Are you open or private about surgery and why?

[acscholz 0]

Hello everyone,

I am wondering how many of you have been open vs private about having the gastric sleeve surgery? I've had mixed feelings on this topic and for the longest time I've had the attitude that "It's personal and nobody's business but my own." I had surgery a year ago and I only told my immediate family. They were extremely supportive, and they were glad I was doing something to improve my physical and mental health. At the time of surgery, I was having a hard time dealing with my emotions, and I was ashamed of myself that I even needed to have surgery. I have lost 100 pounds, and I have confidence that I have never had before. I've had a change in heart and I feel that my story could help other people. I feel that I am finally emotionally ready to share my story with others and be open about my weight loss journey. In the past when people have told me "You look great! How have you lost so much weight?" I responded by saying, I have been eating small portions, more Protein, and I have been exercising. I understand this is only half of the truth. Some of my family have told me that I shouldn't tell people the truth about my weight loss because "I've already lied to too many people." However, I feel people will be understanding of my reasoning for not sharing this information with people until now. I could really use some words of encouragement and advise. I look forward to hearing everyone's input!

Thank you!

[Patricia Tate Johnson 43]

First off, congratulations on your success!!! My surgery is scheduled for August 4 and I have told people that I am planning to do it. While, not the most "public" of a person, I don't mind sharing this piece of news. Most of the folks I've told have seen me struggle through my weight issues and many diet plans. I share with them that I didn't come to this decision lightly and feel that long term it is the best option for me.I figure this time they will get to witness my success. Now, I believe that we can't and shouldn't share with everybody (Negative Nellies and Badmouth Billies). That said, we can't control nor are we responsible for other's reactions and thoughts, if you find someone you want to share with and feel comfortable doing so, I say go for it. It can help someone to know your journey.

[BigGirlPanties 957]

My sister had a gastric bypass done about ten years ago...and a few people here in my office had the sleeve just before me (that's how I knew it was covered)... I have been somewhat open about it... if I know you, I'll tell you...for strangers that know me from "sight" I keep it kind of general, like you did.

I know what you are saying about being ashamed that you had to have surgery for this... I get it...as do most of us...

But in my seminars, they talked about how it's genetic, etc., and that took off some of the stigma... also people are more informed about the surgeries than they were years ago... and anyone who thinks it's the "easy way out" needs to spend time in our shoes...

as far as telling people the truth that you told a "half-truth" to before... if they are your friends, they will understand that you felt awkward...or whatever term you want to use... about telling people...

in the end, it's all up to you....

but you've got this...congrats

[NothingUpMySleeve 244]

My family knows but I don't think it's anyone's business at work. Nor is it lying when I say I'm eating low cal low carb because I am.

That said if I worked with someone who was really struggling and asked me about it, I would maybe tell them.

[hatters 47]

I have told three people. My mom, my dad, and one of my best friends( the one who struggled with weight loss with me). Everything you said could of came right out of my mouth. my brother and his wife are struggling with weight loss and my mother was pressuring me to let her tell them but I didn't. I told her to tell about the surgery but don't bring me in to it. I want them to do it but I don't need everyone in the family to know about it. Which will happen if they find out. She did tell them about the surgery and now they both are in the process to get it done and it had nothing to do about me. For my work buddies that are struggling with weight loss telling them won't help. I know this because a lady i worked with told one of the girls at work her daughter had it done and that girl got really offended that she was suggesting that she needed surgery, so forget them. So be careful who you try to help they may not see it as help.

Edited April 4, 2014 by hatters

[Dawn2680 30]

I'm scheduled for surgery on May 6th and I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from. When I first started this journey, I was very reserved. I told my husband and my parents... that's it. Personally, I think I was more worried that it wouldn't get approved. Now that I have that approval letter physically in my hand, I've been more open about it. I've told 5 of my closest Co workers/friends and talk about it with them as thought it's a vacation I can't wait for.

This is most definitely a personal decision but I started to look at it from that different point if view as: How many people could learn from the decision I've made for me? Is there anyone that I could help just by talking about my journey and answering questions about what I've gone through?

YES...YES I'm sure there are! And if there's just one person that I can help physically feel better just by talking about weight loss surgery... then that's what I'll do

I hope this helps and wish you luck on you continued journey

[Vixynne 695]

Pre-op, I was totally in the "it's nobody's business" camp. And truthfully, it's NOT anyone's business--it's mine, and I get to decide who does or doesn't know about it. At first, I was so worried about being judged harshly, and nervous about whether people close to me would be supportive, that I almost didn't tell anyone except my immediate family. My very best friend--who is like my "sister by choice"--wasn't told until after my surgery, because I knew her anxious nature would rub off on me. Despite it coming from true concern for my well-being, I just didn't want anything to distract me while I was pre-op.

