How did everyone go about telling manager you're having surgery?

[re14768 72]

I was approved this week. .and schedule surgery for 4/15..is that adequate time to give job notice. .it's 3wks? Also how did you guys go about telling your manager. I applied for FMLA on Tue. Doctor said I will have to take 4 wks off. I work in a hospital do some patient pulling. I know FMLA will send information to my director. but I never see her..we have a department manger I see daily. .how should I tell her? Really hope she do not ask me, what type of surgery I'm having. Cause I'm a private person and I don't need coworkers knowing my personal affairs. .that's also why I opted to have surgery at a different hospital. Even if it will cause me extra. My department is judgemental. .I would think as nurses they would be more understanding about how unhealthy it is to be obese. .Plus I hear how they bad mouth bariatric patients that comes to our unit post op..smh

[Bufflehead 6,358]

Your manager can ask (rude) but you don't have to tell. I have two people I report to. We were having a meeting on another topic, at the close I told them, "I'm having surgery June 19, I'll be out for about two weeks -- everything will be fine, don't worry about me." They expressed concern about my health, I reassured them again (we had a couple of people recently with cancer and I could tell they were worried about that, so I just said, really, don't worry, I don't have cancer, I just have some things to take care of, it will be okay), they asked if I needed any help at home after and I said no. That was that. If they had asked what kind of surgery I was having I had planned to say something like "it's really personal" - let them assume I'm having a hysterectomy or anal fissure repair or something. Given the fact that they sent me a giant fruit and candy basket after my surgery, at that point they hadn't figured out it was weight loss surgery, I am pretty sure!

[lockkill 47]

I just had my out of work slip faxed in!! No questions no answers!!

[BeeLee37 109]

I had to write a note for my older son to have late parking at his school for two days (he had to get his brother on the bus) and I said it was because i was having surgery for a ventral hernia. For anyone who finds out I am recovering from surgery that will be the explanation for them as well.

Edited March 27, 2014 by BeeLee37

[hatters 47]

I didnt tell anyone I work with. When it came to my boss I told him that I needed to take sick leave b/c I am having surgery. I also asked for him to keep it private. He never asked what kind of surgery. If he did I was just going to say that it was personal and would ask him to respect that.

[joyann45 29]

I just told my manager I had to have surgery and would be out for 4 to 6 weeks. they really should not ask you what type of surgery you are having and if someone gets the information of your paperwork and spread it around the hospital they would probably know or should know that is a HIPAA violation and someone can get in a lot of trouble.

[WorldTraveler 79]

I manage in higher education and yes, it is a HIPAA violation to ask what kind of surgery. I met privately with my supervisor and told her I would be out for surgery. She only expressed concern for my health and hoped everything would go well. She told me to take my time getting back. I only took 2 weeks off because I have a desk job and can work at my own pace. I can also work from home if I need to.

I am not telling anyone except my spouse and a close friend/coworker who had lap band surgery. None of anyone's business and I am very private.

[JaneyB 28]

I'm thinking of using vacation time because I don't want any questions.

[CrazyJaney 775]

There is a great thread called Super Nurses With Sleeves. If I was more tech savvy, I'd know how to paste a thread here but I can't with my iPad. Search for it. This same question is discussed in detail there. Your managers are not allowed by law, to ask you what kind of surgery. There are lots of comments about telling, not telling coworkers. Hope you can find the thread! Good luck!

[katesuccess 990]

I work in a helping profession and have lots of people around me all the time - and I don't plan to tell any of them - just my hubby and daughters and two other family members. Anyway, yes, they shouldn't ask but some do, and whether it's from idle curiosity or loving concern, I'll still have to answer with something! So, I'll be saying "My doc has recommended surgery to deal with a long-term gastric problem." I really can't bring myself to lie about it, and if anyone accidentally found out or figured it out I'd hate to have said something intentionally misleading. This way it's true, but i'll bet they will assume it's a hiatal hernia or something. That's my hope anyway.

And while I can understand taking vacation time for it so you don't have questions - I'd sure not want to spend vacation that way. Also I think people see this as 'elective' or not really needed, and it's not like that. FMLA acknowledges this and our insurance quite often covers it - so personally, I really think we really should be able to do it as a paid medical leave and not vacation. Just my two cents!

[WorldTraveler 79]

I'm thinking of using vacation time because I don't want any questions.

Whatever you feel comfortable with...I just have tons of unused sick time and only 2 weeks of vacation time that I really want to use for a real vacation. So, I decided to just say it was a surgery and not disclose what kind.

My family thinks my husband and I are taking an anniversary vacation to San Diego/Baja California. They all live in other states, so I probably won't see them until Christmas. I am not going to tell them and just let them think I made a permanent lifestyle change, because, really, it is.

[re14768 72]

When I told my manager. .she didn't even ask any questions. .or even looked concern (was expecting that)..All she asked was if I started paperwork. .which I did the day before. .they have a different company that process FMLA for the hospital. .not our HR dept.

[yolicious1 64]

HIPPA laws! You don't have to tell them why or what only that you need medical leave and possibly present a note from the physician. That's all.

[cari73 64]

I work in a small dental office. I haven't told anyone. My coworkers I think will be supportive. It's the higher up that is judgmental and always comments to our patients "that's just the easy way out" I don't think it's the easy wY out I think it's a tool for a lifestyle change.

[WorldTraveler 79]

I work in a small dental office. I haven't told anyone. My coworkers I think will be supportive. It's the higher up that is judgmental and always comments to our patients "that's just the easy way out" I don't think it's the easy wY out I think it's a tool for a lifestyle change.

"The easy way out," how infuriating! Being obese for any length of time, especially your whole life is a major struggle that most normal-weight people would not be able to handle. Any promising tool we can have is a blessing and an aid-but nothing about losing weight and maintaining has been easy and surgery isn't magic. We still have to work at it, just with less hunger hormones and a smaller stomach.

Head hunger is very real and will surface its ugly head now and again. I'm preparing for a life-long battle and it's because of ignorant people/comments that I choose to be secretive about my sleeve. I admire people who put themselves out there on Youtube-I would never have the courage for that but I really enjoy watching their progress.