I love my sleeve and I am loving myself

[hatters 47]

Stats: 5 10"

Nov 1 2013: 266lb - pant size 22 -3x shirt

Nov 21 2013 (surgery):248.lb

Cw ~ 5 months: April 12: 180- pants size 12- medium shirt

I am actually holding back tears as I write this because I am so happy. I has happened so fast and it was so easy but at the same time it was extremely hard and slow. I say that because I have been struggling with losing weight for so many years and even thought I wasn't fully successful those years prior well it was extremely hard.

My story: I was a cubby kid from the ages of 8-13. When I was a pre teen I over heard my best friends making fun of how fat I was and I don't think I have ever gotten over that and I am not sure if I ever will. I became anorexic and grow a few inches. Hind sight ( we all know what they say about hind sight) I was never really over weight again until, I was about 24. That is because of course because I on again off again anorexic that whole time. I never learned from my parents how to eat correctly, growing up I remember hearing my mother throwing up after dinner, so needless to say it was learned and encouraged behavior. Ok fast forward to 24- there was a boy, there is always a boy. We broke up and needless to say it was a bad bad breakup. I starting eating like crazy and with in a year and a half I was 230 lbs and a shut in.

My weight gain felt like a Scarlett letter for all to see, showing how depressed and the failure have become. I stopped going anywhere in fear of running to people. I started getting on meds to help my extreme anxiety, but I did like the side effects.

Now I am 28 my mother who is 5 11" and 210 tells me that she is going to have weight loss surgery. This is the same time a celebrities mother just died from it so I was ver much against it, I wish I was more supportive, but with the pre op 6month diet she was 190 just a few weeks of surgery and I convened her to just kept losing like she has. Which she did, and kept it off.

Two years later I am 240 lb and going back to college my mother brings up the surgery suggesting that I get it. I told her I was on a diet and if I don't see results by May I would look into it. I did that for next couple of years. I was still a shut in expect for school and work I never left my apt. I was on first name with the local delivery squad. I graduated school and got a job which required me to move to TN, all while still saying next May. Last Oct a lady at work showed me a pic of her beautiful but slightly overweight daughter and told me she just had weight loss surgery. I though enough is enough and was in Mexico 4wks later.

Flash forward to now. I am so happy that I did this. I find my self dancing almost constantly. I have put myself on dating websites and meetup.com to meet people. Yes I haven't dated since I was 24, I hated myself for so long but I feel like a new person. I am not saying I am cured, I know problems, but it am not afraid like I was before.

I have to say I am happy for the first time in a long time. Thanks for reading, I just had to tell someone.

" I am sorry for writing such a long letter, I didn't have time to write a short one"

Edited April 13, 2014 by hatters

[NMJG 1,266]

Good for you! Best wishes and continued success

[MelBooks 76]

I needed this story today. I'm on day four out of surgery, and I feel overwhelmed by the long road in front of me. Thank you so much for sharing.

[mysleeveid13 100]

Your comparison of your weight to a scarlet letter is exactly how I feel. I'm not a shut in, but I didn't go to my high school reunion and I dodge people that I used to go to school with because I am embarrassed of how much weight I have gained. I'm having my surgery this Wednesday. Last pre-op appointment tomorrow. Thank you for sharing your story. It sure makes me look forward to all the good that can come out of it. Enjoy your new life. I'm proud of you!

[squeaker31 65]

Congrats on your success - both physical and mental!!

I can so relate. And scarlet letter is exactly right. It has always felt unfair that my biggest issue is right there for everyone to see. And comment on. Helpful intentions or not. It's a very personal issue that is very public.