Now that I'm headed to the 1 year mark (my surgery was in July of 2013), I find that I will tell anyone who'll stand still long enough to listen to me rave about how much I love my sleeve. When people at work noticed changes in my weight, they'd ask what I was doing, what was my secret...and although I could have just said "low carb, high Protein, more exercise" (all of which was true), I knew that the only reason I'd found out about gastric sleeve surgery was because a great friend told me about it. She'd had it, and went from 300+ pounds to a size 8. Without her honest and open nature, I'd still probably be overweight, getting fatter, and feeling miserable.

So. I came clean. I cringed and waited for the "ohhh, so you took the easy way out" looks and comments--but they never came. Instead, I became a sleeve ambassador, spreading the word to anybody who asked. I yap about my sleeve at the hair salon, at the grocery store, at GNC when I go to buy my weekly supply of Quest bars--anywhere, anytime.
Who knows? Maybe there's another morbidly obese person like the me of a year ago, feeling trapped and hopeless, who just might get interested enough to look into WLS because they heard it from me, or from their friend who heard it from me.

I don't give a hot jolly toss if anyone thinks I took a shortcut, I know better. That's all that matters--and there's no arguing with my results.

[Becky78 7]

I only told my mom, brother, daughter and husband during my whole 3 month pre op journey and then right before I started the 800 cal diet I told my dad, other brother, one cousin and aunt. The day before surgery(my last day at work) I told 3 co workers and by the time I returned to work 3 weeks later everyone knows and I really don't mind. They always want to know what I'm eating. As far as family more of them know now but I don't care. I didn't want to hear their negative opinions before hand because I wanted this to be my uninfluenced decision. I still have not posted any before and after pics on Facebook or anything saying I had surgery so people are still just wondering. I think it's better to tell less people ahead of time.

[sleevie.wonder 306]

I told my immediate family. But two of them have already told other people. I got so frustrated and mad when I found out. I mean, now people I don't even KNOW now know about my surgery. That is so weird to me. It's none of their damn business. And it's not my family's business to be telling other people. Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, idk. Just wish I knew why it is so hard to keep it to themselves.

[Cupcake 801]

My surgery is May 5, the only people know is my immediate family, no one else, I'm a very private person and it is clearly non of their business . When I loose weight I will just say the truth I have changed my eating habits and I am exercising .

[Patricia Tate Johnson 43]

@Vixynne~~~ I am sooo stealing "hot jolly toss!"

[pat fitz 44]

My insurance requirements were 6 months Dr. Visits. Psych eval. Amongst other things. My boss was the only person who knew. When I got my approval just after thanksgiving and got my surgery date. Day after Christmas. (Merry Christmas to me). I told my family the week of Christmas. Plus a lot of coworkers had found out. I am totally fine telling anyone. I workout at the local YMCA. So people have really noticed. Some ask others just compliment me. I lost 65lbs pre-op and as of yesterday. 14 weeks post-op. I have lost another 105 lbs. Total of 170 fine. I share it with many people. I am going to do an interview with YMCA and local newspaper. I also told surgeons I am willing to come their seminars to tell my story. I feel if I can help 1 person even look at the potential to get headed in the direction of better health. It is all worth it. I believe in sharing this journey with whoever wants to listen. I live the you took the easy way out. Then I go into education mode and explain what I had to do pre-op and what I have to do for the rest of my life. I love seeing their jaw drop when they realize just how much it takes. The look is priceless and my NSV for the day.

[PGee 318]

I am 8 months out......my husband and one sibling know......have not told my parents or other family members.......I don't regret that decision, but it isn't always easy.

[septappt 74]

I went through the whole pre op process with only my best friend knowing. When I got my date I told my parents which they suggested I tell my brother which I did but not by choice. I then told another close friend and no one else. After like 2 months out I told one more friend because she was my drinking buddy and was wonder why I wouldn't go out lol. I actually just told my 12 year old son yesterday. He said I thought so because your eating habits are exactly like that doctor talks about on my 600 lb life. I'll tell ya this kid doesn't miss a beat. I was 280 highest weight currently 192 7 months out 88 down 17 to go:) So I guess it's your choice for who what when and where. I also say smaller portions high Protein and exercise. I'm not lying just not telling all my weight loss secrets !

[happygirlforlife 34]

We all have our own journey and do what you feel comfortable with. When i decided tp do this i wasn't telling anyone. Now that its getting closer I've been telling a few people because they ask why im taking 3 weeks off. With each person it has gotten easier for me. I say go with how u feel.. U have worked hard and if u want to share your success... Go for it.. Its nothing to be ashamed of .. People get venerea boob jobs tummy tucks... U got a stomach tuck!