No rants or raves allowed!

[Kindle 8,667]

My rant is, it's too bad we aren't allowed to rant and rave in the Rants and Raves forum. It should be called the "Rants and Raves, But Only If It's Warm and Fuzzy and Don't You Dare Post What You Are Really Feeling or You Will Get Personally Insulted" forum.

Edited April 10, 2014 by Kindle

[HealthyNewMe 1,935]

I swear.... I was thinking the same EXACT thought!

[jamilyne 102668 1,207]

That's the truth! Rant away

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Rants are absolutely allowed. What you must expect, as when posting in ANY public forum on ANY public message board, is that someone may disagree with your rant. Just as you have the right to express your thoughts, so do those who disagree with you. If you can't handle that, then you shouldn't post it. It's my opinion that debate and discussion is how we learn and grow. It's how we learn to open our eyes to the "other guy's" viewpoint and possibly learn compassion for another's plight. (Or, we still think they are a dumbass, we grumble a bit beneath our breath and move on.)

What is NOT allowed is personal attacks. I am not accusing anyone here of making them, but they will NOT be tolerated on this forum.

Have a great day everyone!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

It is always good to remember that no matter how flat a pancake is it has two sides. So someone can state their opinion but with respect to you and others.

There are times when we all have had enough of certain threads and we pass over them until we can again talk to the person who is having the issue with dignity and warmth. No one likes to be talked to in a harsh tell it like it is attitude. I have read a lot of your posts and you are very sympathetic to people on here and have told your story to help others.

I am a monitor of Rants and Raves. I have a responsibility to look at that forum and respond if I feel the need. I mean no malice just like you offering a different slant on life and its issues.

[rayanne 283]

Kindle your awesome....the biggest thing I have learned is don t take anything personal...and we call can agree to disagree...and most importantly the people on this site are just strangers the only thing they have in common with me is they made a life changing step in the right direction. I do enjoy some of the discussions and sometime u deal with different personalities but in the end its a social website

[Kindle 8,667]

RJ,

I have no problems with productive discussions and differing opinions. Not everyone, however is able to keep it dignified and respectful. It's the personal attacks that some posters get slammed with after posting a rant that makes this feel like high school.

I would never purposely insult a member. If I feel their post is repetitive or otherwise annoying, I just ignore it. But I think people should be able to vent their frustrations in this sub forum and receive the same respect and restraint as someone posting about eating a cookie on their preop diet.

Based on your posts, I feel You are a more compassionate person than I am and I truly appreciate your presence and grace on this board.

[TheOldMeAgain 128]

I completely agree with you. It's ok if someone want to disagree with your rant. But nope, they tell you that your opinion is wrong. It's not the rant it's the poster of the rant. I've been through this a few times. When certain posters weight in their friends join in. If you've been around long enough might have see the pattern. That's when it takes a turn and not in a good way.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

@@Kindle thank you. It is what it is. I understand that and some just don't want to see it any other way that is when the damage is done. But alas we have to consider how we ourselves are treating other human beings. These are people with thoughts, ideas and feelings and to treat them with the just push through this sh*t attitude disturbs me.

If I can't be kind and helpful and I do not look for a gang to support my thinking or ideas. I want to help. That is the whole idea I hold on this forum. But I have noticed that people do gang up on both ends of the spectrum and that's when it starts to get mean.

I don't like it. And I would not tolerate it if it were you they were attacking or anyone else that has a fear of not doing it right...I understand that fear. I lived that fear and I will try to remember that no matter what people ask on here even if it is repetitive.

Like I said I have read your posts and they are always knowledgeable and helpful and times you have humor added in so we can see you are okay...That is so helpful when people are scared of the unknown. Whether it hits you right after surgery or a year later we all wonder at some point what the h*ll did we do. If you never think that..I don't believe it..because we are all thinkers and we feel and so therefore we have good and bad days.

I feel it is so important to be there if you can and stay clear if you can't help...I have been up front and expressed myself when I should have stayed out of it.....We are all guilty of that.

I have never seen you as being non compassionate. I think you underestimate your posts on here.

[BigGirlPanties 957]

Man, I need to review this forum more... I didn't know there was a "rants" section... I just see the stuff on the side...I access from work only...breaks and lunch etc... barely on computer any other time... guess I need to go exploring on here!

But that said, I agree, everyone has a right to voice their opinion, but there is no reason to be mean... we all want to help, isn't that what this sight is all about, after all?

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I completely agree with you. It's ok if someone want to disagree with your rant. But nope, they tell you that your opinion is wrong. It's not the rant it's the poster of the rant. I've been through this a few times. When certain posters weight in their friends join in. If you've been around long enough might have see the pattern. That's when it takes a turn and not in a good way.

But just to play devils advocate, weren't you saying that people were wrong to feel as they did In your initial post?

I'm not sure what you mean about friends joining in. Care to explain?

Edited April 10, 2014 by LipstickLady

[rayanne 283]

yes I have seen the click high school stuff on here. I can honestly say that it does seem common on this site Funny thing is I don t think anyone here has ever had a conversation with me before I posted yesterday in a rant and I sure people were offended cause I think differently then them

[Seela 1,187]

Seriously. ..?

Edited April 10, 2014 by Seela

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Huh. I graduated from high school so long ago, I guess I'm too far removed to see it or care.

Edited April 10, 2014 by LipstickLady

[PdxMan 4,292]

OK, if there was a virtual bucket of Water, I would throw it on all of you. It would seem to me a few folks are frustrated by some members of the forum and feel the need to vocalize these frustrations. Which, in turn, has frustrated other members. You all can run around chasing each other's tails if you wish, but if you sit back and read your posts objectively, surely you can see you are not casting yourself in a very good light.

Of course everyone has the right to create posts. They can be about whatever is on your mind and it is greatly appreciated when the posts are created in the correct sub-forum. But just like in America, where we have the freedom to say whatever we want, we also have to be prepared to handle the consequences. Standing up and telling everyone you are going to say something offensive and then crying foul when people take offense is just ... well ... offensive.

So, if you are going to complain that people didn't wear their adult undergarments when going into this process, make sure that you are wearing yours while you are on your soapbox.

The bottom line is keep it civil, don't get personal and don't take it personal. LL posted the rules of the forum on the other thread and they must be abided. Not everyone has the same background, experience, education, resources ... respect yourself by respecting others.