Things to know about Canada

[TommyO 5]

Below is a fun bit of information you may need to know about Canada.

Oh, Canada:

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 winter

Olympics,the following are some questions people the world over are

asking. These questions (and answers) about Canada were actually posted

on an international Tourism Website.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?

(UK)

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch

them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad

tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of Water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to

contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)

A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list

of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)

A: What, did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?(USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.

Ca-na-da is that big country to your North... oh forget it. Sure the

hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here

and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which

is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday

night in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the fe

male

population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you Celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year

round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is

illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget it's

name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the

brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare it by spraying

yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I

dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)

A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Cheers

TommyO

[niecyrenee 2]

Those are awesome TommyO!! Thanks for the laughs!

[ReneBean 3]

LOL!!!

Thanks Tommy!

[aus_colleen 0]

Thanks heaps for that I will make sure i print them out so i can memorise them all before I come to CA for the first time in less than 2 months. He he he

[susansilver 0]

Too funny!!! We Canadians love this stuff.

Susan