I wish I hadn't told

[Jenelle 141]

I'm on my pre-op diet and surgery is April 10th. At first, when I decided I was gonna do this I wasn't gonna tell. But when I had to put for my FMLA at work people found out I was gonna be out for medical reasons, and started asking and I couldn't hold my excitement and told a few, yes I did get the "you are taking the easy way out" "just eat less" "your not that big just exercise" but I didn't care because these are just coworkers. Still I wish I had kept my mouth shut. But two days ago I decided to tell a very good friend who lives far I was asking her to keep me in her prayers because I was doing the surgery and her reaction did hurt. She didn't flat out say it but she started telling me about someone she knew who had complications and I took it as she is just concerned but then her FB post started. Since that day most of her posts are about "not altering our bodies" body image and being happy with what God gave us and today it was not to ask God why things go wrong because everything has consequences and if we alter our body and our health deteriorates that's our own fault. I'm feeling like the posts are for me. And this time it's someone I care for and it hurts. I wish I had kept this to myself.

[marathon1218 24]

That's a load of crap. I guess under your friends theory if your kidney was failing and you replaced it you are going against God because its not your original body. People need to think before they speak for God. Let me tell you this if God did not want you to have this surgery the doors would have been closed. My entire surgery journey has been decided by God as my life is in His hands. I pray for His will not my own. Don't worry about people that act this way. Most of the time there is some underlying jealousy problem that is their real issue. If God does not approve of your surgery it will simply not happen. Good luck and stay positive.

Edited April 5, 2014 by marathon1218

[Kindle 8,667]

So,sorry your friend is not being supportive. The few people I told ended up blabbing it to the whole world, but I have had nothing but positive and supportive feedback. As for your friend's comments, does she also believe people shouldn't have heart bypass, cancer treatment, knee replacements, get vaccines, take antibiotics, or even wear glasses/contacts? Does she shave her legs and armpits? Does she wear makeup? All of these things alter our bodies. Sounds like she's a poser and only uses God to support HER agenda instead of the other way around.

[re14768 72]

Soooo many people are against thus body..no one agree about my decision. .only I guess my husband. .He said he supports me 100%..I get the same thing to from my family. .that I'm not big 243lbs. .my 2 sisters are way smaller then me 143 & 171lbs..I guess it will be hard them to see me smaller. .my friends heck no not telling them til maybe after. .coworkers HELL no not telling them. .just told my manager I'm having surgery. She didn't asked HIPPA violation..and I was not volunteering my personal business. .she may go investigate my surgeon name and she want surgery I'm having ..I work a at a hospital. .don't know what I will tell coworkers when I return after surgery. .taking 4wks off..and what I will tell friends when they see me getting smaller..it's such a hard decision to make to have wls..and friends and family are making the whole ordeal even har5..smdh

[Jenelle 141]

marathon1218 I feel the same way. I always pray that if something is not meant for me for God to close all the doors, I did the same when making this decision and the ride has been smooth so far. At this point, Im just ignoring her posts, as I am preocupied with my liquid diet and upcoming surgery.

Edited April 5, 2014 by Jenelle

[Jenelle 141]

I agree with you. This was a very hard decision and to have others make it worse with their judgements makes it even harder. Like I said I really wish I had just kept my mouth shut it would have saved me a lot of grief.

Soooo many people are against thus body..no one agree about my decision. .only I guess my husband. .He said he supports me 100%..I get the same thing to from my family. .that I'm not big 243lbs. .my 2 sisters are way smaller then me 143 & 171lbs..I guess it will be hard them to see me smaller. .my friends heck no not telling them til maybe after. .coworkers HELL no not telling them. .just told my manager I'm having surgery. She didn't asked HIPPA violation..and I was not volunteering my personal business. .she may go investigate my surgeon name and she want surgery I'm having ..I work a at a hospital. .don't know what I will tell coworkers when I return after surgery. .taking 4wks off..and what I will tell friends when they see me getting smaller..it's such a hard decision to make to have wls..and friends and family are making the whole ordeal even har5..smdh

Edited April 5, 2014 by Jenelle

[Comfy_Blue 285]

Jenelle, first off *BIG HUG*

People think they know about WLS, but they have NO idea what we go through. Bariatric surgery is so hush-hush that I think some people's nastiness comes from a place of ignorance moreso than them just being jerks. I speak from experience because prior to my best friend having the lap band, I felt the exact same way. I thought WLS was for the lazy and/or the extremely obese (like 500+lbs).

Change is scary, painful and scary. I'm sure when people first started wearing glasses and then contacts, there were many naysayers like, "Why are you altering the eyes God gave you? You should just be grateful you can see." True, you should be grateful you can see, but why not be able to see better.

I'm a Christian and my idea of faith healing is that God blesses the hands of doctors and allows us to create technology to better ourselves. I don't get people who are like, "Be happy with God gave you, and yet they use cars (instead of walking everywhere with the legs God gave them), get vaccinations/use medication (why not just depend on the immune system God gave you?), own a washer and dryer (why not use the hands God gave you for washing and the sun God gave us for drying them) etc.

Sounds hypocritical and ridiculous right? Well so does being obnoxious to you because you're having WLS.

I feel God wants us to be healthier and happy. Carrying excess weight makes it hard to be both those things. You're bettering yourself the best way you know how. Some people, even well-meaning ones, are going to have a problem with that and you know what? It's that THEIR problem, not yours.

You're doing the right thing. I send you love, prayer, and best wishes.

Edited April 5, 2014 by Comfy_Blue

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

I really hope others learn from these posts what it is going to be like to tell everyone about the surgery. I felt like I was not being truthful when my husband decided this was his business and he did not want me blabbing. I respected his wishes completely and I am so thankful I did. Be proud of yourselves for taking these steps to a healthier life. It was not an easy decision for any of us. God Bless.

[marathon1218 24]

marathon1218 I feel the same way. I always pray that if something is not meant for me for God to close all the doors, I did the same when making this decision and the ride has been smooth so far. At this point, Im just ignoring her posts, as I am preocupied with my liquid diet and upcoming surgery.

Good for you. I don't like to preach but God is my entire life. He makes all the decisions and let me tell you as of today I am 10 days post op and feel great. I started at 303 and am now at 270. 33 pounds in a month. I will pray for you and hope things continue to go in Gods direction for you.

[marathon1218 24]

Jenelle, first off *BIG HUG* People think they know about WLS, but they have NO idea what we go through. Bariatric surgery is so hush-hush that I think some people's nastiness comes from a place of ignorance moreso than them just being jerks. I speak from experience because prior to my best friend having the lap band, I felt the exact same way. I thought WLS was for the lazy and/or the extremely obese (like 500+lbs). Change is scary, painful and scary. I'm sure when people first started wearing glasses and then contacts, there were many naysayers like, "Why are you altering the eyes God gave you? You should just be grateful you can see." True, you should be grateful you can see, but why not be able to see better. I'm a Christian and my idea of faith healing is that God blesses the hands of doctors and allows us to create technology to better ourselves. I don't get people who are like, "Be happy with God gave you, and yet they use cars (instead of walking everywhere with the legs God gave them), get vaccinations/use medication (why not just depend on the immune system God gave you?), own a washer and dryer (why not use the hands God gave you for washing and the sun God gave us for drying them) etc. Sounds hypocritical and ridiculous right? Well so does being obnoxious to you because you're having WLS. I feel God wants us to be healthier and happy. Carrying excess weight makes it hard to be both those things. You're bettering yourself the best way you know how. Some people, even well-meaning ones, are going to have a problem with that and you know what? It's that THEIR problem, not yours. You're doing the right thing. I send you love, prayer, and best wishes.

Amen!!!

[tebowfan 70]

I understand how you feel. I am awaiting a revision approval, but I also told others and I later wished I hadn't. The reason I wished I hadn't is because they watch me around food. I feel like all eyes are in me. Plus the word spread to people I definitely wouldn't have wanted to know.

As for you friend who is writing these post, I would send her a private message if you don't feel like you can do it in person and tell her she is hurting you with these posts. Also, include the wisdom of words people have posted on this thread. Otherwise, some friends are temporary friends just delete her or change the settings where you don't get her posts. Some friends aren't forever friends. My heart goes out to you!

[Jenelle 141]

Jenelle, first off *BIG HUG*

People think they know about WLS, but they have NO idea what we go through. Bariatric surgery is so hush-hush that I think some people's nastiness comes from a place of ignorance moreso than them just being jerks. I speak from experience because prior to my best friend having the lap band, I felt the exact same way. I thought WLS was for the lazy and/or the extremely obese (like 500+lbs).

Change is scary, painful and scary. I'm sure when people first started wearing glasses and then contacts, there were many naysayers like, "Why are you altering the eyes God gave you? You should just be grateful you can see." True, you should be grateful you can see, but why not be able to see better.

I'm a Christian and my idea of faith healing is that God blesses the hands of doctors and allows us to create technology to better ourselves. I don't get people who are like, "Be happy with God gave you, and yet they use cars (instead of walking everywhere with the legs God gave them), get vaccinations/use medication (why not just depend on the immune system God gave you?), own a washer and dryer (why not use the hands God gave you for washing and the sun God gave us for drying them) etc.

Sounds hypocritical and ridiculous right? Well so does being obnoxious to you because you're having WLS.

I feel God wants us to be healthier and happy. Carrying excess weight makes it hard to be both those things. You're bettering yourself the best way you know how. Some people, even well-meaning ones, are going to have a problem with that and you know what? It's that THEIR problem, not yours.

You're doing the right thing. I send you love, prayer, and best wishes.

Thank you. This site has helped me a lot. It has answered so many questions and the support we get here is great. Thank you for your kind words. And keep me in your prayers. :-)

[lilbitahoney 17]

It truly bothers me to hear anyone say this is "the easy way out"! No it is not. We put ourselves through nutritionists, cardiologists, psychiatrist, stomach sonograms, etc. Through this process the doctors make sure we are ok to do this. This is far from easy but oh so worth it to be healthy again.