thejudge 0 Posted April 7, 2014 hi I had my op just on a month ago everything is going well about two weeks ago my sex drive went through roof , I wake up like a horny teenage boy this stays like this the whole day , until about 10pm then my body say its had enough for the day, I am am just so exhausted. my wife and I own our own bus and she is not a morning person for any kind of fooling around nor during the day, she is so tried from work when she gets home. so I just keep this to myself not to add any pressure to her and to her day. she has had problems with her sex drive for the last 3 years so in the best of time she is not in the mood. my question is how do others cope with a increased sex drive and how to I tell my wife I am a teen age boy again any thoughts would help greatly Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NMJG 1,266 Posted April 7, 2014 Maybe write her a note attached to a bouquet of flowers? A little romance never hurt.... 1 Mrs. Whatsit reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. Whatsit 33 Posted April 7, 2014 Frankly, you don't tell her you feel like a teenage boy again. If you want some action, maybe try helping her out around the house, doing some laundry, making dinner. Those things are romantic to a woman. Try and woo her. If her sex drive is missing, sex is the last thing on her mind. I say this from my own experience. My husband ended up buying some lubrication and taking care of his needs in the shower. You need to turn her head and heart on. Her nether regions aren't what's important. You need to get her feeling romantic towards you, which has nothing to do with sex drive. I wish you AND your wife luck. 3 misslu58, purplegerber and DeezJeanz reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
awold0 246 Posted April 7, 2014 Frankly, you don't tell her you feel like a teenage boy again. If you want some action, maybe try helping her out around the house, doing some laundry, making dinner. Those things are romantic to a woman. Try and woo her. If her sex drive is missing, sex is the last thing on her mind. I say this from my own experience. My husband ended up buying some lubrication and taking care of his needs in the shower. You need to turn her head and heart on. Her nether regions aren't what's important. You need to get her feeling romantic towards you, which has nothing to do with sex drive. I wish you AND your wife luck. Agree with Mrs whstsit. 1 misslu58 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thejudge 0 Posted April 7, 2014 thanks guys I do all the house work and make dinner even though I cant eat it at the moment I try and woe her but to no luck she has also picked up a lot of weight in the past 4 years which does not bother me one bit. just don't know what to do Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PdxMan 4,292 Posted April 7, 2014 Hmmm ... I am not a relationship councelor, nor do I play one on the internet, but I have to disagree with the previous two posts. Communicating with your partner is never a bad thing. As a matter of fact, being open and honest about your feelings can be the sexiest thing a woman sees in a man. Someone who is willing to share what is going on. I can't say I have ever come across a woman in a meaningful relationship who would prefer if their partner wouldn't share what is going on between the ears. But, here's the thing. You can't just sit down and say, "Hi honey, just thought I would let you know I feel like a teenage boy now. Let's head off to the bedroom." Of course, that won't work. It is more of a conversation over dinner where you talk about your life as it relates to your sex drive prior to surgery and what is going on now. Ask her about her drive and if she has any concerns about yours. See if she is interested in seeking answers to her diminished drive. This and many other personal conversations should be an ongoing part of your relationship. 2 thejudge and DeezJeanz reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DeezJeanz 1,065 Posted April 7, 2014 I agree with both comments...romance her, take it back to how you got her in the first place but most importantly, talk to her as pdx stated. Weight gain for us women is a major buzz KILL when sex is involved and her being tired doesn't help matters either. But make time for a date night and let her know up front that ud like to talk to her about you guys relationship and how you both can pitch in to make it stronger. Although I'm sure she's proud of your weight changes, I'm also sure that it may be a little upsetting to her since u stated that she's gained weight. Even though WE are excited about our journeys, it may take our loved ones longer to understand what our bodies are going threw, heck, we r still learning, so be considerate and patient concerning that. But like I said, make time to talk to her and with her and don't make it about you feeling like a teenage boy again bc no woman wants a boy for a husband. God bless u both. Dee Dee 2 thejudge and PdxMan reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites