family problems

[ryany 11]

has anybody else had issues with there family. i have been working on getting a gastric sleeve done and my brother keeps telling me every second how much i am going to fail and how it wont work. he is a big guy too and i think he is just jealous that he can do the surgery too because his insurance suck. what should i do?? i dont want to listen to that crap all the time i got enough problems to deal with

[Cupcake 801]

Ryany first let me say congrats on your choice to be healthy, although your brother is hating because he just may be upset that you can do this as well as have the courage to go through with this. Take one day at a time perhaps once he sees how dedicated you are and the changes that you are making he may start looking into other alternatives to get healthy as well. Good luck.

[Pepper123 320]

Its quite obvious he's envious…u need to focus on U…..its for you're health and well being….there are ppl in this world that would say and do anything to make u second guess you're self….i hope do whats best for U…good luck...

[McButterpants 2,846]

Surround yourself with positive people. He's voiced his "concern" and said his peace. This is your decision, this is your body. Do what is right for you, not him.

Tell him, "Hey, maybe once I'm at goal, you and I can talk about your issues. Maybe I can be your mentor when you have surgery!" I'm joking...I wouldn't say that!

[GemmaLicious 25]

Hi, nice to meet you. I would agree with the other comments on here. Your brother may feel fearful as he knows you are starting to take steps to be healthier and he may not like this if he doesn't feel he can as well. Do what is right for you, which if your like me is loosing weight and preventing further health problems and an early death. I know for me if I don't have weight loss surgery and loose weight quickly, I will be heading to an early grave as I am diabetic already with a lot of heath issues. I am the only one who can prevent this from happening with the help (tool) of surgery. By you starting this journey may encourage him to help himself and take control of his health. Good luck with your journey and don't let anybody dishearten or put you down.

Where abouts are you and everybody who's commented in the UK? Im in Bristol.

has anybody else had issues with there family. i have been working on getting a gastric sleeve done and my brother keeps telling me every second how much i am going to fail and how it wont work. he is a big guy too and i think he is just jealous that he can do the surgery too because his insurance suck. what should i do?? i dont want to listen to that crap all the time i got enough problems to deal with

[Pepper123 320]

Am in NYC

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

brother telling me - I'm going to fail and it wont work.

@@ryany

i've heard from some/many people on the board that have had"issues"/comment from their family concerning their pending surgery

lack of support et al

i'm sorrrrrry you are hearing nasty words/opinions from your brother

you must/should try and let his/or anyone elses bad comments roll off your back

easier said than done

i was lucky not to have experienced such thoughts from others

i had plenty of support before, during and after surgery

so its hard for me to understand why people would say such things as your brother did

you made the wise decision to have surgery

don't second guess yourself now because of silly/stupid things uninformed people might say

this is/probably a difficult time for you - and you don't need his or anyone elses negative thoughts/opinions

tell your bro to keep his opinions to himself now and leave you alone!!!!!

in other words say,

"knock it off"

good luck with pending surgery

best of luck towards your wonderful journey to a healthier, happier, longer life

kathy

Edited March 30, 2014 by proudgrammy

[Seela 1,187]

I agree with the above posts but I would have no problem, if he brings it up again, saying something like... I respect and appreciate your position but I've made this decision for myself and I need you to either be supportive or not say anything at all. The negative comments don't help me so please keep them to yourself. Thank you... Good luck!

[re14768 72]

Oh I know how you are feeling. .my family was all for it in the beginning. .As a matter of fact they encouraged me to look into it. Cause they know my struggle with losing weight. Have thyroid disorder. Which makes it hard to lose weight. They told me to look into it cause a family friend had it done almost 2 yrs ago. And she looks good...now they flip the script the on me .Once they noticed I was all involved and got all my pre op testing done. ..now they telling, yes the family lost weight, but she looks unhealthy and 10 - 15 yrs older. .and that's what I will end up looking. .my sister even had the nerve to tell me her husband said..incentives I lose weight. My hubby may not love me or see me the same. The nerve! !..I'm 243lbs. .how much bigger must I be..cause now they are saying I'm not that big for surgery. .my mom even told me a coworker of hers had surgery. And she looks old, frail,and unhealthy plus unhappy. .and she looks so miserable her hubby left her..and need she told me to be prepared for anything after this surgery. .OMG. .can't believe those words came out of my mother's mouth. .my 2 sisters are below 175lbs. .One is 143 and 173. .they are dieting and wanting to lose weight. .cause they feel big..how the hell they think I feel. .they never ask me how the process is going. .was approved for surgery 4/15..can't even tell them, cause they're not interested. .it hurts soooo much to see how they turned on me..and it took all the joy out of it..didn't tell any friends. .they judgemental. ..I cry all the time cause it hurts. .my husband say he supports me 100%..so you are not alone!

[McButterpants 2,846]

When I told my parents, my dad cried and my mom was totally on board. It was interesting. I'll say that my mom has been obese her entire adult life while my dad is a fitness buff and is in great shape.

He asked me "Are you sure you want to do this?" "Are you going to be able to give up all the foods you love?" "Why has it come to this?" He didn't understand weight loss surgery, much less the operation where they remove most of your stomach. He wasn't judgmental, it came from a place of concern. I let him say what he needed to say and let him know a few days later that I was going thru it and had not changed my mind.

It's interesting how he views this now - he now calls it a "necessary medical procedure" (that made me laugh) He sees my progress and enjoys hearing about how and what I eat. He can tell if eat too much. He asks questions about how things feel in my stomach, what I can eat, etc. He has taken a real interest in the surgery, my recovery and my post-op life.

I hope your brother gets over himself and supports you. If he doesn't, it's his problem.