Old Feelings

[Terribj 208]

A friend of mine posted a picture of me from 4 years ago on Facebook today. I was probably at my heaviest in that picture. All of a sudden all the same old feelings I've had forever came flooding back.

Guilt, shame, embarrassment. I've only been sleeved a couple of weeks but once I saw that picture I felt unbelievably ashamed (again).

After you are sleeved for a while and have reached your goal or come close does that feeling ever change from shame to pride?

I think most of the time this journey is far more emotional than physical.

At least I didn't have the desire to go stuff my face with potato chips once I saw that picture.

The beauty of taking the steps to make a positive change.

[Healthier2day1227 326]

I think the feelings stay, you just learn to deal with it. My friend has hundreds of pictures on her computer and I'm in lots of them. They span a ten year time frame and range from 245-315 pounds. She had a party and had them playing on her computer in a slide show. I would cringe! I felt very sad for my former self because I remember the feelings of shame with being so heavy. I also felt a little embarrassed knowing I was that heavy. But there was also the feeling of pride and accomplishment that comes with losing over a hundred pounds, and liking what I see in the mirror, and enjoying not being in pain all the time. That makes it easier to deal with the other more negative emotions. It's not like I would ask her to remove the photos, my past is a big part of my present and I'm still the same person.

[NMJG 1,266]

Terri, I feel for you. We've all been there. Sending hugs.

Eventually you will see pictures of yourself and not realize at first that the skinny b in the picture is you

[Comfy_Blue 285]

I understand your pain. At the beginning of each school year our P comes around and takes a picture of each grade level team to post in the front of the building. I was always the biggest person in the picture. I am wearing a too tight sz 18 jeans and a 1X shirt that showcases all my rolls. My team however are probably a sz 2, sz 6 and sz 12.

I used to avoid looking at that picture from shame. As the pounds began to drop off, I found myself walking by thd dreaded picture at least 1 - 3 times a week. It's still a little hard (and scary) to look at because I remember the shame, but I also feel good when I see how far I've come.

On days when I feel like I haven't lost enough/still look chunky/am having a stall, I look at or think about that picture and it makes me feel better. The same for heavy Facebook pics of me.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I think that even though it is in the past. You will feel bad for what happen. But you should be proud and let the pride out. You had the courage to do something about the issue because other diets failed you.

Mind games are there and we all face them. We have to adjust our thinking and go on. Just like any other situation in life that happens that has left us with a bad taste in our mouths.

Knowing how you feel about the past will give you fortitude to keep going to travel this journey with your head held high. You have bettered yourself and no one can take that away from you. It is your tool that you chose to get yourself where you need to be health wise.

When you do feel like that, give your head a shake and go on. It is quite the trip. And you are absolutely right. The emotional side of this journey is much harder to face then the actual losing of the weight....I certainly have felt that!

Just keep swimming, okay!