Mood issues post weight loss

[greensleeve 457]

I usually fix us a cup of Decaf coffee and meditate on whats really bothering her. Sometimes she's afraid of not having enough, or not being good enough and sometimes she is afraid or anxious. I sit with the feeling so its like I'm listening to her and paying attention to what she is projecting. Normally I would placate her with french fries. Once I figure out what she really needs I can address it. For example, if she needs to relax we do yoga, if she needs comfort we bubble bath, if she feels lonely we call mom ect. It may sound crazy but its an easy way to learn to address your residual hang ups.

That sounds very sane actually. For me the problem is when my actual daughter and my inner child both need me at the same time.

[ElyQuint 446]

That sounds very sane actually. For me the problem is when my actual daughter and my inner child both need me at the same time.

Ah. Don't forget what's best for you will be best for her. Yoga together, pedicure together, paint really bad portraits of one another. Teach her how to address her needs so she doesn't have to do it as an adult. Unless she's a baby. Babies have enough problems.

[greensleeve 457]

Like right now she's throwing a fit about her homework and it's time for dinner.

She's nine but it seems like she knows when I'm upset and she has to throw tantrums.

[ElyQuint 446]

Oh man. I do that. Lol. So if we apply our theory she is either waiting for you to placate her with something OR there is something she needs that she isn't getting. Or homework sucks. If I remember correctly it did just that.

[greensleeve 457]

She just hates homework!

[NothingUpMySleeve 244]

The best advice I got about sad spells was just to lie down and let yourself feel it without distraction, and then you'd get bored in a few minutes and want to move on. It works a lot of times.

I'm not a vet, but I joke about how I will feel a bit adrift at goal weight--it's like dieting was my life's work, and what will I do once it's been accomplished? (I'm sure I'll figure it out,lol, it's just weird to think that such a big, consuming thing will be checked off my list!)

[katesuccess 990]

I can totally relate, my daughter had homework tantrums too, okay not just about homework either. My inner child stuffed it with food, so I have been determined not to keep up that pattern with my girls. I think one of the best lessons they learned from me was that it was okay to have an occasional tantrum about something that sucks, BUT we all have things to do that we don't like, but we still have to do them, "even the queen" we used to say! And yes, sometimes we just need to lie down and have a cry or feel sad, and then get up and face the rest of the day.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I went to a horse related obstacle course clinic. The horses had to do some things they initially did not like. I loved the trainer's response "too bad, if you don't like it you shouldn't have been born a horse - get over it"

The point being is that real life we all have sh*t we don't want to do, it isn't always fun and we need to just deal with it - our lot in life you might say.

I have been wondering, especially after reading the direction this thread is taking about something. As a kid, i wasn't really allowed to have an opinion, thrown tantrums or talk back. I stuffed alot of pain (neglect, abuse etc) with food. I wonder if on some level, what i am going through is that inner need expressing itself. I have been a responsible mature adult since about age 8 and I wonder if on some level, i have some growing up to do. I wonder... I really do... if I have that childlike view at an unconscious level, that life should be wonderful.

Well, life is wonderful, but just not 100% of the time...

Anyway, it is a mystery to me still but I do hope that I work through it all soon as it is not alot of fun. What is strange to me is that I did not go through the emotional rollercoaster due to food deprivation during the weight loss phase - or if I did it was minor. It is quite a delayed reaction for it to show up 28 months post op, but it fits with my personality. What I mean is I learned to really "push through" hard times through my life and most likely deny some deep emotions in the process... showing up now??? Who knows.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Anyway, it is a mystery to me still but I do hope that I work through it all soon as it is not alot of fun. What is strange to me is that I did not go through the emotional rollercoaster due to food deprivation during the weight loss phase - or if I did it was minor. It is quite a delayed reaction for it to show up 28 months post op, but it fits with my personality. What I mean is I learned to really "push through" hard times through my life and most likely deny some deep emotions in the process... showing up now??? Who knows.

Funny, (or not) I also think I had NO issues at first. I also know how to really push through hard times - I am truly one of the strongest people I know in times of difficulty. I'm not short sighted, I know how to set a goal and achieve it, and I don't wallow in self-pity. However, as I'm settling in for the less focused, less deprived stage, I find myself wondering what the heck. I can not take a break from this - EVER. I have made a decision that will alter my choices permanently, and I'm a bit surprised that I find that surprising! Don't get me wrong, I'd do it (surgery) again in an instant, but I wasn't not dealing with things...just never struggled with the concept of eating less. I loved it, and still do. Maybe I'm thinking this way because yesterday on Easter I was determined to eat what I wanted, but I couldn't physically do it. I would have expected that at 16 months out I would already have that concept down, and mostly I do. But if I'm truthful, I have to admit I wanted to just eat what I wanted for a few hours. At the time I was irritated and kept trying anyway. Today, I'm glad I had something to force me into compliance. I expect that I'll spend the rest of my life cycling with these thoughts about weight loss and diet.

[Chelenka 827]

It's like we're sleeve twins! We ate our Easter dinner at a wonderful Italian restaurant. I had a salad with lobster and crab. It was good but I really wanted some Pasta, just knew I'd end up bringing most of it home where it would become a science experiment in the back of the fridge, unless the Hubs ate it. On the up side it laft me room for dessert, chocolate gelati! Yummy! Is it good or bad that ice cream is a slider? That's a rhetorical question. If I'd ordered the pasta dish I wouldn't have gotten the Gelati. Much as I enjoy a good salad, and this was supposed to be an appetizer not an entree, I did feel somewhat deprived as I watched the Hubs snarf down his amazing filet mignon in wine reduction sauce. (He gave me a bite and it was delicious!). However, the reality of the finality of this choice to forever limit my ability to pig out has indeed set in. It's what I want but it isn't always easy. Not complaining really but the never ending struggle, which is almost completely mental/emotional, is so old at this point. It has been my whole life.

[lsereno 2,525]

It's like we're sleeve twins! We ate our Easter dinner at a wonderful Italian restaurant. I had a salad with lobster and crab. It was good but I really wanted some Pasta, just knew I'd end up bringing most of it home where it would become a science experiment in the back of the fridge, unless the Hubs ate it. On the up side it laft me room for dessert, chocolate gelati! Yummy! Is it good or bad that ice cream is a slider? That's a rhetorical question. If I'd ordered the Pasta dish I wouldn't have gotten the Gelati. Much as I enjoy a good salad, and this was supposed to be an appetizer not an entree, I did feel somewhat deprived as I watched the Hubs snarf down his amazing filet mignon in wine reduction sauce. (He gave me a bite and it was delicious!). However, the reality of the finality of this choice to forever limit my ability to pig out has indeed set in. It's what I want but it isn't always easy. Not complaining really but the never ending struggle, which is almost completely mental/emotional, is so old at this point. It has been my whole life.

I love steak. Usually, hubby orders a bigger steak and we share. I eat the dinner salad, he eats the fries and it works perfect for us.

Lynda