open and honest. Not sure how long you have to been together, but without open honest communication you will not be happy. You really need a good support system, and he needs to understand what you need from him.

4. Working out can be hard with kids, work and life in general. So start out slow and work your way up. Make goals and cross them off when you reach them. For example: tomorrow you will walk a block and a half.

Don't get discouraged. Focus on your long term goals and everything will fall into place.

[sweet T365 10]

Start doing some work outs at home video wii fit I do those and I make my own stuff up.. I cook to meals one meal for my Fam and a very small meal for me my meals last 2 to 3 days I drink a lot of Protein Shakes well 2 a day equals 60 grams of protein.. He needs to have your back your journey is not a game!!! This is your life!!!!

[sweet T365 10]

<p>I'm right there with Jamilyne. I also have two kids, work full time and need to cook 2 meals for dinner. I make my meals very simple. I either cook ahead of time on the weekend enough that will last me throughout the week or I will make turkey roll-ups (turkey lunch meat, reduced fat cheese, rolled up in lettace, with Dijon Mustard and Light Mayo), about once a week I will pop in a weight watchers meal, or I will make an omelet. Frozen personal sized serving veggies are the greatest thing. </p> <p> </p> <p>I cook ahead and do things like baked chicken breasts covered with onions, mushrooms and garlic (baked in a foil pack on the same pan as the chicken). I will reserve some of the chicken chop it up and add it to bagged salad and some hard boiled eggs toppped with homeade ranch dressing (super simple and much better than store bought) 1 cup Okio's non-fat greet plain yogurt, 1/2 c light mayo, 4 springs of fresh dill, 2 cloves chopped garlic, salt and pepper, splash of milk, combine in a food chopper. This will keep for several weeks in a mason jar and it's like 28 cal for 2 Tlbs if not less. Or reserve some to make chicken salad. </p> <p> </p> <p>Ground Turkey or chicken tacos are also super simple and I'm almost positive your kiddos won't be able to tell the difference. </p> <p> </p> <p>There are several things you can do in a pinch, or when you're having one of those exhausting days you just have to always plan ahead.</p> <p> </p> <p>Wishing you all the best!</p>

ground turkey tacos do u use the shell or eat it plain

[greensleeve 457]

Do you live with your boyfriend? What does he do to stop you from going to the gym?

Men come and go. Someone who is actively preventing you from caring for yourself and living a long life for your children is not a good partner.

I'm sorry to be harsh but my ex husband was like that, and I wasted so many years of my life with someone who only cared about what was begs for him, not what was best for me or our child.

Stop letting him control you. You went through so much to have the surgery, you did that for you not for some guy.

[sweet T365 10]

Would like to no if u guys eat bread and the shells for tacos!

[jamilyne 102668 1,207]

Sweet - I hardly ever eat bread, sometimes I eat a piece of reduced calorie wheat toast. As for taco shells - I have had a taco since I have been banded, but maybe one or two, I usually don't eat tacos.

There are some things that I just can't start eating again because I know once I start eating them, I'm not going to be able to stop. Tacos, any kind of Pasta, any kind of bread - I just can't. I love food so much and I know what my triggers are and I am just afraid enough not to do to it. That's just me. Some people say that this is not a diet and I get that, its not. But - if you feel like you are weak when it comes to certain food, I don't think that its wrong to exclude them until you are strong enough to be able to just eat one or just a little bit. At this point, I am not strong enough. (lol)

Edited April 15, 2014 by jamilyne 102668

[wcn1970 239]

Take all the tough love to heart. It is up to YOU not anyone else. Being fat might be easier for your boyfriend but a long cruel death for you. When kids aren't given choices they will eat when hungry. Exercise is any physical activity. Lunges, squats, push ups, on demand videos.....

Stop making excuses and eat/drink protien ALL day!

[enjoythetime 1,457]

ground turkey tacos do u use the shell or eat it plain

It depends on how many calories I have remaining but typically I will have 2 tacos in corn taco shells. The ones I buy have 35 cal ea.