How did you go about telling your family/employer/co-workers...

[m_rose 35]

I guess my overall questions are...

If you have already informed your family/employer/co-workers that you were planning on gastric bypass (which is really frightening to me...)...

• How did you go about doing so?
• Were you nervous about comments people would make? (I explained it to my boyfriend like this..."A lot of people now a days do not want to tell people what names they have picked out for their babies in fear of hearing negative comments about it" SO I guess I am just nervous that people's first instinct is to say "You don't need to go through surgery!" etc, etc.
• Did you feel you were explaining your decision to do so a lot?

Any advice for those who broke the news to the people closest to them is greatly appreciated! Thanks.

[gixxergirl 85]

Yes. I'm constantly being told that I don't need it so I stopped telling people.

[Wallflower7522 328]

This was honesty one if the hardest parts for me. I had 8 months from my first appointment until my surgery. Because I had so many appointments early on I told a handful of coworkers who were also close friends early on. They were super supportive and that gave me someone to talk to about it. One of them had the surgery a few years ago so she was my go to person.

After that I told no one for months and even then only on a need to know basis. Most of my coworkers don't know unless they've been told while I've been out. I'm sure they'll figure it out when I go back to work in a few weeks.

I told most of my need to know family a week or two before surgery and it was really hard. I just spit it out. The more people I told, the easier it got. Luckily everyone has even supportive so far.

My mom can't keep her mouth shut and she can be very overbearing so I actually didn't tell her until I got out of surgery. She freaked out, but she's over it now.

There really isn't any easy way to do it. Tell who you want to tell, and don't worry about everyone else. Be prepared to answer questions, but if some one is being a jerk, be prepared to shut the conversation down and move on. My mentality was that I'm an adult and capable of making my own medical decisions so I wasn't going to let anyone question my judgement.

[m_rose 35]

Thank you so much for your input @@Wallflower7522

I just had my first appointment on Thursday, and already got a call today for a surgery date of 6/30/14 providing everything goes smoothly until then, so I am kind of feeling the pressure to inform people already...especially my boss since I will be out for the approx. 2 weeks (during a pretty busy time at the college I work at)

But you are totally right when you say that we are adults and are capable of making our own decisions!

I see you are down 29lbs, that's awesome!!

[BeBeSpArKLeS 70]

@ Congrats on your decision. I chose not to tell many people. To this day only 3 people (my husband, sister, and boss) know I had gastric surgery. I chose not to tell especially before surgery because I didn't want people talking me out of it. My boss did try to talk me out of it.

I know others have been as open as posting it on their Facebook, telling everybody they meet, ect. That is not for me.

Hopefully everybody receives your news with open minds and positive thoughts!

[m_rose 35]

@@BeBeSpArKLeS you look amazing... I hope to have results similar to yours!

Thank you for the input/information. My boss... he's not someone that I frequently open up to, so I think it's going to be an awkward situation.

As of right now, my mother/stepfather know, my boyfriend, and an extremely close friend. I totally understand where you say you don't want people to "talk you out of it." 85% of the people in my life are thin and have never been heavy - they don't understand haha.

[Carol P 29]

I decided early on that having weight loss surgery was nothing to be ashamed about. I have told almost everyone I come into contact with! Don't get me wrong, I don't tell waiters, but almost everyone at work knows, my family knows and almost all my friends know. I figured they would notice by my weight loss and I didn’t want to have to make up stories about why I was eating differently, not enjoying a cocktail or losing weight and looking marvelous!

About 95% of the people I told were very supportive. Their genuine concern for my health and caring attitude was helpful. The more people I told the easier it got. As for the other 5%, I found that it was more of an education process. I have a skinny sister-in-law who works out constantly and thought I should just get a personal trainer and not take such a drastic step. I also had another friend who started sending me links to all sorts of cockamamie ideas like shakes, creams, exercises and magic Vitamins to lose weight. I responded by sending them links with success stories of people that have had WLS.

I’m glad I shared the information as it helped expand my support network and now I have lots of cheerleaders rooting for me.

[SugarFreeMe 293]

I've not told too many people because I honestly didn't want to hear the about how it was the easy way out or that I didn't need to have surgery, I only needed to exercise more. For those I did tell, I said it like this:

"I want to let you know about something that I'm going to be doing. I've been struggling for a while now with HBP, High Cholesterol and Diabetes and in order to take back control of my life I'm going to have WLS. Please know that I've thought about this for a long time, I've researched all the options, talked with my PCP and also consulted with a WLS surgeon. What I'm looking for is your support because that would make it easier on me and help me to succeed."

I found that by prefacing it like this it basically told them I knew what I was doing, my mind was made up and I really wanted them to support me. It's worked so far, nobody that counts in my life has questioned my decision and they all understand what it means for me and my future. For those who are simply acquaintances or co-workers I don't deal directly on a daily basis, I haven't said anything. It's a very personal decision and not something I think I need to explain to everyone I come into contact with. Hope this helps and congratulations on your journey.

[shmily 424]

I just didn't. I did not want to hear everyone's opinion. I told my kids and discussed it with my husband, that's it...

[m_rose 35]

@@Carol P @@shmily @@SugarFreeMe thanks for all your input! Although diverse it does give me perspective! and thank you for the luck @@SugarFreeMe

[jacileggs 402]

I decided to just go ahead and tell people. I am not ashamed of having wls. It was my decision and I decided to be proud of myself for being proactive with my health. I personally don't care if people don't agree with it. It's not their health at stake it's ours.

[Amyllf2 206]

I'm 3 weeks pre-op and I've only told my kids, hubby, mother and 2 co-workers. I teach college so I need to make sure I have coverage should I need it. Otherwise I would not have told 1 of those co-workers. I think I'm telling both of my department heads that "I'm having surgery."

Today I was asked to help coordinate senior night for my daughters lacrosse team. It's 18 days post-op. So my response was very generic- "I'm having some surgery on 4/15 but I can certainly help with everything but crawling up and down the bleachers."

My challenge and big decision is going to come on 4/12. I will be a large group of people at my son's college for his spring football game. We will all be out at a buffet afterwards and I will be sitting their eating my Jello and broth since I will be on my clear liquid at that point. Obviously I have to tell them something, but I'm just not sure what it's going to be. I'm not embarrassed by the decision, but some of the people are not my close friends therefor it's a weird dynamic. I also want the focus to be on my son, not me.