Feeling like a failure to this

[Lamonica2013 18]

Ellis everyone my name is Lamonica and I'm new here. I had my sleeve done on Feb 5, 2014. Within the first month I lost 34lbs and my doctor said I was doing great but I battled and still battle depression from my choice to have this surgery. Since my last dr visit I have increased my exercise and am now walking 3.5-4 miles a day weather permitting. My weight loss has dramatically slowed and stalled for over 2 weeks. In the last couple days I noticed my weight was down a little in the morning from 230 to 226 but I have a terrible habit of wanting to weight myself multiple times a day watching my weight go back up and then back down to where it started in the morning by bed time. Can't seem to lose like I hoped I would. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing but it just doesn't wanna come off. I know in my mind that I am not exercising as much as I should and I keep trying to push myself to do more, but I can't seem to. I don't know what else to do. I feel like a failure and am back to wishing I didn't have this done. My whole life has changed as has everyone else who has had this surgery but I just can't seem to adapt or accept it as my new life. Can anyone help ?? Thanks for letting me get this all out.

[Bufflehead 6,358]

34 lbs in the first month is fantastic. That said, everyone experiences stalls along the way. You aren't doing anything wrong. Keep following your program and the weight will start to come off again. Exercise is great for your health but honestly won't help that much for your weight loss. Don't freak out about it or try to push yourself beyond your limits -- it will NOT help your weight loss. It's an old saying but it is true - the battle to lose weight is won at the kitchen table, not in the gym! So don't beat yourself up about exercise. As long as you are eating right, you will start losing again.

I will say -- I think it would be a good idea, for now, for you to get rid of your scale. If you live with someone, have them hide it from you (or at least the batteries). If you don't, take the scale to a friend or family member's house and instruct them not to give it back to you for four weeks (and don't go running out to buy another). It seems like it is causing you a lot of unnecessary distress. Be patient with yourself, have faith in your ability to eat right, and things will get better. Best wishes.

[PdxMan 4,292]

I am so sorry to hear you are feeling this way. To sum it all up quickly, you must right-size your expectations and read more about what this journey is like.

First off, weight loss at the beginning is always going to be more dramatic. That is when we are at our highest and have the most to lose. Surely you know there is no way to maintain losing 1 pound a day. Right? If you have been researching and reading this forum and/or others regarding VSG, then you know there is a stall early in the process as your body begins to accommodate the drastic change in calorie consumption. This is a normal and expected thing. You will also have many stalls over the course of your journey. Set your expectations now. They will happen and are quite normal.

The scale ... ugh! If I had my way, they would be outlawed for any WLS patient. They are evil and can only serve to disappoint. There is no way it can meet your expectations, especially if your expectations are unrealistic. Weighing multiple times a day only compounds the disappointment. Again, surely you know deep down inside your soul that it is quite natural for your weight to fluctuate throughout the day. If you gained 1 pound from morning to afternoon, do you really think you gained 1 pound of fat? What are you looking to lose, weight or fat? If you sit back and look objectively at your weight loss, you should know that you are doing fantastic. If you had a friend who posted the same numbers, what you say to them? Would you be disappointed with their progress?

You said you are battling depression. Do you have a professional in your life that you can discuss this with? Are you on medication and if so, are you taking it as prescribed? There is a very real mental aspect to WLS and the loss of comfort mechanisms which, for a lot of WLS patients, was a reason for the morbid obesity to begin with. I suggest you consult with a professional.

This is a drastic change to our lives and can be difficult. There is no reason to go it alone. There is no weakness in seeking help.

[odesa 90]

Hi Lamonica,

The two prior posters have some good advice. Let me just say that I was sleeved on 3/12 so only 3 weeks ago today. There is not one day that goes by that I don't think 'now why couldn't I just eat a salad' or 'I could have done this naturally and saved myself all this pain'. When I think like this I realize I am not being honest with myself. I've tried for 23 years to control my eating with no success so here I am BUT... This is not about me, it's about you and I want you to know that you are NOT alone. I feel what you feel and I am concerned for you. If the depression is strong enough then definately I would advise you to seek professional counseling. That is nothing to let go or ignore. Also you have done great so far, 36 pounds is no small feat in anyone's book. I think simply you need to manage your expectations.

I am a newbie too to these forums but I'll say welcome and make sure you use them for some type of support if your able. I just try to take it one day at a time. Also I got depressed when I had to come back to my doctor's office 3 days after my 30 pound weight loss (2 week checkup at the 12 day mark LOL) and the scale had me 1/10th of a pound heavier than I was just 3 days prior. My doctor told me that Water weight can fluctuate wildly depending on how much we intake and what our activities are for that day or even prior day. He told me that we are in this for the months and years to follow and not the days/weeks. I think this was his way of telling me to relax and just work on my quality of life. I would pass this advice on to you as well.

Do hang in there and do post again. I'll be rooting for you!

[HHHappy 225]

I was sleeved on Feb. 6. I lost quickly the first week, then have slowed along with a few no loss weeks. I have put my scale away per my doctor's suggestion. I've lost 24 lbs. I'll take it even though it seems slower than most.

Please get help with your depression. Hope you feel better soon.

[BigGirlPanties 957]

I agree...if the scale is causing you stress...hide it! You should not be weighing yourself that often....

if you are truly depressed (in general) you need to call your doctor and set up a psych visit... it's important to take care of YOU at all times!!!

I only weigh myself on Monday mornings...good luck

[Preciousme123 1]

I am so sorry to hear you are having a hard time. I had the gastric sleeve surgery on 1/27/14 and have lost right at 50 lbs. I too go through spurts where it will fall off one week and then 1 lb. at a time...very frustrating. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. It is called freedom from our fat. You are doing excellent. I also have struggled with depression...actually my whole life. It is definitely a struggle. Do know you are not alone!

Ellis everyone my name is Lamonica and I'm new here. I had my sleeve done on Feb 5, 2014. Within the first month I lost 34lbs and my doctor said I was doing great but I battled and still battle depression from my choice to have this surgery. Since my last dr visit I have increased my exercise and am now walking 3.5-4 miles a day weather permitting. My weight loss has dramatically slowed and stalled for over 2 weeks. In the last couple days I noticed my weight was down a little in the morning from 230 to 226 but I have a terrible habit of wanting to weight myself multiple times a day watching my weight go back up and then back down to where it started in the morning by bed time. Can't seem to lose like I hoped I would. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing but it just doesn't wanna come off. I know in my mind that I am not exercising as much as I should and I keep trying to push myself to do more, but I can't seem to. I don't know what else to do. I feel like a failure and am back to wishing I didn't have this done. My whole life has changed as has everyone else who has had this surgery but I just can't seem to adapt or accept it as my new life. Can anyone help ?? Thanks for letting me get this all out.

[newlysleeved 4]

I was also sleeved on 2/5/14. I have lost 40 lbs. I think your doing great and right on track.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

We have some awesome experts here who gave you excellent pointers. The newbies jumping in also to help. This group will be here to help guide you as you need it. Best of luck to you Lamonica. Fill out your stats as we hope you are here to stay, you are one of us and we will be here for you.

[J-Cal8 13]

Count your blessings. I was sleeved 2/3/14 and have lost 23 lbs

[backwhereIbelong 16]

Take measurements instead of weighing (get rid of scales). That's what encourages me!

And remember the slower it comes off the better off your excess skin adapts/ looks