BariatricPal: Unified WLS Community

[NMJG 1,266]

Nicely said, thanks Alex. A timely post. We've lost a number of great members. It's a real shame.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Excellent article. I have felt the "sting" of a little rudeness. If it were not for this forum I do not know where I would be today in my journey. I am thankful to all those who have guided me along.

[Sharpie 3,306]

Alex I find that the sleeve and bypass folks like to troll on the lapband forums and bash the bandsters. I am very discouraged by the constant barrage of negativity regarding the band. I had hoped that the combination of all of the WLS forums would not result in a contest to see whose surgery was the best but it's obvious that the ease with which they can come to our forum and post negative about the lapband is too much. I would respectfully request that you or someone moniter some of this behavior. I think if it continues I will withdraw from visiting the Bariatric pal site. There are positive sites I can visit to get information and encouragement.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

Alex I find that the sleeve and bypass folks like to troll on the lapband forums and bash the bandsters. I am very discouraged by the constant barrage of negativity regarding the band. I had hoped that the combination of all of the WLS forums would not result in a contest to see whose surgery was the best but it's obvious that the ease with which they can come to our forum and post negative about the lapband is too much. I would respectfully request that you or someone moniter some of this behavior. I think if it continues I will withdraw from visiting the Bariatric pal site. There are positive sites I can visit to get information and encouragement.

i am in total 100% agreement with what Sharpie wrote.

this is one reason i no longer post as much as i use to..

its one thing to say my WLS works for me and then say (the band or whatever)

does not work ......as that is not true......any WLS works and any WLS does not work..with all things, results will vary.

[kj44 215]

This should be and for the most part is a place of encouragement and support it has been my only support system and I'm grateful it's here. As someone who most of her adult life has dealt with those having the "if u want to lose weight just don't eat" school of thought I try to gauge my comments accordingly putting myself in others shoes so to speak before commenting We are much stronger together than alone. Thanks for all the information and support that's found here

Edited April 2, 2014 by kj44

[Bandarella 223]

Alex I find that the sleeve and bypass folks like to troll on the lapband forums and bash the bandsters. I am very discouraged by the constant barrage of negativity regarding the band. I had hoped that the combination of all of the WLS forums would not result in a contest to see whose surgery was the best but it's obvious that the ease with which they can come to our forum and post negative about the lapband is too much. I would respectfully request that you or someone moniter some of this behavior. I think if it continues I will withdraw from visiting the Bariatric pal site. There are positive sites I can visit to get information and encouragement.

On the other hand, often people who post opposing opinions are often called "trolls" or "basher" without any dialog having taken place. It might be just someone sharing their opinion with a member who has asked for it. If a member asks for advice about which wls to get, they need to hear from opponents as well as proponents. Posting about a true experience that was negative isn't negativity per se, as long as it's within posting guidelines.

On the side bar, there are lots of status updates, topics posted and they may be in a forum that isn't relevant to our particular situation or for a different WLS. It might be good, at least on the Lapband forum, that the sidebar topics be related to Lapband topics only.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Alex I find that the sleeve and bypass folks like to troll on the lapband forums and bash the bandsters. I am very discouraged by the constant barrage of negativity regarding the band. I had hoped that the combination of all of the WLS forums would not result in a contest to see whose surgery was the best but it's obvious that the ease with which they can come to our forum and post negative about the lapband is too much. I would respectfully request that you or someone moniter some of this behavior. I think if it continues I will withdraw from visiting the Bariatric pal site. There are positive sites I can visit to get information and encouragement.

Alex I find that the sleeve and bypass folks like to troll on the lapband forums and bash the bandsters. I am very discouraged by the constant barrage of negativity regarding the band. I had hoped that the combination of all of the WLS forums would not result in a contest to see whose surgery was the best but it's obvious that the ease with which they can come to our forum and post negative about the lapband is too much. I would respectfully request that you or someone moniter some of this behavior. I think if it continues I will withdraw from visiting the Bariatric pal site. There are positive sites I can visit to get information and encouragement.

HA! REALLY?? I find the opposite all the time. I won't go farther than that as this is not the place to create more hostility.

[gmanbat 5,889]

It is disappointing that folks can't see the big picture. We are not rival soccer team fans beating each other up after the game like empty headed barbarians. We are human beings, many of us hurting very badly, on a journey to freedom. We have quite enough abuse from the ignorant world that casts aspersions on bariatric surgery in any form.

We need each other. I pledge never to degrade anyone's choice of surgery. That said, I will respectfully give my viewpoint if asked. All I have is my viewpoint. I have no definitive answers. I believe answering questions can be done in such a way as to not put down the other roads. That is not to say that undeserved slander and vilification will not be read into such replies.

Let us encourage one another and pull together as a team. I admire in sincerity all who have had wls whether lap band, sleeve, bypass, or other. In such a large forum there will be immature people who seek to elevate self by pulling down others. Hopefully the good will generated by the vast majority will drown out the negativity.

Edited April 3, 2014 by gmanbat

[CowgirlJane 14,260]

I agree with the basic theme that we should be here to support not bash each other. I in no way troll on any other forums with any intention of causing someone any distress. The way it is laid out, sometimes I have accidently posted on a forum I didn't realize was in the bypass or lapband area, but i have gotten smarter about it over time.

I think we all have the right to make our own choice of WLS, what we think best suits us and our lifestyle... and hopefully based on some sort of surgeon recommendation. Once somebody has had surgery, it is absolutely pointless to be negative about their surgery. At that point, it is about supporting each other to be as successful as we can.

What I have a problem with is the idea that it should be all candy and roses... when people are preops and they are asking for people's experiences I feel it is the right thing to honestly share my personal experience. I am a revision from the band to sleeve after 10 years of "failure" with the band. One of the disappointments i had in my banded days was that the online support group I was a part of hid the vets forum from preops and recently banded. It wasn't until I was a year out that I realized how many people had the same struggles i did. After a decade, most (but not all!) fellow bandsters had either revised or had their bands removed. In fact, i have in my paperwork info from bioenterics that the band was intended to be temporary and would likely need to be removed. That is my personal experience and maybe it is based on how they used to do bands (I was banded in 2001) but it is what happened. I wish i had really understood the implications of all that before i was banded, but i didn't.

I think it is a big mistake to not let people hear people's experiences - positive and negative. BTW, there are aspects of being sleeved that are negative too, and I am forthright about that as well. Like, I have a dairy intolerance that has pretty much killed my ability to eat ice cream (okay, that is probably a good thing - ha!).

I like that the veteran's forum here is available for all to read, there is much to learn from people who are years (or a decade) into a procedure.

Congratulations to all of us who are working to improve our health through maintaining a healthy weight loss... no matter the means!

[lthueme 66]

Yes, I agree with your article @@Alex Brecher! We are all in this together, some just take different routes to arrive at the same place - a healthier you! It may be a good idea to add some of your comments to the welcome email. Thank you for writing about this topic, it is a good reminder and refresher for everyone who has been here for a little while or from the beginning.